Guys, do you take this personally?

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    If a female patient wasn't comfortable with a male patient seeing her "woman parts" for a specific procedure or something (and would rather have a female nurse do it), do you guys take it personally?
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  3. 41 Comments so far...

  4. 0
    Should we be expected to take itpersonally, I don't, the patienthas that right. But let's reversethe roles for a moment. There areno male mammographers, no malenurses in post op gyn floors andno male nurses in L&D. At leastfrom a statistically point. Why aremales not given an option andwhy do female care givers take itpersonally.
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    Crusty old bat here. I have had many conscious/aware male patients (in critical care) request a male nurse or physician to perform caths or personal care. . . particularly Sikh and Muslim patients. It didn't bother me to respect their wishes.
    Kandy83, jenrninmi, and TheSquire like this.
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    Do I take it personally? No. It is anoying, and I do then to resent the implication that I am a dirty minded pervert. I do home care, pediatrics, so my patents generally don't care. However the parents are odd sometimes. My favorite is when I'm told "mom doesn't feel comfortable with men in the house at night" in my mind implying that once the lights go out men just can't stop themselves from getting all rape minded. All that being said feelings are, and of a patent or a parent is more comfortable with a female caregiver they should be accomodated when possible.
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    I wouldn't take it personally at all. People have different belief systems and they may conflict with your own. In my opinion its more about them than about you; culture, feelings etc.
    Devon Rex likes this.
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    I don't think my first post gave the right impression. Here's how I feel discrimination in any form is wrong. We may accomodate it, but in the end I resent the general conclusion that gender discrimination is different then any other form. Replace male nurse with black nurse and it's a while different ball game, the same arguments don't carry as much weight. Yes a white nurse would make Mr Jones more comfortable, and it because of his culture that Mr Jones can't possibly tolorate having a black nurse. We would probably accomodate Mr Jones but would feel differently, then if Mr Jones turned down a male nurse.
    juan.ramirez0426 and OmairKhanRN like this.
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    The issue you're describing is gender modesty. Gender modesty is something that is ingrained to some extent in most individuals in our society. There any number of influences, including cultural, religious and things like previous sexual assault, or disrespectful care by previous caregivers, that may make a patient unwilling to accept intimate, or even any care from an opposite gender caregiver. You can't compare gender modesty to racial issues - they simply aren't the same. If a female doesn't want males present during procedures involving intimate exposure, that's her right. Same goes for males not wanting female caregivers present.

    My advice is to get over it. The patient's comfort is far more important than any perceived slight to you. For every patient that refuses you as a caregiver based on gender, there are many others that don't care and have no problem with it.

    A primary function of the nurse's role is to advocate for the patient. If that means arranging same gender care at the patient's request to make them more comfortable, so be it. Wouldn't you rather be seen as a compassionate, caring nurse that tries to make your patients as comfortable as possible than the alternative?

    Bottom line - a patient has the absolute legal right to refuse any caregiver for any reason they choose. Further, refusing a specific caregiver is not the same as refusing care. The facilities only legal options are: 1) accommodate the patient's request, 2) discharge the patient if their condition permits, or 3) transfer them to another facility if it doesn't. You can't legally force a patient to accept care from someone they don't want, and any attempt to coerce them to do so violates all kinds of CMS regulations.
    bdumke5, jenrninmi, and OTAS like this.
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    Quote from sharkdiver
    Bottom line - a patient has the absolute legal right to refuse any caregiver for any reason they choose. Further, refusing a specific caregiver is not the same as refusing care. The facilities only legal options are: 1) accommodate the patient's request, 2) discharge the patient if their condition permits, or 3) transfer them to another facility if it doesn't. You can't legally force a patient to accept care from someone they don't want, and any attempt to coerce them to do so violates all kinds of CMS regulations.
    I never stated or suggested that the patents should not be accommodated. I certainly never suggested that patents be forced to have caregivers who they are uncomfortable with. I am simply stating that gender discrimination is wrong, and until professionals are more vocal at combating it (in non clinical settings such as this one) it will never improve. As I said I don't take it personally, the patents generally refuse all male caregivers, not just me, if it was just me then it's personal. As an exercise replace gender modisty with xenophobia, and see how your post reads. My position is that these thing happen, nurses are refused for all kinds of reasons, I accept that, however in accepting it I don't have to like it.
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    I agree that nurses are refused for all kinds of reasons, and never said that you had to like it. It happens to both male and female nurses, and there's really nothing that can be done to change it. Ultimately, the patient has the say in who will or will not be allowed to care for them. My point is that when this occurs, the nurse has the choice to either take it personally and obsess about it, or ignore it and move on to the next patient. IMHO, the latter is the better choice.

    Quote from big al lpn
    As an exercise replace gender modisty with xenophobia, and see how your post reads. My position is that these thing happen, nurses are refused for all kinds of reasons, I accept that, however in accepting it I don't have to like it.
    Gender modesty is hardly comparable to a deep-rooted, irrational hatred of foreigners. Comparing the two is the equivalent comparing a gender modest patient to Adolf Hitler. I stand by my post in the context in which it was written.
    bdumke5, old_dude, and jenrninmi like this.
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    Quote from sharkdiver
    Gender modesty is hardly comparable to a deep-rooted, irrational hatred of foreigners. Comparing the two is the equivalent comparing a gender modest patient to Adolf Hitler. I stand by my post in the context in which it was written.
    Godwin's law in only eight posts. I will stay away from alagory this time. The dictionary defines discrimination as: treatment or consideration of, or making a distinction in favor of or against, a person or thing based on the group, class, or category to which that person or thing belongs rather than on individual meritPlease tell me how I am wrong in considering the refusal of all male caregivers, based soley in their gender as discrimination. Again I am not arguing that we should change how patent preferences are accomodated, we should always strive to make our patents as comfortable as possible, however let's stop gift wrapping this situation and call it what it really is.
    juan.ramirez0426 and PMFB-RN like this.


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