Marriage and Nursing school ?
- 0Mar 10, '06 by whatmatersHello Everyone!
This is my first time writting on this site so here it goes. I was just woundering if I was the only guy that had hard times with marriage in nursing school?Last edit by whatmaters on Mar 10, '06
- 0Mar 10, '06 by caroladybelleI didn't realize that they held wedding services during classes!!!!!!!
Seriously, are you talking about getting married during school, getting married to a classmate/MD/intern, seeking to marry a classmate, or having difficulties in a present marriage while go to nursing school? It is not clear from your post.
It also might help to elaborate on some of the specifics before we can offer assistance/constructive advice.Last edit by caroladybelle on Mar 10, '06
- 0Mar 10, '06 by AlexandresWell, my wife of 12 years couldn't handle it. So we are currently getting divorced. Had to stop school for a semester because of it, so that added to the bad news as well. It is extremely stressful, especially when you're focused so much on school that you "disconnect" from your family without being aware of it. Good luck.
- 0Mar 11, '06 by lucky4timesoverPerhaps I am off base here, but this is how I personally feel about marriage and nursing school. BTW I have been married for seven years, so I have a little experience with it. Your marriage will make it through nursing school if you want it to. Nursing school is a huge, very important part of your life. However, it is NOT the MOST important thing when you have a family. Yes, you are going to be busy. Yes, you will be stressed. However, your family is going through this with you. Everything is not about the student going through the program. I am currently in semester 3/4 so I can relate to the stress too. I think of it this way. I would never ignore my children for 3 years in order to have a degree, no matter what it is. Yes, my education is important but so are my children so I have to make a point to make a huge effort and prioritize. By the same token I would never ignore my husband for 3 years and expect him to just accept the excuse that I am in school. Either you want the marriage to last and you put an effort into it or you don't put an effort into it and wait and see what happens. Not to make light of it, but everyone has something going on in their lives, it is how you choose to handle it that determines the effect it has on the rest of your life. Also, while a spouse isn't a child they still need attention and appreciation too. BTW I am not saying that anyone is ignoring thier spouse, just the way I look at my personal situation. Also, this would not pertain to anyone who is married to someone who just does not want them to go to school or better themselves. That is a whole different subject.
- 0Mar 11, '06 by AlexandresWhile you make some great points, there are a lot of underlying issues that seem to come up when you decide to take on something like nursing school that may not have surfaced before. For me, I was working full time and going to school full time, so when I was home I needed to study. I did not have that much free time, and sleeping needed to happen at some point.
I was also looking at the fact that if this wasn't going to work now, graduate school was entirely out of the question. This is a very hard pill to swallow if you start thinking that your spouse does not want you to better yourself or the family, as you stated.
That said, I would have stopped nursing school sooner if I knew this was going to be what was going to happen to my marriage. Since it's a moot point now, I am going to make the best out of a bad situation and finish school and continue on to my end goals.
- 0Mar 11, '06 by caroladybelleWhile I know this is a male forum, you will find many women that have marriages/relationships that get rocky or breakup during nursing school.
There are many issues. Part of it is financial strains (money difficulties being cited in many divorces overall). But a lot of it is emotional issues with time and mental/physical support.
You have less time with your SO and they feel neglected. You may be spending less time with the children/friends/family and your spouse bears the brunt of the anger or has to make up for that time, when they themselves are receiving less of your TLC.
And for female students, many have financially/physically supported their spouse in career endeavors, raised the kids and sacrificed to "be there" for the family/spouse. When they go to NS, they expect the same support that they gave previously to others. And often it is not forthcoming. SOs and family can be jealous of "their time" going to nursing school and may sabotage them.
And male SOs may be worried about their wives meeting MDs and leaving them, and female SOs may be jealous over all the cute young women that their husband is spending so much time with.
- 0Mar 12, '06 by AlexandresQuote from caroladybelleThis definitely was mentioned on more than one occasion, as well as deep sighing during study sessions done over the phone. Very frustrating when not based on reality.And male SOs may be worried about their wives meeting MDs and leaving them, and female SOs may be jealous over all the cute young women that their husband is spending so much time with.
- 0Mar 12, '06 by sassy7cassyMy boyfriend very much supports my desire to go through a nursing program, but it'll be rough and I'm not looking forward to it. I'll have already recieved my BA, so for the RN program I'm applying to that knocks a LOT of classes out of the way (it takes it down from about 104 hours to 89 hours) and it's an associates program that takes 7 quarters. That in itself won't weigh on the relationship, but my boyfriend will be pretty deep in med school by then. Both of us being very busy and stressed makes me nervous. I have faith that everything will be ok, but it's still in the back of my head.