OK we get it STUD, you're straight

[bigrigcowboy]

Something has been bothering me for quite some time on this forum and I have not known exactly what it was. Well I figured it out and y'all may not like it.

So often when reading posts on the Men in Nursing or Male Nursing Student sections I feel like I am part of one of the most homophobic systems I have been a part of since I left the US Navy.

If I read one more post in which the man feels he must refer to himself as "Normal", "Married", "not one of them", "Real Man" etc. [not kidding, direct quotes] I am going to scream. You can say it STUD, we get it, you are straight and we're damn glad for you. [better you than me]

One question I want to ask you students is just how the hell do you know for sure which of the guys in your class are "abNormal", "unMarried", "one of them", "not a Real Man" etc. have your instructors had everyone disclose their sexual orientation during introductions? I have seen pretty well adjusted men turn up the testosterone so far when in the presence of a known gay man that they loose all sense and become flaming A**HOLES to prove that they are not "one of them". Not a way to become part of the team sparky.

Let me give all you Normal, Married, Real Men a reality check. The cold hard truth is that there are gay men in nursing. Thank goodness nursing has been a profession that really didn't care one way or the other as long as you were a good nurse. Unfortunately the schools and media in an effort to make sure everyone knows all male nurses aren't gay [Are you man enough campaign?] that it feels like we are being pushed back into the closet.

Last piece of advice and I will shut up. DO NOT ASSUME. I assure you when you meet me you will not know that I am gay; I love NASCAR, Rodeo, Horses, Motorcycles, camping, just like a real man. The only difference is that my SO is a man. The one stereotype I will admit to here is I can be one vindictive ***** and I will not be receptive to your good ole boy jokes or you making sure I know you are not "one of them".

So yes there are more and more men entering nursing which is a great thing, but like any change their will be growing pains, we need to identify them, not sweep them under the rug and hope they go away.

[metricalpound]

You're preaching about being gay in the same way that you scolded those guys for being straight. The only difference is you're doing it on a forum. Wannabe macho straight guys annoy the hell out of me too; however, gay guys that constantly talk about their sexuality when it is unwarranted is just as annoying.

You're gay, cool. Don't be a hypocrite.

I've been keeping an eye on this post for a couple of months now just for the reasons that you mentioned.

A little background on me - I'm gay, I'm a student nurse and I think I'm pretty masculine (but gay enough to pun on a regular basis ).

Who cares if a guy is into lifting weights, married, looking for a girlfriend - isn't that what some straight guys do? Aren't some straight guys masculine?

I've never ran into a person who says "I'm normal" when referring to their sexuality. I have run into people who talk about their wives, girlfriends, etc. because that person is part of their life - just like I've talked about my boyfriend because that person is such a big part of my life. But never NEVER have I ran into someone that refers to themselves as normal.

The man enough campaign has nothing to do with sexuality but more about perceived gender roles - I'm gay but I'm a man and I am manly. I was in the Army, I'm 6'2'', I carry myself in a masculine manner and talk in a masculine manner, I like to play team sports (although I have impeccable fashion tastes) and I am man enough to be a nurse. I'm man enough to deal with the perceived notion of other people that nursing is only a female job - it's not, it's a job that is for people that care. It doesn't matter if you are a female, male, straight, gay, or whatever.

[PacoUSA, BSN, RN]

Great post, metricalpound ... I would love to see the day when gay stops being perceived as someone who wants to be the opposite sex. Though I suppose that may not happen in our lifetimes. It's funny when some people are surprised to hear that some gay men actually like to be MEN and not all of them are into traditional female interests. So if a guy does not like sports, does that mean he is automatically gay? So if a guy DOES like sports, does that make him automatically straight? If a guy likes to watch America's Next Top Model, is he automatically gay? If he does NOT watch it, is he automatically straight? You get the idea ... That's the problem with our society: most people peghole way too quickly.

[IKnowYouRider]

One of our male nursing instructors 'came out of the closet' (I'm sure there's a more PC way of saying that) during our cultural diversity day. He did this with tact and professionalism which made a positive impression among my classmates (as far as I can tell). Thought that was pretty cool.

[Conqueror+, BSN, RN]

One of our male nursing instructors 'came out of the closet' (I'm sure there's a more PC way of saying that) during our cultural diversity day. He did this with tact and professionalism which made a positive impression among my classmates (as far as I can tell). Thought that was pretty cool.

I understand your post but by doing this isn't he proclaiming "hey I'm different". If someone else says he's somehow "different" they are a bigot or something. It seems a little confusing. Either you are just like everyone else or you aren't. If you are just like everyone else why make an announcement ?

[IKnowYouRider]

I understand your post but by doing this isn't he proclaiming "hey I'm different". If someone else says he's somehow "different" they are a bigot or something. It seems a little confusing. Either you are just like everyone else or you aren't. If you are just like everyone else why make an announcement ?

Perhaps placing the event in context helps. It was during a cultural diversity day. Also, a person wouldn't be considered a 'bigot' for calling him different, they would be considered a bigot if they referenced him in being unequal in some way.

[Conqueror+, BSN, RN]

I completely understood the post when I replied :)

[ImThatGuy, BSN, RN]

I think it would be totally stupid and inappropriate for an instructor to reveal that he's gay by using an academic platform. The same with anything else...chronically depressed, homicidal, doesn't matter. Not his job. Not what students are paying to hear.

[HardworkeRN1234]

I think your professor's move gutsy and great. It was diversity day and he's bringing attention to his sexuality because it is different and guess what? Believe it or not gays have it a little tougher. The rates of suicide attempts/ drug abuse/homelessness for gay men are ridiculous. It should get more attention than it does, but it's something nobody likes to talk about.

But relating to nursing, because that's what this website is about... I dont think anyone cares. And if someone does then they fail.

FAIL!

[cpl_dvldog]

Why is it that homosexual men feel the need to let everyone know they are gay by extremely feminate body language or even wearing female scrubs, but are annoyed when a straight man lets it be known he is not?

There are two truths I have discovered working in hospitals

1. At first sight male nurses are assumed to be doctors by patients.

2. At first sight male nurses are assumed to be gay.

I am NOT a doctor and I am NOT gay.

[PacoUSA, BSN, RN]

Why is it that homosexual men feel the need to let everyone know they are gay by extremely feminate body language or even wearing female scrubs, but are annoyed when a straight man lets it be known he is not?

There are two truths I have discovered working in hospitals

1. At first sight male nurses are assumed to be doctors by patients.

2. At first sight male nurses are assumed to be gay.

I am NOT a doctor and I am NOT gay.

That's a bit over the top ... not all gay men are as you describe above. I know gay men that abhor the idea of wearing female clothing of any kind and actually enjoy being GASP wait for it ... MEN! Gay men are just as much men as straight men are.

[NorCalKid]

I haven't really noticed this. OK I'm still doing my pre requisites but this isn't even something that I have thought about or noticed in my classes. Maybe the forum is different(I'm new here) but in the real world here in California IMO it's a non issue. I think the opinions about males in nursing have changed a lot in the last 10 years. Or maybe I am just to the point that I really don't care what anyone thinks. Or maybe growing up in the SF area it's just a total non issue to most.

[exit96]

A major insecurity about people perceiving me as gay is what prevented me from entering the nursing profession when I was in my early 20s. I made up every other excuse in the world to rationalize why nursing was not for me: I can't stand the sight of blood, I don't want to work long hours ... you name it, I shelled it out. Even though those were not true, it worked to mask the real reason from everyone.

Now it's @ 20 years later and I kick myself a few times a month for being so stupid. Here I am in my early 40's, mature and secure in everything that I am, entering a profession that by now should have rewarded me with 20 years of incredible experience, career benefits and financial rewards to boot. All because I was scared to be perceived as gay. I sometimes feel like I wasted the last 20 years of my life in a career that was completely wrong for me and did nothing to create the image I wanted to portray to everyone. Now I want the chance to start doing what I was meant to do. If I can motivate at least one young man from steering away from the path I took to become a nurse, it will all be worth it.

The day I earn my RN will be the day I recapture my life.

Nicely put! I am 47 and will graduate in December! As I read your post I am now perceiving that there may have been an element of this in WHY I didn't pursue nursing MANY years ago when I knew i wanted to. There were definitely other issues, but this make some sense to and me and strikes a chord...