backstabbing co workers

  1. how do you deal with a bully co worker that has othe r nurses acting just like her? these women are cruel and vindictive, and go after anyone that displeases them. Im sure this bully nurse has been a bully all her life. her co horts seems to like her and go along with her. the head nurse is no help.in fact no one over the head nurse will help with this either. how do you stop these nasty women. ?
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  2. 51 Comments

  3. by   Tweety
    You stand up for yourself. You call them on every nasty move they make, if they make it to you otherwsie you have to mind your own business. You don't give them power over you. You use the chain of command.

    Some environments are so toxic, it's not worth the effort. I've left two units like that in my time. Fortunately was able to stay in the same hospital. Good luck to you!
  4. by   sirI
    Quote from Tweety
    You stand up for yourself. You call them on every nasty move they make, if they make it to you otherwsie you have to mind your own business. You don't give them power over you. You use the chain of command.

    Some environments are so toxic, it's not worth the effort. I've left two units like that in my time. Fortunately was able to stay in the same hospital. Good luck to you!
    :yeahthat:

    And,to the OP by all means, stay professional, as I know you will.
  5. by   Thunderwolf
    Yes, I can relate. Have one on another shift. All I can say is remain professional and don't play into it as well. Your strength is in your boundary. When the boundary is breached unwantedly, use your chain of command...as well as document. Bullies thrive on "the negative attention" their chaos brings. Remain professional. Bullies eventually hang themselves.
  6. by   DutchgirlRN
    Bullies are insecure people, putting other people down thus trying to make themselves appear better, smarter. Hold you head high, ignore them. They end up looking and feeling like idiots.
  7. by   Hopalong
    Quote from DutchgirlRN
    Bullies are insecure people, putting other people down thus trying to make themselves appear better, smarter. Hold you head high, ignore them. They end up looking and feeling like idiots.
    I agree with most of what you say,except in my experience most never learn to be anything other than what they are- bullies (boy, would I like to call them something else). That said. Sometimes it is very effective to throw a fit and the result is to intimadate them and nullify the control freaks. In other words call them to task and put them on the defense, Coach Lombardi said "The best defense is a good offense".
  8. by   miphillli
    Hopalong...........do we have to confront at the nurses station,or anywhere for that matter,why can't the NM do their jobs and get rid of these bullies???? Any NM out their that would like to comment...Has anyone ever been fired for being mean and nasty to co workers,students,for years and years Most of the long term nurses are wonderful but there is always that group that loves to hate...I had one new nurse tell me she has incountered others elseware just not so many in one spot!
    I want to care for my pt's not fight with a co-worker.:angryfire
  9. by   Hopalong
    You are right. NM's seem intimadated by (darn, I don't know really what to call them) and , therefore, let it slide. But there should be another way for a grieveance to be resolved if the NM won't handle it, That's why I suggested confrontation as a way to bring it out in the open. There's other ways, but I choose this as opposed to leting another of our peers negoiate a settlement, etc.

    I remember once when one of these types was scheduling our shift to accomadate one of her cronies. Finally, after we had put up with it for way too long, I came on one evening, (I had already warned the others involved as to what I was going to do), looked the clipboard with the assignments, slammed it down on the counter, said "I'm going to redo the assignments". Nobody said a word, (except later those in the know) and that BS stopped.

    That's the kind of fit I meant, but you are absolutely right that it should not be needed. Unfortunately, NM's are not capable or trained to manage, which is a shme, also I met some awfully good who handle everything quickly and fairly.
  10. by   nursemaa
    Sometimes the NM has troubling addressing it because the bully is very covert- always polite when the NM is around, less so when he/she is gone. If the person being bullied isn't willing to give specific examples that can complicate things too. For instance, just saying "she's always mean to me" doesn't give the NM specific behaviors to address. However, if the person being bullied is willing to document specifices (e.g. "when I give report, she slams the chart down and yells at me when I don't know something" or "she has called me stupid" or something like that), then these behaviors can be addressed. I know from experience that most HR departments won't accept vague complaints about someone without specific examples. Document your negative interactions with this person and submit it to your NM.

    It's even better to deal with the bully yourself- otherwise you may give them the impression that you're afraid of them and you had to get "mom" to deal with it. Look the bully right in the eye and say "I have no idea why you find it necessary to treat people like crap. I'm not going to put up with it any longer. When you're ready to work with me as one professional to another, let me know". Then walk away. Only speak with this person when you absolutely have to, and if they start the bullying behavior, repeat the above statement.
  11. by   sim
    Hi,

    I have preety much similar situation here. MY tech is a lazy bone( she usually works with me) she stuck with the TV and phone all the times. Nobody likes her . she is putting my patient in a great danger ..by leaving confused pt on a BSC. not going when they call for help.. I told CN . But it did not work . Manager is aware of it.
    I dont want to put my license on risk coz of her . Any idea, suggestion will be highly appreciated.
    Thanks
  12. by   Thunderwolf
    Quote from sim
    Hi,

    I have preety much similar situation here. MY tech is a lazy bone( she usually works with me) she stuck with the TV and phone all the times. Nobody likes her . she is putting my patient in a great danger ..by leaving confused pt on a BSC. not going when they call for help.. I told CN . But it did not work . Manager is aware of it.
    I dont want to put my license on risk coz of her . Any idea, suggestion will be highly appreciated.
    Thanks
    Document, document, and document "objectively" what you witness and the steps you have taken/persons you have reported to up the chain. Objective notes on your part is key, as well as reflecting date, time, and result. Keep these notes of yours safe and make no mention of them until a time comes when you may need to pull them out. Being professional about it is important, or you become part of the problem.

    For example: the word "lazy"...not good, do not reflect that as a descriptor in your notes. Terms like these are Subjective and Judgemental. It reflects only that you have an axe to grind or you have personality differences. Lazy?...what does this mean in objective terms in reference to this co-worker? Objective notes reflect ONLY what you see, hear, smell, or touch, etc....nothing from your heart, soul, or beliefs.

    I hope this helps.
    Last edit by Thunderwolf on Nov 25, '05
  13. by   sim
    Hi Thunderwolf,

    Thank you so much. Will do the same but i was wondering where to chat that ...nurses notes ??
  14. by   LovelyLady01
    Get a small notebook of your own. Note everything on there include times, dates, everyone in the area, everything that was said, and all actions that took place when you deal with these trouble makers. Also make notes of when you go to your supervisor and other people in your chain of command. If you need to take some type of legal action or the situation turns into an HR issue you dont have to try to remember everything in details and you already have everything there with you. It also makes you look sharp. GOOD LUCK!

    :smiley_ab

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