The Great Double Standard? - page 8

I would like opinions from the rest of you guys. It seems everywhere I turn that there is this double standard that men nurses should not be providing care for any of women's intimate needs. I am... Read More

  1. by   Anoetos
    Quote from baila
    From a religious perspective, I prefer a female nurse to deal with my "female" issues. I chose a female OB/GYN for that reason. When hospitalized, people have few choices, and they suffer much indignity. If they request a female to do personal care, we should respect their rights.

    If you can't find a job in OB/GYN, give it up. An individual with one arm can't be a pilot of a F-16. If you can't accept reality, then I guess you can moan and groan and fight the system.
    This makes sense to me.
    Last edit by Anoetos on May 5, '10
  2. by   bigrigcowboy
    Not to stir the pot but I wanted to chime in here. As a male pt. it has been my personal experience that male nurses are more adept at dealing with male genetalia issues. I believe that having "one of those" weather it be male or female has some advantage. Any thoughts?
  3. by   nursemike
    Quote from baila
    From a religious perspective, I prefer a female nurse to deal with my "female" issues. I chose a female OB/GYN for that reason. When hospitalized, people have few choices, and they suffer much indignity. If they request a female to do personal care, we should respect their rights.

    If you can't find a job in OB/GYN, give it up. An individual with one arm can't be a pilot of a F-16. If you can't accept reality, then I guess you can moan and groan and fight the system.
    While I agree it's important to respect patients' dignity, a male nurse is not incapable of performing the duties of any OB/GYN nurse. It is important to recognize reality, but not necessary to "accept" it. This is a reality that can be changed, not by moaning and groaning, but by educating. I've been told by several patients that they were unsure about having a male nurse at the beginning of my shift, but all for it by the end. In my lifetime, the "realities" of race have changed considerably, and I don't see a reason not to work toward overcoming preconceived views of gender, as well.
  4. by   vivacious1healer
    Female sounding in here.....
    I recall when I was a nursing student, and had the opportunity to observe a surgery on a male that had a testicle torsion. The patient was about his mid-late 20's (about my age), and I introduced myself and asked his permission if I could observe his surgery. He was very laid back and answered 'sure' without batting an eye. Then he went on to explain how this happened to him.
    Well the older RN ( about 60) was in the pre-op room and overheard our discussion. I was pulled aside and lectured on how inappropriate it was of me to ask permission, and discuss this 'type' of surgery with the patient. She went on to tell me " you made him very uncomfortable, and he doesn't need that stress before surgery! you should know better!"
    I returned to the room red-faced, and the patient told me he could hear me being berated, and was trying to reassure me that it was 'all cool. no big deal'.
    That incident was definitely a generation gap.....
  5. by   talaxandra
    Quote from Bhebe55
    I hear women make this complaint all the time:

    men multiple sex partners is a stud
    female is a whore

    they automaticly jump on the double standardc bandwagon but it's their own doing. The reason that idea exists is because women have all the power in most sexual relationships when they say "no" it's no.
    <snip>
    So as soon as y'all women give up the death grip or power y'all have over any sexual relationship maybe y'all won't be seen as just giving your self away all the time. Also in reality the only people that think y'all are "whores" are other women most men could care less or are happy to get some.
    Couple of smaller things -
    1. 'Power' is an interesting word to use in relationship to sex, where men are rarely (though certainly not never) overpowered by men.
    2. I'm pretty sure that when a man says 'no' there's no (consentual, uncoerced or unforced) sex, either.

    And now for the flaw in the argument: you can't have it both ways. By your argument, women have all the power because
    almost any women on Earth could go out and find someone to have sex with them any day of the week. No man on Earth could say the same. The reason we are "studs" is because we have to "earn" for lack of a better word oursexual partners while women are the ones "giving it away."
    That would be power given to women (who are apparently only attracted to promiscuous men) by men (who are apparently indiscriminantly attracted to women). To redress this imbalance, you argue that women should be less discerning and sleep around more, thereby giving up their "deathgrip or [of? on?] power" and that will somehow stop women from being seen as "just giving your self away all the time." So sex with more men reduces the stigma of female promiscuity?
  6. by   talaxandra
    Back to the thread - I have to disagree with baila. While some women prefer female OB/GYN's many women are happy to have male physicians, or are more interested in the calibre of care delivered than in the gender of the person delivering it. While I agree that, as possible, patients preferences should be met, there's no reason why men can't be equally skilled, competent, caring and professional midwives as women. Any unit that uses that aspect alone to overlook a more qualified applicant is behaving immorally and bigotedly, particularly in the 21st century. If my former unit manager could train, and work, as a midwife in the '80s with no problem I think it's deplorable that other men are being told now that it's inappropriate, unworkable or somehow on par with a physical barrier to strong job performance. What a ridiculous analogy!
  7. by   kool-aide, RN
    Quote from talaxandra
    Back to the thread - I have to disagree with baila. While some women prefer female OB/GYN's many women are happy to have male physicians, or are more interested in the calibre of care delivered than in the gender of the person delivering it. While I agree that, as possible, patients preferences should be met, there's no reason why men can't be equally skilled, competent, caring and professional midwives as women. Any unit that uses that aspect alone to overlook a more qualified applicant is behaving immorally and bigotedly, particularly in the 21st century. If my former unit manager could train, and work, as a midwife in the '80s with no problem I think it's deplorable that other men are being told now that it's inappropriate, unworkable or somehow on par with a physical barrier to strong job performance. What a ridiculous analogy!
    very well said.
  8. by   tech1000
    I work in an ED, and generally, males do male foleys and females do female foleys. Obviously traumas are different, but we like to keep it that way. When I worked on a floor, we had a male tech and he gave women baths and I gave men baths. He changed diapers on all his female patients. It was never a big deal.
  9. by   tech1000
    "Try these on for size:
    "I don't want a black nurse." not ok - racism
    "I don't want a gay nurse." not ok - discrimination
    "I don't want a male nurse." oh, that's understandable, and we'll try to accommodate your preferences

    Why is it ok to discriminate based on gender, while it is horrible to discriminate based on other criteria? "

    I had to switch assignments before because of racist patients. They're paying thousands for their care and their caregivers don't need to feel awful because their patient is rude cause of their color... It's not like it happened only once either.
  10. by   remifentanil
    Quote from Doog;1927678[B
    ]I guess my point is regardless of the patients wishes, these female nurses are automatically assuming that we (for some reason?) should not be providing care.[/b]

    Welcome to the wild wild world of nursing. A lot of females do not think we, as men we can control our animal instincts long enough to NOT derive some purient pleasure from slipping a foley into an 80 tear old female with a hip fracture.

    Everyone says it is up to the patient to decide if they will allow a male nurse to take care of them.. OK..Fine..
    What if a patient said they did not want an African- American to take care of them? Would there be such acceptance? Soo sexism is ok but racism is not...


    It really wouldn't be an issue if the patient said they would be more comfortable with a females care, which wouldn't bother me at all, at least I can understand that. I have a big problem just accepting an answer that is "well thats just the way it is"

    You are a student nurse? You might just want to get used to hearing that answer. Many things in nursing are justified by that answer.... it's called nursing dogma...


    If all people accepted that as an answer, women wouldn't be able to vote, and african americans wouldn't have equal rights. I know these examples are extreme but I really hate this distinction that males can only do " ..." while females can do it all. What can be done to change this?
    Good Luck.
  11. by   Luminosity
    As a male that is only looking into a nursing career, this is actually one of the things that I have been weighing. I havent read through all the postings in this thread so please forgive me if someone has already made this point. But for me the main thing about performing nursing duties on a female patient would be the possible legal ramifications. I have had several friends that are in various roles such as nursing, teaching, police, EMT, etc. where you basically have to consider the fact that the person you are trying to help may try to come back later and accuse you of innappropriate behavior. And even if you manage to prove your innocence you still have that stigma attached. honestly, this is the one thing that scares the hell out of me about becoming a nurse.
  12. by   CareteamRN70
    So far I have been lucky. I'm currently a "new" RN and back in my clinicals I was turned away by several patients, mainly during my OB rotation.
    I now work in a LTC and have been getting to know all my patients and letting them know me. I started small with answering bathroom call lights and assisting them with hygiene and normally they were so happy someone actually came to assist them that there was no question of me being male. I always explain what procedure I am doing beforehand if it involves exposing them, peri care, skin checks, caths, etc. Slowly my patients are accepting me. The only time I get a strange look is from the family members, and I believe it is not because I am male, it is because I am new to them and they have been told I am a new nurse so they watch me like a hawk when I care for their loved ones, which I fully welcome. It gets a little tedious..but one patient at a time..one family member at a time..I am winning them over to the fact that I am a nurse who provides good care. Now if I can only get a few of my aides to consider me as a nurse and not as some martian that has started working on their unit I'll be happy.
  13. by   corbinRN
    It's just like any other issue: race, sex, disabilities, age...
    Now that everyone is "treated equal" (which I am glad it is), it seems they overcompensate for the past. Women are now doing jobs that traditionally men do, but Lord forbid someone say something to them; but let a guy do a job that traditionally women do, anyone can say anything they want and get away with it.
    Same with race: how many times have you been to a store where all the employees are of the same race (other than white)? Many times. But if someone hires all white people, it's discrimination. Just my observation and opinion...

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