"When nurses eat their young"... I think I've been eaten...

"I've been told that I'm not a team player, and that people in general do not like me because I'm aggressive and independant, too focused on the details, and have 'an authoratative tone' when discussing concepts."

Sounds like my first Peer eval in the ICU!!

And guess what? If you are a male, female nurses take extra offense! My first yearly peer eval in the ICU was 50% awesome person to work with/eager to learn/smiles a lot and 50% arrogant/cocky/there is no "I" in team type responses. And in my first year, I did exactly what you planned on doing: ask questions and voiced an honest opinion to better my nursing skills. And trust me, they WILL take offense!

I feel your frustration, but believe me. I started an orientation program with 3 other new nurses and have yet to completely taken a fresh heart by myself. However, the other 3 nurses have...and guess what? I am only one of 5 CCRN nurses within an ICU of 80 RN's! I've only been a ICU nurse for 18 months. It does make me upset because I feel like I actually know what PA pressures mean, while these other nurses just interpret them as either High or Low. But patience is a virtue. Also, there is a popularity contest in my ICU and it seems a nurses skill level is based on her relationship with her peers. If a nurse has a great personality...then she's a great nurse. Or, If she has a bad personality...she must be a bad nurse.

My advice, stick to your textbook to get answers, drop the "why" questions, speak softly, say "really? I didn't know that?" to your elder nurses....and you'll be fine!

I think the first year of nursing is the year of "am I cut out for this???" for everyone, but from what I've heard, it is even worse in the ICU. I think you've already gotten great advice and I don't have much to add, other than hang in there!! I'm still on the teeter totter myself....some days I feel like super nurse, other days I feel like I'm some moron off the street that they shouldn't have even let in the hospital. But I keep showing up and giving it 110% every shift. I have faith that it will keep on getting better as I learn!

Lot's of great replies here already. But, I'll add a few more centavos.

1) ask questions during relatively quiet times . . . when things are really hectic, no one has time to teach

2) as others have said, it's best to approach in a passive, rather than aggressive way . . . e.g., "I don't understand this or that . . . could you help clarify it for me?" Don't go, "I read a study in NEJM today that says, blah,blah,blah"

3) or, "I've noticed that you always are monitoring this or that . . . is that because . . . then, state your best understanding of it, then most nurses will add their two cents or just say, "yep", if your understanding is correct

4) have a notebook and write down all your questions and you can go to the ICU textbooks, policy and procedure manual, or internet, later to check it out. This is because sometimes when I'd ask a question, the reply was, " that's a really good question, why don't you look up the answer."

Regardless of your/their level of experience, I don't know why we all can't be nice or kind to each other. It's amazing how many NASTY nurses are out there, whether they're stressed or burnt out or nervously new or eating their young or young being eaten, or whatever, there is NO REASON we cant be nice to each other.