Got into critical care!

17 days!

One year ago Sunday I became a graduated RN with my Bachelor's! I now have 13 days until I start my critical care program.
I know it might sound stupid, but besides the obviously nervous feeling of starting in the ICU and questioning my other skills, I am most nervous about the fact that I am still not that great at IV's. I honestly just did not get a whole lot of practice with them on my floor. I have this irrational fear that not being great at IV insertion is going to completely hold me back in the icu.....hahah

Tuesday was my one year anniversary of working on my floor! The floor gave me a company card that said thanks for my dedication, etc and one of those 10 point passes redeemable for online gifts (I got a movie ticket).
And now, tomorrow is my LAST DAY!

What is awesome and strange is that it will be my last time of taking care of 4+ patients again...EVER! I mean, sure there is a chance in my career as an ICU nurse that I could float to med/surg, but still....EVER!!! 2!~! aaah.
Words cannot describe the feelings...everything from scared ******** to excited beyond belief. I feel like I'm finally going to be doing what I've wanted to do! Besides moving to the unit, I'm also moving hospitals (but staying in the same organization). I'll be transferring from a 300 bed facility to 800...both magnet hospitals. I feel comfortable at both hospitals, but it will be difficult to have to relearn all the new doctors and phone numbers, staff, etc.

The main thing is that I hope I can enjoy it. What I mean is that for the past year, while I certainly almost always gave 100% at work and focused on learning how to be a nurse and how to be a damn good nurse (in my own eyes, hehe), I still felt as if, "ok, I am here for 12 hours, I need to do my job, make it through the day, and then go home." I was not living my job. I was only thinking about what my next steps would be, which has always been critical care. It was as if I was in some limbo.
Now that I'll be doing what I had always wished for, I hope I am able to "sit back and enjoy it" in a way; to truly LIVE MY
(JOB) (CAREER) PASSION.
I'm only afraid that I will continually be looking to the future for the next step and goal, like school. I put a ton of pressure on myself to go back to school as soon as possible. I also feel pressure from former classmates who are always asking on facebook who is ready to go back...and I know many of them will be! However, I don't want to keep rushing in life. I just wish I could ENJOY this time and let school come when it feels right. Truly, I want to be comfortable as a critical care nurse; I want to become certified, everything.
Also, I don't want to only go back to school just for more money, or "to get it over with," since I'm 24 and feel like I'm getting too old. I am the kind of person who wants to get my master's finished before children, etc. Not to mention the new 2015 guidelines that will require ARNP's to have a doctorate. I'd rather finish before that mark. But who knows what life will bring anyway? Maybe I'll go back for CRNA?
Currently, I'm reading "Lives in the Balance: Nurses' stories from the ICU" for a little inspiration.
Here's a link: http://www.amazon.com/Lives-Balance-...0860748&sr=8-8
It is edited by Tilda Shalof!

Orientation begins tomorrow!

Tomorrow is my first day in the unit!! I'm super nervous. I'm mostly worried about how the other nurses will be...if they will be welcoming, etc. aaah first days suck.