by piscesguy

What do you guys think? I have been a hospice volunteer for three years, and I love it. I do; however, understand that my role as a volunteer is a world away from that of a nurse. Working with hospital admin scares me. I've been fired from a lot of jobs because I'm not a conformist, some people don't understand, don't want to hear my opinions, don't feel comfortable seeing someone who is different, offbeat, whatever, I stick out so I get quietly let go, especially if its a very institutional culture. I have an architecture degree and some of that experience, been a bicycle mechanic, a caterer, and many other jobs. I live in SF and went back to school for nursing for the challenge and because I want a real profession I can get excited about (not like catering). I went back and did my pre req courses and other courses for a total of 64 units with a 3.8 gpa. I was planning on applying to a master's program for nursing.

Enter my parents who are both dentists. When they saw my interest in the health professions, and noticed how well I did in two years of school full time plus work, they have extolled the virtues of dentistry, and have gone as far as to offer to pay for dental school if I do the extra school and have what it takes to get accepted. This is a challenge and opportunity. I have started shadowing dentists, and I agree its an awesome field, but also with the added work of running a practice.

I can't seem to shadow a nurse the same way, unfortunately. What do you guys think? I value the opinions of others in the field and I do realize they are just that and we are all different. I value you especially for your experience in the profession and the perspective you might be able to help me with. Either way I am caring for people, but as a nurse I get to do it in a different way and be able to move around easily. As a dentist I can work for myself, but I am tied to a practice. Unfortunately I fid both professions immensely challenging and interesting.

Opinions??? Thanks in advance, guys!

Re: Male nurse career advice

You would be fine in either...go with your gut....and what your heart tells you.

Pisces, huh?....hmmm...your post question is Piscean-like in nature....lol.

Don't worry...I am a Pisces too.

You have my very best, my friend....and my support in how you decide your career.

Re: Male nurse career advice

Not wanting to deal with management crap is what has a lot of us guys working night shift. There's nothing wrong with being nonconformist to management when you are trying to provide safe and effective care to your patients.

Push everything people are telling you aside for a moment and simply ask yourself which profession will make you happy and fulfilled in life.

Re: Male nurse career advice

You should be able to shadow a nurse. Is your hospice associated with a hospital? If so, contact the nurse recuiter and explain what you want to do. If not, try contacting some local hospitals to see if they allow for shadowing.

Re: Male nurse career advice

"Not a comformist," says a lot, to me, but not so much that it's decisive. There are certainly times when a nurse needs to be able to stand up to authority and advocate for what is right. Still...I think most nurses would say we spend a significant amount of time (I was about to say a "fair" amount, but it actually feels quite unfair) eating crap. And I don't mean in the hospital cafeteria.
When I was studying for NCLEX, a lot of questions dealt with doctor's "prescriptions," rather than the old term, "orders." Interesting concept, but a lot of doctors still consider them orders.
Then, too, there are inevitably times when decisions by hospital (and other facilities/organizations, I'm sure)administrators seem driven by other concerns than what's best for the patients, let alone what's best for the nurses.
We advocate for our patients, we advocate for ourselves, but I don't know how long one can last as a nurse taking a kamikaze stand every time we don't agree with the powers that be. My primary mentor when I was a new nurse is one of the best nurses I've ever known, and as I was transitioning into the nursing role, I was shocked to learn how much she is not a model employee--as a nurse, I heard things from her I'd never heard as an unlicensed employee. Good nurses definitely do not blindly follow orders. But still, even the best nurses have to be able to pick their battles, and when you stand on principle, you need to be able to do it with consumate professionalism. Or, at least, she does, and I try to.
I've thought, at times, that some nurses who complain about their jobs need to spend a couple of weeks manning the drive thru at a fast-food place to put things in perspective. I still think that, at times, but we are a service industry, and we do encounter customers and their families who think that makes us their servants. "I'm paying the bills, and I want some Jello now!" Many do understand that another client's need for, say, oxygen, trumps their immediate need for jello, but some don't, and you really can't smack them upside the head. Sometimes--not often, but sometimes--a patient may smack you upside the head, and you can't smack them, either.

Mind you, I think I work in a very good facility that does make patients their first priority. The doctors I work with are generally very collaborative and collegial. At times I'm a little amazed how much input in the decision-making process a nurse with three measly years of experience can have, and most are great about explaining why we're doing what we're doing. You can read a lot of posts and hear a lot of stories about what jerks a handful of doctors can be, but I've gained a lot of respect for doctors since I've been working with them.

As for dealing with the public, that has its positives and its negatives.
Patients and their families, like doctors--and even nurses--are people. Many are wonderful, some are idiots, and some are jerks. Recently, I got a pat on the back from my manager because a patient and patient's family were very pleased that I did my job and a couple of little extra things that, to me, were nothing more than doing my job well. It's nice, being appreciated. It's flattering as all get-out when someone asks hopefully, "Are you back tonight?" and downright moving when they're being discharged in the morning and want you to stop by for a hug before you leave after your shift. But it ain't always like that. Sometimes people deal with the stress of being in the hospital, or having a loved one in the hospital, in ways that are frustrating, annoying, or just plain rude. Some may be nice people having a bad day, and some may just be rectally gifted. Again, you really can't smack them upside the head.

So it's a tough call. Being a nurse is hard work. There's a lot of stress that just comes with the territory. There is also some that shouldn't be. I haven't even mentioned "nurses eating their young," or "catty" co-workers, or "lazy aides." Those exist. I work with a number of truly great nurses with varying degrees of experience. The best thing about my job is being part of a strong team that works well together, and I am just tickled pink that I'm beginning to find some strengths I can add to the mix. Before I started nursing school, there were a few nurses I would have said I wouldn't let watch my cats. By the time I finished school, there wasn't one I couldn't learn a lot from. Same nurses, but I knew a lot more about what they were doing, and why. And I have ended more than a few conversations with aides with, "I love you." And meant it.

It's a great field, but not an easy one. Nurses do not make good robots, and vice versa, but you do need to be able to rein in your ego in the best of times, and eat a little crow in the worst. I'm off, today, after a busy, but generally good 4 night stretch, and I'm feeling pretty good about being a nurse. But there are times when I truly don't know if I would have taken this path, if I had known then what I know, now.

Re: Male nurse career advice

Very well put mike. I like how you finished it as well. Sometimes I wonder why I picked this path at times too. There is no glory in nursing. Only hard unappreciated work. I go home sore and I wake up sore, and somtimes you can go weeks without a single thank you or job well done. It's a job where the patient expect perfection and so does your managers. You will never be remembered on how well you worked, but for the mistakes that you've made; and most times, the best part of the day is when you're going home.

Re: Male nurse career advice

Originally Posted by dhammo01

Very well put mike. I like how you finished it as well. Sometimes I wonder why I picked this path at times too. There is no glory in nursing. Only hard unappreciated work. I go home sore and I wake up sore, and somtimes you can go weeks without a single thank you or job well done. It's a job where the patient expect perfection and so does your managers. You will never be remembered on how well you worked, but for the mistakes that you've made; and most times, the best part of the day is when you're going home.

Thank you. But I beg to differ that there's no glory. Every now and then, the patient at the start of your shift who is mad at the world, frustrated and in pain, turns out to be the one who wants a hug at the end of the shift. So, a lot of times, it's just a job, you do it and go home. Sometimes it breaks your heart, because the best you and a whole bunch of others can do just isn't enough. Sometimes it's maddening, because you have to fight the system for your patient, or fight your patient for himself, or you've done something good and important and no one knows or cares. Now and then--rarely, but still--you have a moment when you are perfect, and someone might not be alive if you had been off that day.

So a lot of it's mundane, some of it's awful, and once in awhile you're on top of the world. It's a pattern you see in a lot of compulsive behaviors...not just nursing.

Re: Male nurse career advice

Nursemike - you and I think a lot alike. I would enjoy working by your side. I've had those same warm-fuzzies when a patient & his/her family asks "Are you back tomorrow?". You're also right about teamwork being such huge part of it - including the doctors, your peer nurses, and the aides/techs. I never even imagined the nurse having such a large collaborative role in a patient's medical care while I was in my little community college nursing program back in West KY. I work with some amazing doctors who have tremendous respect for bedside nurses.

What does frustrate me is that it often seems we do more to satisfy TJC and third-party payers than we do the poor soul that lies in the bed we're assigned...

Yet at the end of 99% of my days, I come home feeling that I've made a difference - even while my feet, lower legs and perhaps my back, ache. My education, my skills, and my instincts have helped someone on the return road to health. I'm glad I made the choice back in 97 to return to school and get an RN license.


In comparison to dentistry, I don't have to run my own practice and I don't have to be available (usually) "in case of emergency". A dentist also rarely has someone in his chair that is truly happy to see him.

Re: Male nurse career advice

Thanks for the post Mike,
I'm going on my third year on a vascular/thoracic surgical floor, and now that I'm feeling settled with the nursing SKILLS part, I'm just starting to be able to truely appreciate the more rewarding side of nursing. We get a good number of patients who are in for surgery related to cancer (lobectomies, esophagogatrectomies, colectomies, etc) often newly or recently diagnosed. Sure its rewarding to provide relief from pain, that first sip of ice cold water after surgery, the back rub after they've been on the OR table for 5 hours, but the moments that move me are the personal conversations that are so hard to come by. Not everyone is ready, or willing to openly discuss their feelings, I would say men especially but I've come to find that women are sometimes tougher stones to crack when it comes to talking about fears and emotions related to their diagnosis. But every once in a while I find just the right words at the right time, and my patient unloads their tremendous burden, a burden that is so difficult to talk about with family and friends because they don't want to worry them, or people are so quick to say it'll all be ok. They don't want to hear it'll be ok, they want to give a voice to their fear and have someone listen without judgment, give support without dismissal. We are in a unique position to understand all the medical implications, without the burden of having to "fix it" as does the doctor, nor are we scared away by the prospect of death and pain as might a loved one. I had this experience again just days ago...and after holding my patients hand as he cried for a bit and he voiced his fears and I clarified some of his unjustified fears (the worst being the fear of the unkown) he just smiled at me, patted my hand and said thankyou. I can't describe adequately how I felt as I walked out of that room. It was such a blend of joy, sadness, pride and awe. I know I made the right choice in becoming a nurse, it gives back to me in profound ways, and the more I give the more i get. I'm sorry, but for those who complain about sore feet and a long day, its a tradeoff I would make anyday of the week.

Re: Male nurse career advice

No point in repeating, I would generally agree with Mike. License @ 20 yrs old and did most of what one can do in nsg. Its been good, but my co-workers have made it great.