Gay male nurse concern about male patient care

Nursing Students Male Students

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Hello everyone!

I will be joining the nursing workforce in a couple of months specializing in urological needs (I am not going into med/surg). As a gay male, I am concerned that some male patients will react adversely when they suspect or realize that I am gay. I understand many patients will not care and will understand that I am there to help them and it is not some sick joke. This is particularly personal for the patient given the specialty (Urology).

I would like to know how other male nurses have handled situations where a straight male patient has refused or made it very uncomfortable for you to do your job. I do not expect the approval of every patient... just looking for pointers on how to manage this type of situation in a professional manner.

Everyone, please tell me what you think or would do. Thank you!

Specializes in CCRN, ED, Unit Manager.

Professionalism, man. It goes a long ways.

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Specializes in CCRN, ED, Unit Manager.
The sad truth is that most people automatically assume males who work as nurses are gay because of the social construct of it being a "womans" job.

Is this a joke?

Some people are blatantly homosexual. It isn't an insult, but there are no shortage of flamboyant homosexual men.

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Is this a joke?

Some people are blatantly homosexual. It isn't an insult, but there are no shortage of flamboyant homosexual men.

No it isn't a joke, and I don't recall saying it was an insult. Sure there are a lot of flamboyant gay men in the nursing profession, however, there are just as many non-flamboyant gay/straight men. My point was that we are still trying to correct the stigma attatched to men in the profession being gay. Because we all know that isn't the case. I'm sure it isn't as bad as it was, say, 30 years ago. But the discrimination is still there. For all men. Maybe more in some areas of the country than others.

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When I worked as an aide, I was given alot of crap about that. Well needless to say I married the charge nurse lol. Anyway who cares what people say, this is a different time gay or straight except it and go on!!!!

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"Anyway who cares what people say," exactly, I myself will be entering this career at an old age. As a male my current doctor is a Female NP, hell I chose her because of her experience, she has poked and probed me quite a few times. Other then the occasional giggle when I whimper she is very professional....when it comes to health I really don't think many people care...your gay who would know unless you got really close and started heavy breathing on the member :) or started fanning yourself with your hand when the patient dropped their drawers (now that would be flamboyant).....lol

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Specializes in burn ICU, SICU, ER, Trauma Rapid Response.
Well congrats. Yoy must live in the most understanding town in America.

*** Hardly. I live in a tiny rural town of less than a thousand people in the midwest. My town is made up of farmers, factory workers and truck drivers. Great people and more understanding that you would think. However I have practiced as a nurse in two countries and 4 states and can count on one hand the times anyone assumed I was a homosexual and indicated it to me.

I think the idea that most or even many people assume male nurses are gay is very overblown. Does it happen? Sure, but I think it's pretty ususual.

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This thread just made me straight...

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I hope you will take a few minutes to read my reply. Honestly, I'm not a male and I'm not gay. I'm a female LPN student and I read this and just wanted to give you my thoughts. I love reading the male section because so many people think it's such a feminin job. But, you know what? You are a beautiful person for wanting to be a nurse and help people. I think you are incredible and are very strong for focusing on what you love regardless of being gay. A lot of people can't do that because they are too scared. I've changed my major twice because I'm overweight... and oftentimes asked myself what kind of patient is going to want a fat nurse. Who is going to take me seriously? Who is going to judge me? Then I realized it doesn't matter. My weight doesn't define me as a person. It doesn't mean I'm stupid or undeserving of this type of job. It doesn't mean I don't have a big heart. I'm just me... I know what I love and I'm going to follow my dream no matter what. If anything, you will be better than others because you will be more comfortable working in that area as straight men might not be. Not every patient is going to love you. Some are going to make you want to cry or even quit. But... it's that one out of 20 who make you smile and make you realize why you became a nurse in the first place. Keep your chin up you will do great! Props to you sweetheart for being so brave.

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Hey, I have a good friend who has a bustling OB, GYN practice, oh she is a lesbian. The best prostate exam I ever got (that sentance has never been written before, ever) was from a little gay Dr. Be the best you that you can be. Some people wont like you if you walk on water and some won't like you if you cant. So who cares, be professional, I mean geeze, a gay guy in a urology office, I think I can come up with a couple of jokes there. Have fun at work.

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Some of the best nurses I work with are gay and I always go to him when i have questions. One especially is probably the most compassionate nurse I'll ever meet and has won back to back awards for positive patient feedback. Patients wont judge you based on your personal preferences, only the outcome of their treatment.. and so should your peers. But it may also vary based on location. I'm in a very diverse area in Ca, it may very well be likely different in the southwest.

Edit: I went back and actually read some of the previous posts. I've never had any issues being stereotyped as a male nurse ever. We have several gay nurses on our unit and it never was an issue. Times are changing, those nursing caps will have their place in history but it definitely is not on my head.

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Hello everyone!

I will be joining the nursing workforce in a couple of months specializing in urological needs (I am not going into med/surg). As a gay male, I am concerned that some male patients will react adversely when they suspect or realize that I am gay. I understand many patients will not care and will understand that I am there to help them and it is not some sick joke. This is particularly personal for the patient given the specialty (Urology).

I would like to know how other male nurses have handled situations where a straight male patient has refused or made it very uncomfortable for you to do your job. I do not expect the approval of every patient... just looking for pointers on how to manage this type of situation in a professional manner.

Everyone, please tell me what you think or would do. Thank you!

Ok, thank you for sharing this. I have a friend.. actually had past tense.. that had a boyfriend and many other straight guys that would come around. Whenever something happened at her house from mild to major, these men would come to me. They knew my orientation, but when it was something going on with their body.. they came to me and asked because they heard I was studying nursing. I always would find it a bit funny because some of these men were extremely homophobic, but when their anxiety level reached its peak, they could care less if I were big bird from sesame street, they BEGGED me to help lol.

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Straight guys don't have GADAR, so without being very obvious I doubt most would even notice. Besides I am sure the idea that all male nurses are gay is still a commonly held belief by many... It is what it is. Going the other way, someone asked about gay patient with straight nurse. If they comment that you are attractive or have a nice bedside manner, just take it as a compliment and say thank you because I am sure that is what they meant it to be. Maybe they are trying to see if you are gay and they are looking. Use a bit of tact but if they are making it obvious and ask, you just need to say that you are not interested but appreciate the sentiment. I have had that happen in the past and just said sorry, I am not gay but thank you for asking. (why I said thank you for asking? because they cleared up any possible misunderstandings and the fact that they asked means they think I am a nice person so its a compliment) In a professional setting, I would document in the chart their words and my response, same would apply to a female patient asking. That way if they are crazy and try and start something or become a stalker or accuse me of something, I have a record of it I put it in my charting that they initiated it and I refused their advance it is CYA

My own take is that I go to work/school to do my job and get educated. I am not interested in finding a date. That is opening Pandora's box as far as I'm concerned, same applies to co-workers.

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