OK we get it STUD, you're straight

Nursing Students Male Students

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Something has been bothering me for quite some time on this forum and I have not known exactly what it was. Well I figured it out and y'all may not like it.

So often when reading posts on the Men in Nursing or Male Nursing Student sections I feel like I am part of one of the most homophobic systems I have been a part of since I left the US Navy.

If I read one more post in which the man feels he must refer to himself as "Normal", "Married", "not one of them", "Real Man" etc. [not kidding, direct quotes] I am going to scream. :madface: You can say it STUD, we get it, you are straight and we're damn glad for you. [better you than me]

One question I want to ask you students is just how the hell do you know for sure which of the guys in your class are "abNormal", "unMarried", "one of them", "not a Real Man" etc. have your instructors had everyone disclose their sexual orientation during introductions? I have seen pretty well adjusted men turn up the testosterone so far when in the presence of a known gay man that they loose all sense and become flaming A**HOLES to prove that they are not "one of them". Not a way to become part of the team sparky.

Let me give all you Normal, Married, Real Men a reality check. The cold hard truth is that there are gay men in nursing. Thank goodness nursing has been a profession that really didn't care one way or the other as long as you were a good nurse. Unfortunately the schools and media in an effort to make sure everyone knows all male nurses aren't gay [Are you man enough campaign?] that it feels like we are being pushed back into the closet.

Last piece of advice and I will shut up. DO NOT ASSUME. I assure you when you meet me you will not know that I am gay; I love NASCAR, Rodeo, Horses, Motorcycles, camping, just like a real man. The only difference is that my SO is a man. The one stereotype I will admit to here is I can be one vindictive ***** and I will not be receptive to your good ole boy jokes or you making sure I know you are not "one of them".

So yes there are more and more men entering nursing which is a great thing, but like any change their will be growing pains, we need to identify them, not sweep them under the rug and hope they go away.

Specializes in RN.
Nicely put! I am 47 and will graduate in December! As I read your post I am now perceiving that there may have been an element of this in WHY I didn't pursue nursing MANY years ago when I knew i wanted to. There were definitely other issues, but this make some sense to and me and strikes a chord...

WOW!!! I hate when people hack up grammar and such...I re-read my post and it drives me crazy!!!!!!!!

What I heard in my head was more like this "There were definitely other issues, but this makes some sense to me, and strikes a chord as well... :-) Good night! Exam at 0800

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My only response would be to advise you to not let your bad experiences let you form a stereotype that all male nurses are going to dislike you for being gay. Several of the guys in my nursing class are gay. Never really had a problem being around or working about gay men. Now I do consider myself close enough friends with some of them that they get teased about things just like I would tease any other guy. My working theory is if you have my back I have yours.

I never thought about it until I read your post but it does now strike me as odd that so many of the guys I work with are into riding motorcycles, and are all into super masculine things. Now granted I think SOME of that is because we work in Trauma/ER which lends itself to a certain type of person, male or female. But yeah, maybe there is a level of subconscious that they are trying to show off their masculinity.

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Specializes in ICU.
The problem goes both ways... by posting this you are generalizing gay nurses (which should just be NURSES the same way str8 nurses are should only be seen ase NURSES) as being feminate and wearing female scrubs.... not the way to express yourself... I am gay, I wear male scrubs, really cool ones with lots of pockets, I conduct myself professionally (thats why I go to the hospital: because I am a health care professional) and I am EXTREMELY proud of being gay, my patients, fellow nurses and employer love the way I am and how I do my job...but I refuse to accept people describing gay individuals the way you just did it... it doesn't make you any better, it doesn't make you any "straighter"...

We should all go the hospital trying to save our patient's lives and improve their quality of life period...but expect us the gay community to take same sh*t that we dont have to take because that is not written in any contract. :down:

I rarely see straight people, nurses or otherwise, go out of their way to make it known they are straight. Believe it or not, but simply being gay is not a big deal to most men. It is when they act in extreme ways is where the problem is. Men talk about other men all the time. We talk about the guy with the mullet, the guy that only owns wife-beater t's, the one with the 70's Media mustache, and such. If we see a guy prissing around, or in women's clothing we talk about him too, gay or not. If we see a woman built like a linebacker, in a flannel shirt and a wallet with a chain, yep, we'll talk about her too. I have worked with several gay men and women over the years. Some nobody knew were gay unless they were told, others you could spot from a mile away. Being gay in the workplace is just like being gay in high school, they will be made fun of, along with everyone else in school that makes it known they are different. It is not strictly a gay thing.

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Specializes in Home Health- LTAC- Telemetry-.
I rarely see straight people, nurses or otherwise, go out of their way to make it known they are straight. Believe it or not, but simply being gay is not a big deal to most men. It is when they act in extreme ways is where the problem is. Men talk about other men all the time. We talk about the guy with the mullet, the guy that only owns wife-beater t's, the one with the 70's Media mustache, and such. If we see a guy prissing around, or in women's clothing we talk about him too, gay or not. If we see a woman built like a linebacker, in a flannel shirt and a wallet with a chain, yep, we'll talk about her too. I have worked with several gay men and women over the years. Some nobody knew were gay unless they were told, others you could spot from a mile away. Being gay in the workplace is just like being gay in high school, they will be made fun of, along with everyone else in school that makes it known they are different. It is not strictly a gay thing.

you dont go to whatever facility is that you work at to talk about people period...and if you do I don't think people will be interested in knowing...BTW people that make fun of other (like for example gay folks) for being "different" should be in the nursing career....that is so old...who told you gays are different ? If you didn't know we are just the same as you are, we just choose to sleep with a different gender and that doesn't affect you.

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Specializes in ICU.
you dont go to whatever facility is that you work at to talk about people period...and if you do I don't think people will be interested in knowing...BTW people that make fun of other (like for example gay folks) for being "different" should be in the nursing career....that is so old...who told you gays are different ? If you didn't know we are just the same as you are, we just choose to sleep with a different gender and that doesn't affect you.

The only people I know of that go to work to talk about other people are comedians and talk show hosts. If a black guy walks by with a Rick James jerry curl hair-do somebody on my floor will make a remark about it, or a male nurse has a Hello Kitty scrub top on someone will make a remark about that too. It is not like anyone sits around and has a protracted conversation about those people.

By the way, like it or not, gay people and straight people will always be considered different. The difference is mental, not physical. If gay people and straight people were not considered different the words gay and straight would not exist to describe the two.

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Specializes in Home Health- LTAC- Telemetry-.
The only people I know of that go to work to talk about other people are comedians and talk show hosts. If a black guy walks by with a Rick James jerry curl hair-do somebody on my floor will make a remark about it, or a male nurse has a Hello Kitty scrub top on someone will make a remark about that too. It is not like anyone sits around and has a protracted conversation about those people.

By the way, like it or not, gay people and straight people will always be considered different. The difference is mental, not physical. If gay people and straight people were not considered different the words gay and straight would not exist to describe the two.

I am donw with you "dude" I have couple of more interesting things to do but I go at peace knowing the majority is not as superficial and couple of other things...have a good one str8 stud ;-)

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Specializes in Psychiatric..

Gay male nurses?????? Hahahahaha in Ireland its taken for granted youre gay if youre a "male" nurse... Ive given up being perplexed by this assumption and just let people wonder.

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I'm new to this website and happened upon this thread. I'm surprised by the number of thoughtful responses, there seems to be a general pattern of mutual respect and introspection here. I think it's important that these kinds of discussions take place in order to increase our nurse like qualities. I did read a small squabble transpire towards the end of this thread. I read a comment that condemned feminine gay men. You know what I'm talking about if you read this entire thread. I would encourage this student to watch the movie Pageant as part of their higher education. I would encourage you get to know an annoying flaming femme or two. You need to understand that some men can't control how femme they are..gay and straight. You need to get those uncomfortable feelings out of your heart if you are to be an inspired nurse that people admire and respect. Good luck!

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Specializes in I can take BP!! lol.

I don't have a problem with "Male Nurse"....I don't care for "Murse" because that is also the short way to say man purse. I think the outside preception is that if your a male nurse something must be wrong with you. Obviously when posting on this forum it is not necessary to justify why you chose nursing, but to most of society, it is still a little abnormal. I think this effects pre req students and 1st semester nursing students a little more than most, and therefore you may see a grater need in that population to "prove" that they are "normal".

I know this much, if I'm a pt I want a GOOD NURSE, male, female, gay, straight, black, white, jewish, gentile or muslim, does't matter.

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I don't have a problem with "Male Nurse"....I don't care for "Murse" because that is also the short way to say man purse. I think the outside preception is that if your a male nurse something must be wrong with you. Obviously when posting on this forum it is not necessary to justify why you chose nursing, but to most of society, it is still a little abnormal. I think this effects pre req students and 1st semester nursing students a little more than most, and therefore you may see a grater need in that population to "prove" that they are "normal".

I know this much, if I'm a pt I want a GOOD NURSE, male, female, gay, straight, black, white, jewish, gentile or muslim, does't matter.

Exactly! A good nurse! That's all that matters.

When I say I'm a nurse, I say it with pride, I wear that title like rappers wear chains. I've noticed it's more the younger crowd that laughs at male nurses. I laugh when they laugh, because I know, the moment they need a nurse they won't say ****! Haha.

Be proud of it and people will respect you. I loved nursing school, great gorgeous girls, nothin better.

See what I did there?...reinforced straightness Lol. Looks like I'm no different.

On a serious note, glad I discovered this forum. Gotta find a job now.

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I think the problem starts when a man or woman gay or Straight, feels the need to shove it down your thoat and start going on an on about their preferences and escapades. I think sex is like politics, don't make it your soapbox at work/school and you won't run into this kind of garbage. I also refuse to live in fear of the PC police so if you ask me a direct question you will get an honest answer that you might not like. It isn't my job to walk on eggshells so some hypersensitive whiner doesn't get offended. I love Jesus, unborn babies and guns. I don't bring it up at work though. If you get in my face about it that's a different story. Don't put it out there if you don't wanna hear about it.

Well said! :yeah:

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Specializes in Infectious Disease, Neuro, Research.
I think the problem starts when a man or woman gay or Straight, feels the need to shove it down your thoat and start going on an on about their preferences and escapades. I think sex is like politics, don't make it your soapbox at work/school and you won't run into this kind of garbage. I also refuse to live in fear of the PC police so if you ask me a direct question you will get an honest answer that you might not like. It isn't my job to walk on eggshells so some hypersensitive whiner doesn't get offended. I love Jesus, unborn babies and guns. I don't bring it up at work though. If you get in my face about it that's a different story. Don't put it out there if you don't wanna hear about it.

Pretty much in line with everything you've said. The "problem" is when one makes their sexuality the core of their identity. Straight, gay, male, female, if what/who you bang is "who you are" there are more serious unresolved issues than superficial social acceptance. A co-worker who has to screw anything female and remotely breathing will receive the same flak as the guy with the lisp, sashay in his step and Hello Kitty scrubs.

Healthy sexuality is an integrated part of one's personality; when one has to conform one's personality to a behavior, it is commonly recognized as a pathology, be it gambling, drugs, or sex. Pretty much the same arguments made in the tats thread. Respect is earned, not given, nor is it given on the basis of non-coherent behavioral patterns. No one has the right to have their predillection "respected".

Having the right to pursue happiness, in private, is generally a given (barring children, most animals and some archaeic laws), pursuing happiness in public means that the pursuit is readily open to criticism based on individual reactions, and social norms.

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