Being Gay and a Male Nursing Student

Nursing Students Male Students

Published

I'm aware that the words 'Gay' and 'Nursing' may somehow go hand-and-hand for some, and others may find it comical, but I've found it quite uncomfortable being gay and a male, nursing student simply because people tend to treat you differently-whether that is not being taken seriously or socially treated like one of the women nurses and/or techs.

Although I keep my personal and work life separate and I have a passion for nursing, but many people still seem to pick up that "vibe" then judge me accordingly. Sometimes I feel like I have to work harder than the other students simply because many people tend to associate gay men with a long list of stereotypical humor and cruelty.

If there are any other gay, male nursing students OR Nurses out there, share your coping mechanisms while in class and/or on the job.

So far the only people in my program that know I'm gay is the one girl I went to high school with. She might have told a few of her friends in the program, but they haven't said anything to me or anyone else about it. I'm not afraid to be out in the program (it'd make things a whole lot easier for me) but I have to keep it a secret from my roommate. There's no way I could afford to live by myself, and I don't have anyone else to help me. I don't want to scare him off, in case he reacted poorly. If it wasn't for him, I'd be out and proud. If someone reacted poorly, screw 'em! They don't know what they're missing out on by getting to know me.

1 Votes
RShieldsSN14 said:
Now that I think about it, the women do seem cling to me and entrust me with very personal things. Sometimes too personal! Lol! :))

You too?? I am not even 2 months into my BSN program and already know wayyyyyy too much about those female NS students I have come out to!! I feel ya there!! It's gonna be a looong two years!! ?

1 Votes

When I first started in my program i wasn't sure what to expect from my peers in regards to my being gay. By the end of my first semester i had learned there was 3 other gay males in my class and 9 straight males in a class size of 60. Even though my school is in a very homophobic region of Tx (or that coversthe most ofof the state...lol),my class mates and the nurses i work with in clinicals have all been fine with my sexuality. I find that your competance and confidence are far more important in nursing than your sexuality. Just focus on being the best nurse you can be and your peers will respect you and your sexuality will be the last thing on thier minds

1 Votes

So far so good; floor nurses don't make an issue of it if they are aware since I'm just another student on the unit. Such things aren't discussed with my profs; it just isn't a subject that professionals concern themselves with. As for my classmates; the girls were very interested in figuring me out. I really wanted to keep all aspects of my personal life to myself, but with making friends and helping each other through the program of course it has come up that I am bisexual and have an amazing boyfriend :inlove:. The other male students don't have an issue with it either and I am still just as good friends with them as the female students. I find that if you are honest and unapologetic about yourself then others will often have respect for your surety in who you are.

1 Votes
Specializes in Telemetry, Med/Surg.

I've been a nurse for 17 years, and all of it has been in the South (mostly urban areas, though). When I started, I was still "in the closet" professionally for the first 3-4 years, and it wasn't until I was in a larger city that I was more open about it. By open - I mean, if someone asked, I would answer their question, but it wasn't (and it still isn't) something I broadcast. Sometimes I feel like I'm being treated as "one of the girls," and sometimes I'm not. It doesn't bother me either way, and during all of my time as a bedside nurse, the only overt bigotry I ever received was actually from patients (one using the F-word before ordering me out of the room, another who didn't know about me said she like our hospital best because we didn't have all those Q-words running the place like a competitor) ... but, in seventeen years of nursing, I can count those instances on one hand.

My advice - don't look for instances like that to happen, and if they do: ignore them. These attitudes are dying out and aren't pervasive enough to influence your practice one way or the other. If you find yourself in a really unfriendly environment - find another job. Most hospitals are STARVING for bedside nurses and only care about your enthusiasm and experience.

1 Votes
Specializes in Endoscopy, OR, ICU, HIV, Bariatrics.

I LOVE that I just came across this thread! It's a good point. Coming from a gay male who just finished nursing school, I see my sexuality as an advantage. We usually get along with all the girl nurses. They love to chat and gossip in the break room. Males are key to success in the hospital. We can help transfer heavy patients, provide a more socially acceptable and culturally diverse workforce, have deep discussions with those who are suicidal due to sexual orientation or issues that affect the community (HIV, syphilis, homelessness, etc), work in OB or other areas in close quarters with female patients without hesitance...it's a gift!

With this said, I never directly "come out" since that is unprofessional. Maybe it would come up when going out for drinks after a shift, but that is outside of work. Always remain professional, yet yourself. You should not be required to be someone you're not. Many of my coworkers (especially managers) are gay males creating a accepting environment. While everyone "knows" it is not something to be discussed in the business place.

1 Votes
Specializes in Critical care, Emergency.

Being gay has never really been part of my professional life and I don't think any of my patients care (not that I tell them) as long as they get the care they need. That being said, I am totally out to everyone and will disclose it if someone asks, me and my boyfriend's pictures are all over Facebook. Now comes that one co worker who has issues with that and gets really preachy to the point where it becomes offensive. That said co worker has long been fired for his unprofessional conducts but the moral is that some people will always judge and you should be ready for that. I am proud to say that I am a totally badass nurse and have been recognized by my patients and co workers for the work that I do. Just be the best that you can be and that will measure how good of a nurse you are and not your sexual orientation/race/religion/ whatever separate you from the "norm".

1 Votes
Specializes in Intensive Care/AG-ACNP Student.

I am about to start the upper-division program, and I must say that almost everybody in our class are going to be great as far as my orientation. Considering almost one-third of the class is in fact gay. I am also working on a unit as a nurses assistant and everybody in the unit has been great. Although I have not told anybody, almost everybody seems to know despite my non-flamboyance. None the less, everybody has been wonderful!!

1 Votes

I'm a fellow homosexual, as well. With that being said, you can't harshly judge me for this answer. It is nobody's business but your own. If somebody does ask, then why would you risk people getting ****** off or flying off the handle. And possibly create unnecessary gossip? It is to be made nobody's business even if they do ask. Education in this field is basically like going to work, and personal life/issues/trends need to be kept out of the workplace. It makes for drama and other unnecessary drama. So you are proud of yourself, good for you! Heterosexuals don't go around saying look at me, I'm straight! Eh hum, most of the time. Worry about yourself and make your business nobody else's. You need to worry about your education and not about making best buddies. It can befuddle you, if you get mixed up in all of the adolescent conversations. Once again, that's not what you are there for! Buck up, and stay on your hustle, or get lost in the flow! The choice is ultimately up to you. You care what others think way too much, right?

1 Votes

If so, get ready for for a world full of gossip and un-easing rumors. Nursing is not the right career for you if this is how you feel constantly.

1 Votes
Specializes in Dermatology.

Hello all,

I have been in Healthcare for about 8 years. Have worked in many different areas and my most recent was HIV research. I found it to be the hardest area; I had a lot of the ladies and patients assume my HIV status because of the work I did. But in general, I have never had any problems with being a male nurse! I love it and enjoy my job so much, everyone always says I am amazing at my job and strive to be amazing. ;)

1 Votes

Current nursing student here with his 2 cents:

Frankly, I really don't care about orientation at all (in either of the genders/sexes). I prefer to let ones deeds, empathy, and all the other amazing attributes one possess to define them as a person. In our class of 160 or so there are 15 men and I know a couple of them are gay and frankly I could care less about this fact. The way I look at it is we are all 'Men in Nursing' and we all have to support one another to show that men can be amazing nurses!

1 Votes
+ Add a Comment