by Reallyconfused0160

Hello everyone. I am really sorry if this is not the correct area to post questions about nursing and nursing info. I have searched allnurses.com and haven't had lucky finding where to post, although, before I became a member had been reading much of the post.

First, a little bit about me. I am a male, aged 33, single, no kids, not that this matters- (gay), but who would have thought, a male nurse lol, not saying at all that all male nurses are gay but I just happen to be a person interested in this field.

I am from Central MA. I have always been one of those people CONFUSED about what I wanted to be, but knew, somewhere deep down, that I wanted to be a nurse or a teacher.

I have an Associates in Liberal Arts from Quinsigamond Community in Worcester. I also have a Bachelor Degree (two of them) 1. Business Admin 2. Urban Studies with a concentration in Public Policy and Urban Community Development from Worcester State College. Although I did not have the greatest grades, especially when I first started college in 94 (then dropped out) went back, yadda yadda....I was able to complete my Associates in Liberal Arts and my two bachelors with a 3.0- although that might not seem very high to some, it was a goal I had.

Right now, I am unemployed, collecting unemployment. It may seem pretty fun at first, so you get a few weeks off, then it gets OLD, boring depressing etc.

I took a year off from college, (graduated at 32!) saying that I WILL NEVER EVER TOUCH another text book in my life. Like I said, I have always wanted to go into nursing- but the fear of poop, blood, nasty stuff, has always kept me from going. For some odd reason, all of that doesn't matter (AND OF DRAWING BLOOD). I think by me obtaining the degrees, it has given me the confidence to overcome anything.

Besides, when you pick up poop, draw blood, bodily fluids, etc, you are protected, maybe maturity on my part has let me overcome the fear. Maybe losing my grandma earlier this year, or even just visiting my aunt at Tewksbury State Hospital in MA and seeing how, even though, she is not often visted by relatives (my fault as well), how WELL the nursing and even the housekeeping staff have taken wonderful care of her.

It brought tears to my eyes to see how these people (and I really didn't check their titles), they were just so kind to her. I do have a very big soft spot for elderly people, and wanting to make some sort of difference.

Sometimes I want to kick myself in the arse for not actually getting on board in this field earlier!

I am facing some problems right now- hopefully not forever. I was in a car accident in September. The worst pain EVER! I was Dx'd with a herniated disk- Gosh, that type of pain is HORRIBLE. I have been in and out of the ER etc. I was put on Oxycodone IR 5 @ 120 per month. That medication had practically saved me, in forms of pain control, as well as cortizone shots. I was supposed to go for surgery a few months ago, got scared and didn't go.

Guess what, my pain is getting so much better, day by day, which leads me to believe that I am healing. The one battle I have now is a pain medication addiction. Now, I know we have all made mistakes in the past, but geeze, this pain medication (Oxycodone with no Tylnol) is so easy to abuse. I messed with fire and now paying the price.

I was taking 5/day for almost a year, along with Vicodin. I won't get into much detail about my drug abuse, but will say that I am chosing not to let drugs over take me. I believe that I have an addictive personality, but addiction shouldn't keep me out of the proffesion. First: The percs, wow, what a great feeling when you take more than prescribed, but what a wrong thing to do. Then I got myself caught up in abusing OxyContin (obviously from the street), THEN cocaine (did it for a few weeks and stopped) then tried heroin a few times. I will not do that stuff again, made my mistakes, learned from them. Anyways, I have accomplished two things that I thought I'd never be able to do: After taking 240 pain pills a month (until my Vicodin) script ran out in Feb/Mar (I was getting 1 script for 120 Vikes 7.5/325 and another one for IC OXY IR 5mgs 120) and poppping them like candy. I was in pain. But there were times I wasn't in pain, would take 5/6 at a time....etc. But for two days going on #3, I have been able to ween myself down to 2 OXY IR/day. I want OFF of this drug. Yes, it has been a lifesaver, but believe me, these things turn on you.

I am not getting any medical help in doing this, I believe that I can stop my addiction before it gets out of control. Knowing how Percocet works, I'd rather be in pain then take this stuff.

W/Ds are not that fun, but I am sure that I can overcome it, with tapering. I am so relieved, that almost after a year, my back pain is just about gone. Surgery, would have been a mistake IMO.

I also get chronic headaches, as I was DX'd with nerve damage due to an injury at my former workplace. Something was thrown at my head area, by another coworker, and it took 3 yrs to get a DX of Post Traumatic TN. Ouch. I do take Klonipin (another evil drug) along with Tegretal.

I've been DX'd with bipolar (i think just to classify me with something), I do NOT have manic episodes, I do get depressed, but I believe many people become depressed when things don't go their way. I want to change it all and make things go my way. Who else knows what I've been DX'd with: Chronic Fatigue (yeah, only if I don't motivate myself), Hpyertension (yay, I was able to lose weight and bring my BP way down), anxiety (ok, so I do have some anxiety, but I am finding that POPPING pills is not the answer to every thing).

I have no Criminal Record, clean CORI, was cori checked 8 years in a row as I did student transportation, yes I was a school bus driver for 8 years, something I always wanted to do.

Some questions
1. Am i going to be classified as too crazy to go into nursing? You know, those DX's in my medical reports: Anxiety, Bipolar, Pain, etc? I feel as if I just need to find my niche in life, get things straightened out, etc and also the age factor- I've matured.

2. Am I too old to go into nursing school, I will be wait-listed so probably won't get into nursing till I'm 36/7 YIKES.

3. Do all the things on my medical record prevent me from nursing? I've never caused harm to anyone, caused bodily harm (yes I've been harmed), but i am a moral person, with ethics, compassion, skills, educated, -just right now in a plain old RUT!

4. I want to go for my ADN first at a community college (Quinsigamond in worcester). I have heard of the Accelerated BSN programs, but NO THANK YOU! I like to academically work at a semester to semester pace, and not may millions (ok the price at Becker or other private instituations, just a bit too high for me), so I don't mind being wait listed.

5. I want to eventually go into the field of Addiction- RN (is there such a field)?

6. A and P 1, I took 5 years ago! The college is accepting it and the advisor said to take A and P 2. Am I playing with fire here, should I retake A and P 1????????? I'm just nervous about jumping into a and p 2 after haven't taking a and p 1 for 5 years. Would I be on a path to fail just going into #2?

7. OK, so, when people think of someone with an addiction (as I believe I am addicted to Percocet), and putting myself through hell right now, to get off these meds (weaned down to 2) as it's hard!, have three undergraduate degrees, had pain in the past (chronically) Gosh, that is hard stuff, and thankfully it's going away, Should I pursue a degree in nursing.

Perhaps-- no matter what answers I get, I will do it anyway as I'm quite stubborn and going to get what I want, just wanted to know if I tell my PCP that I'm planning a health career, could he prevent me from doing it? As I have to get a physical. If I was able to drive a school bus for 8 years, got 3 degrees, I think, hopefully, I can fulfill my dreams and go into nursing. The way I see it is, the more diverse the people working in health care, the better...Right?

Thanks

Re: Interested in Nursing School, but?!

Wow ...

Where do I begin with your post? Well, I personally cannot begin to even discuss topics of addiction with you because the only addiction I have ever battled was nicotine and I successfully quit smoking (forever) 7 years ago, and never again will I return to that nasty habit - I've become the most vehement anti-smoker around .. but that's enough on that ... I have no idea how much the addictions thing and the psych dx's bear on your future as a nurse. I will defer to someone else more knowledgeable on that to respond to you.

With regards to you being too old, no absolutely not ... many men much older than you are entering the profession (myself included, though I hesitate to say I am MUCH older than you). So, no need to worry about that.

It sounds to me (just my objective opinion based on how you have come across in your post) like you need to actually come to terms with a lot of stuff in your life and bring those to closure before you take on something as intense as nursing school. No matter whether you do an ADN or a BSN, it's a huge life committment and you really should not be entering it with any sense of ongoing issues that needs resolve. I have not started my nursing program yet (still completing prereqs) but I would gather that there really is no time to handle major personal battles and balance an intense academic curriculum simultaneously. Nursing school envelops your entire existence it seems and if you're not prepared to embrace that reality, your academics will suffer and basically you won't survive it to see graduation.

I definitely suggest taking A&P over no matter how well you did, a more recent successful grade is better to demonstrate your mastery in the subject plus you will also benefit from a refresher (I know I have, taking A&P this summer after having taken it over 10 years ago). I would not recommmend jumping into A&P 2 after 5 years from A&P 1. That's just my take on it.

Since you are unemployed, I would suggest that you find opportunities to volunteer @ your local hospital, and that would give you a better idea as to whether you really want to do nursing. I am concerned however about your substance abuse issues and whether that might be a roadblock in surviving a background check which as a volunteer you will surely have to undergo. That's something you will want to look into. Volunteering will expose you more to nurses and what they do day to day plus it will get you working so to speak in a hospital environment and working with patients. You need this kind of exposure to validate your desire to go into nursing. No one should actually go into nursing without having gone through this type of self-evaluation. It would be a waste of time and money otherwise. I think too many people these days are running towards nursing with visions of job security and such without really having a desire to do nursing in the first place. A waning economy makes people do crazy things .. I am not saying YOU are one of these people, but I know there are many people in nursing school right now who have suffered through layoffs and long unemployment who only want to be secure in a job and really don't have the heart to be nurses. Unfortunately, those will be the nurses that will burnout the fastest and leave the profession as soon as something better comes along outside of nursing - ultimately leaving yet another unfilled gap in the shortage.

There was a lot of info in your post and I tried to address the gist of it at this late hour ... that's all I have for you now ... good luck to you.

Re: Interested in Nursing School, but?!

Thank you for your responce. I am having a bit difficulty figuring this forum out, as I'm new...and I've joined many other non nursing sites!

Re: Interested in Nursing School, but?!

Hey there -

Wow...that was a lot to digest, but I'm glad you shared it. All the issues you discussed do have a bearing on you potentially becoming an RN.

First of all, I think you need to get yourself into some sort of treatment program or at least support group. I know you're out of work now, but I should think your community mental health program should be able to point you toward some resources. I know you think you can beat this by yourself, and if you are being honest you seem to be doing good with it...at this point. But think about what you said....you'd like to work as an RN in the field of addiction recovery. To say that you must surely know that many people need help to fully overcome their addictions...including yourself.

You might want to introduce yourself to the Nurses in Recovery Forum. At first I thought it was for nurses who work in recovery, LOL, but when I visited it I saw that it was for nurses that are in recovery regarding drug/alcohol abuse. I'm not sure how active the forum is, but if you're serious and if you are having issues with addiction the people on that forum might be the most important section of All Nurses for you to visit.

I don't think the other issues you discussed would prevent you from working in nursing. They would be issues you'd have to deal with along the way - stress could exacerbate them, and there's lots of stress in nursing school and nursing as a career.

And you're NEVER too old. I'm 45 and just finishing up my last year of nursing school this year. I formerly worked in the world of marketing and PR.

Private message me if you want to discuss further.

Good luck!

Re: Interested in Nursing School, but?!

Many nursing students are "non-traditional" students going for second or third degrees. My class started at 104 students and probably less than 10 were freshmen right out of highschool. Most I would guess where in their late 20s early 30s.