During my first job in a surgical ICU I worked nights with some of the funniest nurses around. You know you can get away with a lot more on night shift ... and we usually did.
Our unit had intercom's into each room for when the patient's called ... all you had to do was pick up a special phone out at the nurses station and talk to them to see what they wanted (granted, most of the patient's were intubated and sedated, but every once in a while we'd get a call). One night, the sweetest little old man (during the day) had the worst case of sundowners/ICU psychosis I've ever witnessed .. he kept yelling for the police, saying that we were trying to kill him, and eventually started calling for the FBI (of course after stripping himself naked).
Well, at abour 4am, we were all tired of taking turns going in the room to settle him down. So one of the male nurses, Chris, gets on the intercom and calls into the room (the speaker box was located right above the head of the bed).
"Sir, this is the FBI", Chris said, in his MOST professional voice.
"The FBI? You have to help me!!! These people are trying to kill me!" little-old-crazy-naked-man yells.
"Sir, we've been monitoring the situation and are on the way to the hospital now," Chris says.
"Thank the lord!!!" says crazy-naked-man.
"Now, it's improtant that you stay VERY quiet until we get there. We can't have the nurses suspect anything," says Chris.
"I promise!!!! How long until you get here?"
"We will be there promtly at 7:30am," Chris tells him.
So for the next 3 and 1/2 hours, the patient sat quietly, watching the clock ...never making a sound. And what a beautiful sight it was, when day shift got on the unit, and he asked every one of them if they were with the FBI. He was transferred early that morning to the step-down floor