Dating a Doctor

Nursing Students Male Students

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My girlfriend is a doctor. I am but a lowly student murse. This is my confession: My admission of guilt that no matter how progressive I am, I still have an inferiority complex.

Friends ask, "Why would you want to go to nursing school?" You'll never be a billionaire or even a millionaire." For some, my girlfriend included, nursing is a path chosen for those not capable of the rigors of 4 years of medical school.

Just imagine the parties I've been to surrounded by her doctor friends trying to keep a straight face when I tell them my ambition is to be a male nurse. I'd like to go into monkey mode, fling poop and fire insults. "Oh, you're an orthopedic surgeon? Too bad you're ugly and smell like rotten pistachios...

I'm sorry. I'm not even sure what that means.

Here's the deal: I genuinely believe in the nursing model. Nurses have the ability to heal in ways that doctors will never understand. To connect with patients and learn about yourself and your limits as a caregiver. To stare a frightened patient in the eyes and help them find peace in death. Maybe, just maybe i can learn to find courage and grace in the face of death, too.

To my friends: lawyers,doctors, bankers, venture capitalists. I doubt your career allows you to feel the full range of emotions that nurses battle and embrace. From existential crises to manic jubilation at unexpected patient outcomes.

I didn't mess up. I didn't fail. Actually, I'm right where I want to be.

Oh! But she's wonderful! Smart and caring, beautiful and bold. She says what she means and I love her for that. Oh dear God, I love her.

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Specializes in NICU.

I dated a OB/GYN doctor for about 3 months and I never felt inferior. Her knowledge was in women's health and my expertise was in Cardiac. I have never experienced any issues with her doctor friends, they all treated me as an equal.

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You're dating someone who thinks your profession and your work is inferior? No wonder you have an inferiority complex, in addition to your own opinion of yourself and your future career ("I am but a lowly student murse").

What's your beef with your chosen profession? You make a point of talking about being a male nurse as if there's more expected of you because you're a guy. Is it really your girlfriend who looks down on you, or are you projecting your own insecurities?

I also dated a doc back in my single days. He had nothing but respect for my profession and the intelligent men and women who work with him in the trenches on a daily basis. I never heard a disparaging word--nothing about how I wasn't smart enough to get into med school (I never wanted to be a doc, thanks) or how nursing was a fallback for the less intelligent. You're a student nurse. You know how competitive it is to get into nursing right now. It is not for the weak willed or the weak minded.

Nursing and medicine must work hand in hand (no pun intended). Any other combination is detrimental to the patient. Smart nurses and physicians know this, embrace the differences in practice and agree to work together.

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Specializes in Adult Nurse Practitioner.

Your "girlfriend" does not sound very supportive. I would seriously rethink this relationship. The arrogance of many physicians is astounding. If anything, she should be in awe of who you are...the patient advocate and nurturer.

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Specializes in Pediatric/Adolescent, Med-Surg.

Sounds like you need to sit your gf down and have a chat. Explain to her that you have been supportive of her career choices, and now you would like to be treated the same. I work with several doctor/nurse couples including a male nurse/female Dr and these nurses do not feel inferior and are respected by their partner's colleagues.

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Specializes in Critical Care, Education.

Relationship problems do not go away. Rather, those small annoyances in the early phases become gigantic monoliths as time goes on. Just sayin'. . .

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Specializes in ICU.

I think you guys need to have a talk. We all have a path in our lives, and the people you are closest with need to respect that. I personally think respecting each other is the most important thing in a relationship. I was married for 15 years to someone that never respected me. After a while, I began to lose respect for him. I signed the divorce papers a month ago. I am casually dating someone right now who totally supports and respects me going back to school and becoming a nurse. I wouldn't be able to do this without his support. He is my biggest cheerleader and that is what makes us work right now. You both need to be each other's cheerleaders.

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Specializes in School Nursing.

Tell people to kiss your backside. There are a lot of male nurses, I went to school with many, many males as well. Nurses are NOT wannabe doctors... you're right when you see the model, they are completely different professions in healthcare. If all the doctors are motivated by money, and look lowly on nurses, I'd like to know who they are so I never, ever have them as a doctor!

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Specializes in Gerontology RN-BC and FNP MSN student.

Just own where your at and love it!

Self confidence is an awesome and attractive trait!

At times...our own perspective is our worst enemy.

Own it and Love it!;)

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My girlfriend is a doctor. I am but a lowly student murse. This is my confession: My admission of guilt that no matter how progressive I am, I still have an inferiority complex.

Friends ask, "Why would you want to go to nursing school?" You'll never be a billionaire or even a millionaire." For some, my girlfriend included, nursing is a path chosen for those not capable of the rigors of 4 years of medical school.

People that believe that nurses are people who couldn't hack it in medical school always baffle me. How many times have nurses had to catch the mistakes of doctors, apologize for the doctor's horrible bedside manner, or explain everything all over again because the doctor didn't bother to care about what the patient does and does not understand?

Who spends the most time with patients? Who knows the most about the patients, and not just about their body parts or conditions? Who advocates for them when no one else listens? Who teaches them? Who holds their hands when they're afraid of losing everything? When they have lost everything? Or when they've gotten news that life is going to only get better?

Nurses sit with the patients for more hours than anyone. They watch for the small signs that things are getting better, or going downhill, and are the ones that advocate to help.

Any good doctor knows their eyes and ears are their nurses, and they wouldn't be able to do their job without them. Just like a nurse knows their CNA is a vital part of their success.

I still hate that mentality that nurses are just people who couldn't make medical school. I had the grades to make it. I didn't, because I wanted to be a nurse. I would not want to be a doctor, even if the chance were offered to me. If the people around you don't help you see that, you're hanging out with the wrong people.

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Specializes in ER, ICU.

Dude: Buck up. It sounds like most of this is coming from you. Don't use the words murse, male nurse, or lowly. Perhaps because I became a nurse in my 40s, I haven't had the tiniest issue with being male. If your girlfriend doesn't support you, she's your problem not your girlfriend. Are you able to socialize with other groups than doctors? You're a team, you should be socializing with all your friends. Any friend of mine who intimated, or just stated, that I was a fool for helping the sick, injured and dying, instead of making big bucks, would no longer be my friend, just saying. You are right, all those money grubbers will never experience what we do in nursing. Women like a man who is confident in what he does, so leave your doubts crumpled up on the floor. Good luck.

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All I can tell you is how I view things....I'm not overly impressed with people just because they are doctors, or rocket scientists (actually dated one once!) or they make a lot of money, or drive a nice car, or live in a big house, or whatever. I'm much more moved by people who are kind, give of themselves, make sacrifices to help others, etc (e.g., nurses). There is more that define's one's existence than what one does for a living. It's easier said than done, to feel this way, though. But, it is a good way to be if you can get there.

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