4th Time Test Take

Hey guys, Im new here but this is just a rant I cant share with anyone, because I dont have a whole lot of family or friends. but yesterday I took my nclex test a 4th time, im so exhausted and so dissapointed in myself because Ive gone through the BSN program, and Ive studied so hard for the last 4 tests i feel like im going to lose it if i have to look at another nursing question. Last three times was devastating and now i cant even bring myself to look if i passed, i dont want to know, Ive used ATI, Kaplan, Saunders, Nclex Mastery, and NCSBN. Ive had many tutors. So my last test the computer shut off at 120. I just dont know about any of this anymore, i feel like maybe Im just not meant to pass it. :/ I really gets to you when everyone in your class has passed it and im still not there, anyways thanks for taking the time to read this. I hope you all are having a good night.