Guys: How do you handle the female aggressiveness/possessiveness - page 2
I am currently 24 y.o. in an RN ADN program. Thing is, I'm in a clinical group with all women....which ain't bad but, some of these women do not get along and i'm the neutral guy who they all seem... Read More
Apr 3, '07yes I love the ladies, they're one reason i chose nursing, its just that butt pinching and sexual comments catch me off guard alot and thats when i sometimes forget where i'm at. Flirting can be disastrous, I work quietly and innocently and try not to ask too many questions to the nurses cause they often "look" busy. Married / separated/ goin through a divorce. I love the hospital and would love to work there once i graduate because i like meeting new and lots of folks. I got married young and now i'm 24 and want to take things easy, I try to be a gentlemen with the ladies but some women confuse it as me flirting when its just me being polite. I'm bringing sexyback to nursing, I'll play there game and take score, i'll keep you guys updated lol.
Apr 3, '07I have YET to work at a hospital that I have NOT gotten slapped, pinched, etc by a female nurse/staff member.....I have yet to complain. And the conversations that occur at 2am by some of these R.N.'s.... It's all in good fun, and I have a open mind and a sense of humor which I think is a MUST in this profession.
Apr 3, '07the conversations that these females have during down time are some of the most jaw dropping, head turning and feather ruffling. I dind't think women had it in them to say some of that. Then they forget you're even in the room, until you start to defend the men they're yappin bout. Mostly I'm just blushing from all the comments/compliments and am forced to sugarcoat everything i say, so i just say thanks.
Apr 3, '07Sorry, I meant "harassment."
Being only 20, I am not experienced with butt pinching in professional settings. Lol
Why do you think these women fail to be concerned about the fact that it might bother you? Do they pinch other guys butts? How about other ladies' butts?
What kind of relationship do you have with those who pinch your butt; close friends, random coworkers, potential mates? Do they know whether or not you are in a relationship with a significant other?
I wonder what their actions signify. Maybe they are attracted to you, maybe they do it to bug you, maybe it is a complement, etc.
I just want to know why they assume that this is appropriate, assume that you wouldn't mind, assume that you would or would not take it as a come-on, assume that you would consider it just "good fun".
I understand that it doesn't bother you, but I just wonder why they feel that it is appropriate. (Personally I wouldn't fight it either lol)
Apr 3, '07no they don't pinch other guys butts, not many of us there, no i dont know these women from anywhere and they dont know i'm married, and doubt if they care. I havent been pinched in 2 weeks, if it happens again then fine maybe i'd take her to dinner. hey guys what do you do when your patients girlfriend undresses you with with her eyes and smiles and winks when you're tryin your best to deliver patient care
Apr 3, '07Quote from William216It must be awful being so hot that everyone wants you, you poor thing. Enjoy it, because it won't last forever. You look the other way, feign ignorance, and concentrate on the patient, sending the chilly message "don't even go there" and completely totally ignore it. Be a professional..hey guys what do you do when your patients girlfriend undresses you with with her eyes and smiles and winks when you're tryin your best to deliver patient care
Apr 3, '07i'm not hot, and don't think everyone wants me, just as many women find me disgusting. its hard to being moral....tweet
Apr 3, '07Quote from William216If you want to be on your best behavior, just imagine your wife's watching what you say/do. :trout:i'm not hot, and don't think everyone wants me, just as many women find me disgusting. its hard to being moral....tweet
Apr 5, '07Quote from William216I was just playing with you.i'm not hot, and don't think everyone wants me, just as many women find me disgusting. its hard to being moral....tweet
Being moral is not hard.
I don't want to sound like an elder statesment, but you are young and it's about 24-25 that most people grow up into their own. We define our own values apart from our parents, but it's not until that age that we stop and think "you know mom and dad were right about a lot of things" and you discard the rest. So as you take a look at what you value in life, what your morals are, you'll find that it's very easy to live them.
Of course the penis causes many a man's morals to be thrown out the window in an instant (think Bill Clinton, think Pee Wee Herman, think televangelists). But the reality is that we male nurses can hold onto our morals and dignity with ease regardless of the situations we find ourselves in.
End of lecture. Gawd I sound old.
Mar 19, '08Working With Women Is A Double Edged Sword. Damned If You Do And Damned If You Don't. Like Johnny Cash You "walk The Line"
As A Married Man Among All The Women I Felt A Certain Empowerment. I Wore My Ring And Spoke Often Of My Wife.
I Say Flirt, Joke And Make Friends. You'll Need The Support And Cooperation To Get The Job Done And The More On Your Side The Better. Most Will Feel Closer To You Because You Act Like A Man And Behave Like A Professional. The Flirting, Like The Jokes And Laughter Are Just Another Way To Bear Up Under The Sadness, Death And Misery We See Every Day.
Enjoy The Female Camraderie , Few Men Have The Chance That We Do To Have Close, True, Female Friends On A Platonic Level.
Mar 19, '08Interesting conversation. I wear my ring and talk about my wife all the time, and most of the nurses have met my wife and commented on how lovely she is, so maybe that's why I don't get the grope treatment.
However, I was once helping to move an elderly woman with dementia from her chair to her bed who grabbed my butt and held on in the process. :stone
Mar 19, '08Women, who have no men around them, will talk about things that will make a trucker blush and a marine lose sleep at night.
Don't be insulted by this stuff. Seriously, I couldn't have paid for this kind of attention in my younger years. To be a bit older now and married and always showing off my ring or talking about my wife and and still get the ass grabbing and the flirting - just makes me feel good. Think of it as some kind of female acceptance ritual. When they let you in on their innermost secrets and you are included in their jokes, you've truly made some close friends. Be thankful.
There are many men who will never know these things. Maybe one day we can all get together and pen an instruction manual for those poor guys who only work with men and will never know what a woman is really thinking!
Mar 20, '08I've read this thread with interest...
I've worked with a few nurses who were also men and cant say I ever knowingly treated them any differently to my female colleagues. men were considered off limits....
I would also comment the the op seems to attract this attention and it doesnt sound that unwanted..
I've hugged nurses both male and female when its all gone pear shaped and awful stuff has happened and we just needed a hug.. is that still allowed?
my advice; be professional. talk about your wife, wear your ring and politely ignore the flirting.
you have made me consider how I interact with colleagues.Last edit by karenG on Mar 20, '08 : Reason: typo!