Hygiene Queen, RN Guide 31,141 Views
Joined Sep 13, '07.
Posts: 2,440 (73% Liked)
We had a funny and charming gentleman who was bopping his way up to the nurses' station. On his head was a sharp fedora hat.
The charge looks up and exclaims, "Well, look at that hat! Hey, are you a detective? You Dick Tracy or something?"
The pt grinned from ear to ear, slapped his hand down on the desk, leans in and exclaims, "Well, I don't know about Tracy but I have the ****!!"
We all split a gut!
Now that everybody wants one, you're feeling the pressure! lol
Reminds me of when I was a kid, as soon as the other kids in my class found out I could draw, I'd get stacks of paper handed to me with the plea, "Hygiene, draw me something!". Problem was that the pressure was too much and I'd never produce a single drawing. I'd totally pray the kids would forget they asked. By the end of the year, I'd have stacks of free paper in my desk, which I greedily kept. Apparently, the only kind of artist I was was a con artist and drunk on all the Mead I acquired, lol.
I don't like the toll it is taking on my mental health.
I spent all day yesterday trying to recover from a shift from hell.
I couldn't wake up.
I couldn't follow conversation.
I couldn't focus to read.
I stuttered so bad and couldn't formulate a sentence that I gave up trying to talk.
My arms and legs still ache and tingle.
I woke up at 0300 this morning and just couldn't get any rest.
Please know that I have always thrived on physical work.
I have always been a role model and very responsible.
I have never shirked any task...
But oh lord!
I don't know how I kept it together last Thursday.
Even the old experienced nurses were ready to lose it and I used up every last drop of energy I had to keep it together, joke and do my job.
I lost it one day at work, some months ago, and I vowed I wouldn't again (and haven't)...
But the mental energy required to stay in control is enormous and is breaking me down.
I won't quit...
I'll keep shoving steel down my spine...
But I won't ever be caught doing this full-time, either.
*Turds perfectly rolled up and meticulously lined up along the edge of the sink.
*The man who dismantled the drinking fountain. He also escaped and was found at the hot dog stand.
*Two room mates chasing each other around and around the nurses' station in their wheel chairs. They were trying to catch up with the other and kept losing the other around the bend. They were also calling out for the other... and they were not using their correct names.
*The strong man who broke the toilet off its base and flooded the floor. His reasoning: "Those horses done run wild!"
*The potpourri that was shaped like a pie. This potpourri pie was found with a hunk out of it. Patient: "That pie tastes like ****!"
*Cranky old bat and cranky old codger loved to harass each other. Both mean as cat ****. Old Bat goes to whack Old Codger with her cane... and knocked the drapes down onto her own head instead. Old Codger delighted.
*Quote: "I'm 83, my mother's 83 and my grandmother's 83! Isn't that funny, honey?!"
*Aide trying to fix paranoid old lady's TV. Patient is worried the aide will electrocute herself. Very worried. Patient explodes: "Don't play with Mr. Electricity, you *****!!"
Oh, I have waaaaaaay too many.
One of my nursing professors told me today that nursing school was harder than medical school today. Mostly because we have to know all those theories and the nclex style tests.
I don't think it was even two weeks. This was my very first CNA job about 30 years ago. It was a filthy and nasty nursing home.
The air in the place was straight up stale urine and feces. The smell clung in my hair and clothes. Foul!
The call buttons and bed rails were caked with dried feces.
I had my purse stolen the first day I was there.
An elderly man fell out of bed. He was just tossed back up in like a bag of trash. No one reported it to the nurse and no assessment for injury done. I was told it was no big deal.
I caught two CNAs making out on the end of a bed.
I was harassed for getting a compliment from a resident who told me I was "nice". The aides (all much older than me) were mocking me like I was in grade school, like "Oooh! Isn't she so niiiiiice!"
The aides lined up on both sides of the hall, waiting for me to walk by (which I was determined to do, though I knew it would not be pleasant) and they proceeded to further mock me and blow straw wrappers in my face.
Oh, but the childish shenanigans continued as a couple of the aides were adamant I should eat this chocolate cake that they brought from the soiled utility room.
Watched the aides loudly make fun of and verbally abuse: an old man who defecated in the shower, an old lady whose breasts were pendulous and tucked under her arms (!) and another lady crying in the tub because she was cold.
Finally, a teeny tiny old lady urinated in her wheelchair. Oh, she was wearing a brief, but it had been on her so long, the urine poured on out over the sides of her wheel chair. I watched this aide scoop the old gal up in one one arm, fling the completely drenched egg crate into the trash and then plop the woman back down in the chair. No, the aide still did not change the brief.
Now, after all the crap I put up with there, that last one finally threw me over the edge. I don't know what the hell I was thinking, but anyone with any sense would have been gone after the first day.
I walked into the ADON's office, handed her my stinky blue smock and gait belt. I told her I'd never seen anything so disgusting in all my life (all 18 years of it!) and I was walking out now (finally!). To this day, I remember her shocked face and still cannot figure out why she would have been shocked. There was no way she did not know she worked for a stink-hole and that the employees were trash.
Well, that was the shortest. Immediately after that, I went to the nicest darn LTC in the world and stayed there for 12 years (and still rate it as one of the best experiences of my life).
I've told some of these stories on here before. Sorry, for the repeat. Also, sorry for the length.
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