What are your thoughts on patients who request no male nurses taking care of them? - page 9

by Mike A. Fungin RN 31,683 Views | 132 Comments

What are your thoughts on patients who request no male nurses taking care of them?... Read More


  1. 1
    Quote from [url="http://allnurses.com/men-in-nursing/what-your-thoughts-748611-post6636817.html#post6636817"
    quote[/url] from aachavez
    it's totally different than asking for racial preference, and hope than whenever i ask for a femal i don't offend any one, it certainly isn't my intention, as i'm sure is the case for many that make this type of request.
    quote from zippygbr
    why is it different what is the rationale for saying it's different ...

    while we should respect the wishes of patients within the limitations of the service, we need to consider why people find it acceptable, rather than something that is done to suit the irrational wants of patients ...
    zippygbr;6641161]
    that is a good question, zippygbr, and here is the answer:

    people of different races are fundamentally the same (their differences being almost entirely mere differences of appearance). men and women, on the other hand, are fundamentally different, and those differences carry strong emotional elements in all of us. as for being irrational, you are absolutely correct; but who among us does not have irrational ideas and emotions? humans are funny critters, and, in my experience, it is best to just let people have the little irrational quirks that make them comfortable and get on with my own life.

    ps: some of us think that those fundamental differences between men and women are some of the best ideas that god ever had, but that is another conversation for another day.
    Last edit by CountyRat on Jul 6, '12 : Reason: Clean up a wordy sentence.
    tewdles likes this.
  2. 0
    Quote from Albert4
    Exactly, just like when a patient requests, nicely, that no black or Asian nurses take care of them.
    It's all about patient comfort, right?
    That is a completely different issue, Albert4. Please see my post immediately above.
  3. 2
    Quote from CountyRat
    That is a completely different issue, Albert4. Please see my post immediately above.
    I disagree. I don't think patients making requests for nurses of a certain race are different from those requests based on sex.

    These are often emotional, not logical, requests.

    If we accept the argument that, as many have posted here, we should respect patients' wishes whenever possible by accommodating requests for an assignment change (i.e. to a female provider) then the same should apply to requests based on race.

    Who are we to say that the request from a female patient who is uncomfortable with a male nurse is somehow MORE deserving of respect than the Asian patient who requests no black nurses? Both requests are personal, emotional, and in most cases not based in logic.

    I posted this question in response to a thread I read where many nurses were bashing patients who request not to have minority nurses. I personally grew up in a melting pot, and could care less what color my care providers are. That said, just because some of us find one request distasteful, doesn't excuse the double standard.
    anotherone and tewdles like this.
  4. 2
    i haven't read all the posts but i do have something to say

    I'm a religious orthodox jew, born and raised. until i was about 5, my pcp was male. after that it was female because her office (same practice as the male) was closer. after she left the practice, i was already preteen and wanted a female. after switching practices (midteens) i also got a female PCP. for the emergency strep culture etc. i've had men do it. when leaving the peds practice my one req was i want a female. my pcp is leaving the practice and her replacement is a female NP (thank g-d. i'd hate to switch again). if i needed an ob-gyn i would choose female.

    this modesty is not only for intimate issues. i went for a manicure last week and politely declined the request to have the male manicurist do my nails. in my circle there is no casual touching between male and females other than immediate family or husband/wife. when i meet men for professional reasons i politely say i cannot shake hands for reason of religion. i have yet to have a man be insulted when i refused.

    if a jewish women asks for a female nurse it is usually for religious reasons of modesty. I'm single and would probably near faint if i had to disrobe before a male. i had to go to the ER recently and was cared for by a female RN but the NP was male. as he knew i was a nursing student he asked all the questions he needed to without having to do a complete physical. he understood why i left my bra on and why i only lifted my gown up to the ribs. BUT, being transported to the ER i had a male ambulance crew take me to the hospital. when it is necessary, it is allowed. but if/when i have a choice that can be accommodated, i would most likely choose a female nurse/dr.

    (please note, some of this is simplified for easier understanding. also, other circles may be more strict or more lenient than I wrote)
    bargraphix and tewdles like this.
  5. 0
    Quote from klone
    I would wonder if they also request no male physicians, and if not, wonder why people have a hang-up about male nurses, but don't seem to bat an eye about male doctors.

    This is a common request on the OB unit on which I work, where we regularly have women who are from Egypt or Somalia, and it's a common cultural practice that they only have female care providers (nurses AND physicians). Luckily, most of the residents at our teaching hospital are women, so it's easy to accommodate.
    Culture does have a lot to do with it. Where I'm from , not even expecting DADs are allowed in the OB wards...much less for male nurses nor doctors, all the deliveries are done by women. I do agree that honestly, I've hardly ever hear requests for a female doctor, if at all, most patient just go with what ever doctor gender is on that shift, which is a bit odd...so I think there's more to it than just a comfort issue.
  6. 0
    I am a CNA @ a nursing home. There is only 1 resident there who won't allow me to provide care for her because I am a male. Both her, and her sister who visits her often, want nothing to do with me. I respect her opinion / decision. There is multiple possibilities why she may feel that way. Unfortunately, in some females' minds, things that some males do to women gives all of us a bad name.
    Last edit by toddmeyer11 on Jul 14, '12
  7. 1
    Quote from abiklags
    this modesty is not only for intimate issues. i went for a manicure last week and politely declined the request to have the male manicurist do my nails. in my circle there is no casual touching between male and females other than immediate family or husband/wife. when i meet men for professional reasons i politely say i cannot shake hands for reason of religion. i have yet to have a man be insulted when i refused.
    I'm not trying to be an ass or offensive so please don't take my question that way.

    If you can't even shake hands with a man then how will you be able to do nursing? You will need to do much more than shake hands.

    In theory you could work with all female patients (i.e. maternity), but there is no guarantee that will happen - especially for you entire career.
    anotherone likes this.
  8. 0
    Quote from zieglarf
    I'm not trying to be an ass or offensive so please don't take my question that way.

    If you can't even shake hands with a man then how will you be able to do nursing? You will need to do much more than shake hands.

    In theory you could work with all female patients (i.e. maternity), but there is no guarantee that will happen - especially for you entire career.
    No offense taken. the key word is 'casual'. Many great Rabbis have said it is forbidden for a jewish man or woman to shake hands with the opposite gender, even if the other party is non-jewish. casual touching that is not medically needed is not allowed.

    when working with male pts, it is medically needed and I am allowed to do my care. The rules of the Torah are for us to live by, not to die. If someone's life is in danger, many many rules which are generally kept may be pushed out of the way. for example, childbirth is considered in Halacha (jewish law) as life threatening. one is allowed to pick up the phone and call 911, a taxi etc ON THE SABBATH (when these things are forbidden) to get to the hospital. there are still limitations on what one is allowed to do but many things are pushed to the side until the danger has passed.

    these laws are rather intricate and i tried to explain them clearly. If i have not succeeded, ask away. I will gladly answer questions regarding this.

    I actually hated my maternity rotation and did everything but swear i was never going to work there
  9. 0
    Your answer makes sense to me and is what I suspected. Thanks!
  10. 0
    Quote from zieglarf
    Your answer makes sense to me and is what I suspected. Thanks!
    you're very welcome


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