Male Nurse, Female issues?

POTR · Jun 28, 2010

Dude, the ancient male secret antidote to estrogen poisoning is...

liberal consumption of pickled eggs, green bean casseroles, smoked fish and oysters, stuffed cabbage and curries of any type.

This may not be entirely effective as there are strains of super-estrogen or nursestrogens that have developed some immunity to the product of the antidote.

Or, you can simply state you do not wish to engage in talking about other people.

Mike A. Fungin RN · Jun 30, 2010

Well... some of what you mentioned women talking about (husbands, cooking, etc.) just sounds like normal social behavior to me. I mean... they're women dude. What were you hoping for... dirty jokes, sports talk, and stories about the past weekends sexual exploits? It's not a men's locker room, it's a nursing unit. I'm fortunate that I work on a unit with a lot of male staff so there's a good balance.

As for the backbiting and gossip, no, I don't do that and I don't tolerate others trying to suck me into it. ...and to be fair, some men do it too.

LorderrorproneRN · Jun 30, 2010

god i wish it was normal conversation! i wasn't hoping they shared in the male locker room conversations but i was hoping they would share in what i would consider normal conversation! its fine they complain once in a while, its only to be expected, but i feel like im the dumpster for all that is bad, whenever they have something depressing i would be the first to hear about it. i dont know what it is about me but it seems to draw out those feelings in them! one time one of the nurses told me and i quote "your too happy you know that" i didnt know you could be too happy!!. its fine though i've grown to accept that and let it come in one ear go straight out of the other.

as for the backbiting im the newest person on the floor, so i dont know any of the staff well enough however i find alot of them passive aggressive towards each other, and me included, there are definite clicks on this floor i prefer to remain neutral

anonymurse · Jun 30, 2010

Get an iPod.

Mike A. Fungin RN · Jul 1, 2010

Get an iPod.

Hahaha.

Sounds like a pretty uncomfortable situation. Our day shift is like that. Mercifully, I work nights.

Every unit/hospital has it's own culture. My only suggestion is try to distance yourself from those people and/or practice some limit setting with them, until you can move somewhere else.

caroladybelle, BSN, RN · Jul 1, 2010

Well... some of what you mentioned women talking about (husbands, cooking, etc.) just sounds like normal social behavior to me. I mean... they're women dude. What were you hoping for... dirty jokes, sports talk, and stories about the past weekends sexual exploits? It's not a men's locker room, it's a nursing unit. I'm fortunate that I work on a unit with a lot of male staff so there's a good balance.
As for the backbiting and gossip, no, I don't do that and I don't tolerate others trying to suck me into it. ...and to be fair, some men do it too.

Yeah, that.

When I was one of the few females in a male work environment, I had to hear about the waitresses at Hooters, how hot/airhead the blond was at that site, and how mean the wife was about buying the new golf club.

I do empathize, dude. I am a single older female, that adopted one child that is now grown. If I have to hear about pregnancy symptoms.sore nursing nipples and the issues involving assisted concept (we have 3 of those "participants" on the floor)- so help me, I may run screaming amok. Every lunchtime, I feel like I am stuck with it.

I bring a book and hide during lunch at times. CE articles are always good.

Also remember, at least they are talking to you on a person to person level....which generally means that they accept you as a person and feel "bonded". If they didn't talk like that around you, it would be because there is a "distance".

(Though honestly, there are some days, when I would prefer "distance")

caliotter3 · Jul 1, 2010

Distance is always good. You can then enjoy your lunch, maybe.

LorderrorproneRN · Jul 6, 2010

the only problem with me putting distance between us is when i need help, i mean im just a new grad so there are lots of times where it gets overwhelming and i need to get my act together, i haven't yet needed that help but ive seen lots of new grads get burned out!!!

totallackofsurprise · Jul 23, 2010

Dude, just do what their husbands/boyfriends do... let it go in one ear and out the other. They probably won't notice...

Sigh. I wish I worked on a predominantly male unit... and I'm not a male nurse. I came to nursing as a second career after working in nearly all-male environments (IT) for over 12 years. It was a huge culture shock for me... not an enjoyable one.

Believe it or not, some of us women nurses can't stand other women nurses. And I don't mean that in a catty way, I mean that in a "why on earth do they say/do the things they do??" kind of way. I was so miserable my first year out of nursing school, largely because of the cliquish, catty, gossipy, mean behavior of other female nurses. But god forbid I try to bring up an article I recently read in a nursing journal; that turned into me being a "know-it-all".

When we hired more male nurses I was SO GLAD. Somewhere (maybe allnurses?) I read that male nurses are like the graphite rods in nuclear reactors: they prevent a total meltdown. I never let them know they got to me (the catty beyatchy nurses) but I was SO RELIEVED when they hired a bunch of men. I remember one shift that was terribly hectic (hot summer night, inner city ER, lots of ETOH/ODs/shooting/stabbing/battery) but went so smoothly... at the end of it, I was so relaxed compared to my usual shifts, in a good mood, joking around and friendly even though I was dog-tired, and I was wondering, what was so different about this shift? Then I realized while I was driving home... oh, yeah -- 6 nurses on shift (not counting Triage), but only one female: me.

And for what it's worth, I have several male friends who tell me I'm totally different from other women -- in a good way, they say. My bf says the same thing. Whatever it is, I am not cut from that same cloth. The whole hair/bf/gossip thing is not me; I can't relate to it at all.

PedsRN9999 · Jul 24, 2010

Nursing can be very stressful at times that sometimes there is just not enough energy to absorbe other nurses issues. Just roll with it and brush it off and at the end of the day enjoy driving back home... Good luck.

zombiehunter · Jul 29, 2010

Sometimes it works out well, like when they start talking about their boobs in front of me and do the "well they look better in the bra that makes them do this" *squeezed together*. Other nurse, "what about that bra?" *grabs first nurses boobs*. "Oh, ZH, we didn't see you there." Me, "no...it's cool, very informative."

Seriously though, there are 4 guys who work on my unit of 75 employees. It helps to accept your lot, Rule #32 it, figure out who you can talk guy-stuff with and buy an iPod.