A "dating female students in your class" post

Nursing Students Male Students

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Well, having just completed my 1st semester of the nursing program, I have found that as a single guy, you are really in (at times) a very weird catch-22 being in a female-dominated student body.

Although I definitely do not complain about the female-to-male ratio, I have learned - the hard way, really - that trying to date one (or, god forbid, even more than one) of your classmates can in many ways be a disastrous decision. Because even though you will likely interact with your female of interest every single day at school, that still doesn't change the fact that you still have to stay focused and on the ball if you want to succeed in nursing school. At one point, I thought that because we were both in the same program, at the same school, etc. it could still work - but man, that just hasn't necessarily shown itself to be the case, in my experience. You simply cannot have your head in the clouds and still do well academically. I would love to be proven wrong on this, but I'm hedging my bets carefully from here on out. It's hard sometimes, trying to find that balance - because even though I'm relatively young (29), I'm not going to pretend that I want to stay single forever - but I definitely don't want to risk losing my "edge" with my studies.

Any other guys experienced anything like this?

Specializes in RN-BC, CCRN, TCRN, CEN.
Do it...

Well, I guess you could say I "did it"- started hanging out with her as friends and whatnot, then one of my a**hole friends came along with us one night and started hitting on her. She got wasted and they kissed and apparently did some more after we all went back to one classmate's house (they did it in our classmate's 10 year old son's bed since her kids were gone for the weekend.).

Now I don't talk to her at all. She tries to be all friendly but as far as I know they're seeing each other now. Whatever. Am I a terrible person if I hope she gets pregnant and can't finish school??? But its okay, because if she's the type of girl to give it up to some dude 8 hours after meeting him then I don't need or want any part of that.

That being said, I honestly can't find time to add in a relationship without further sacrificing work, school or sleep. What little time I do have goes to myself and hanging out with friends, just as a way to relax and get away for a bit.

How's everyone else doin?

Specializes in burn ICU, SICU, ER, Trauma Rapid Response.
I wouldn't want to be in a relationship just for sex :-( Nope not me! But, again, I'm just stating my opinion :-D

*** Uh, what other reasons are there to be in a relationship?

Specializes in RN-BC, CCRN, TCRN, CEN.
*** Uh, what other reasons are there to be in a relationship?

I'm with Kendel. There is more to a relationship than sex. I don't have sex because it only seems to make relationships worse... It might feel good at the moment, but, as we've all learned in anatomy and pathophysiology, the hormones released with the act results in such a deep bonding that should only be saved for, in my case, marriage. When a woman feels this way and the man is just looking to 'get some' this creates problems.

Just my :twocents:

Whatever. Am I a terrible person if I hope she gets pregnant and can't finish school??? But its okay, because if she's the type of girl to give it up to some dude 8 hours after meeting him then I don't need or want any part of that.

How's everyone else doin?

I don't think it makes you a bad person at all. You had feelings for her, and you got hurt, bottom line. It's good though, you learned that she in fact didn't have the same feelings towards you.

In my experience, the whole 'be friends' thing is sometimes necessary, but usually ends in failure. The Friend Zone is a very real thing. Girls usually don't have romantic interests with people they see as brothers.

It may have been a smarter move to not involve another dude when you went out with her (no offense of course), but you don't need a girl that like her anyways. Imagine what their story would be like when people ask how they met. Classy.

"disregard women. acquire currency."

that will be the best advice ever given in this thread.

you're there for studies, not random hookups. the instance you take your eye off the prize and start looking at someone else's prize is when you get sunk. do not go into the friend zone. when she starts crying about how her bf cheated on her, don't be all comforting and supportive hoping that will get you rebound love. be like "i'm pretty sure he probably had a good reason for cheating on you". she'll want to kick your ass but only for a day or so. it shows no matter how nice you are to each other, you're not that shoulder to cry on. keeps your area drama free.

Common guys, i know that its often a shock to be around so many girls but lets be honest, most [if not all of us] knew we [as guys] were going to be hugely outnumbered when we chose to do nursing. I personally view off of the girls in my class as my sisters, i respect them and they respect me.

"disregard women. acquire currency."

that will be the best advice ever given in this thread.

this guy knows what he's talking about.

I'm female I'm reading this and it's interesting . I've seen flirting, but the joking kind

I would never think there would be dating if you're in the same nursing class! but my class' mostly around 35/45's y/o.

If you're going for classmates, if something happens, you're going to see them every single week and... sick of seeing the same drama creating classmates in teh first place anyway. All the fish in the sea... is not limited to one classroom

Watching House MD, every time when they get into relationships with coworkers it caused job loss/quits. lol

Maybe it applies to work, but in classroom situation it may happen, I can't say it's definitely wrong, but I wouldn't promote dating fellow nursing students. Dating in general yes, but it's up to you, with all the work, it could be hard if she doesn't understand or support you

Well, I'm not in Nursing school yet (applying to my first school in May) but I will say that when I am, I am curious to see what all the (alleged) female attention will be like though. Like someone else said in this thread I will not follow Nike's slogan of "Just do it" and instead take an "eyes on the prize" mentality, that of graduating. I want to go Military Nursing when I'm done so I won't have any time for any distractions that could intervene with my academic success.

I had a huge crush on a girl in my class for almost 4 years, but was afraid to ask her out, because I thought it would be weird if we ever broke up, seeing as how we spent 5 days a week in class together, and had a lot of the same friends. I finally got up the courage to ask her out, and 3 weeks in, she broke up with me. Needless to say, my fears were confirmed, and it was extremely weird until graduation. However, I believe you CAN have a relationship with a classmate, as long as you can maintain focus, and remain friends if and when you break up.

I think I just might be setting myself up for the same thing. I just realized that I have a HUGE crush on a girl in my class. We were in the same clinical group in winter term and at first i didn't think much of her. But we did spend a number of weeks together, talking while in our group and on the way back from out clinical place and i felt very comfortable talking to her, confiding about school, etc. But then something happened, I started thinking more about her after our class ended. And now we have summer class together and just as I realized my feelings for her I also find it's very hard for me to approach her in the same easy-going manner. I find myself constantly stealing little glances at her during class while she is not looking and things are really getting out of hand for me, emotionally. Its like some sort of glass wall went up between us. I hate myself because it seems like my secret crush has made it that much harder for me to even bring up any courage to even talk to her, while it seemed so easy earlier. Another thing that broke my heart was that we got split into different clinical groups this time around so likely I won't really see her until September. Being in a small clinical group is so much better than when in a huge lecture class where I usually see her from afar and she is always surrounded by her friends. And I just feel that over the long summer I will psych myself even more, putting her on virtual pedestal in my mind (as I did with all my unrequited loves :( ) Please, somebody is there any way for me to fix this? Do you have any mental tricks, emotional blocks? If only I could somehow make myself fall out of love so that I could be able to talk to her more easily without my heart feeling like its going 100 mph. And then only fall in love when I feel we are more closely acquainted or even some mutual feelings exist. Oh who am I kidding. Now I'm really depressed and my impending much dreaded hospital rotation isn't making me feel any better. AND I really don't want to carry this crush for the next 3 years, especially seeing her in my classes all the time, that would make Nursing School into HELL

I think I just might be setting myself up for the same thing. I just realized that I have a HUGE crush on a girl in my class. We were in the same clinical group in winter term and at first i didn't think much of her. But we did spend a number of weeks together, talking while in our group and on the way back from out clinical place and i felt very comfortable talking to her, confiding about school, etc. But then something happened, I started thinking more about her after our class ended. And now we have summer class together and just as I realized my feelings for her I also find it's very hard for me to approach her in the same easy-going manner. I find myself constantly stealing little glances at her during class while she is not looking and things are really getting out of hand for me, emotionally. Its like some sort of glass wall went up between us. I hate myself because it seems like my secret crush has made it that much harder for me to even bring up any courage to even talk to her, while it seemed so easy earlier. Another thing that broke my heart was that we got split into different clinical groups this time around so likely I won't really see her until September. Being in a small clinical group is so much better than when in a huge lecture class where I usually see her from afar and she is always surrounded by her friends. And I just feel that over the long summer I will psych myself even more, putting her on virtual pedestal in my mind (as I did with all my unrequited loves :( ) Please, somebody is there any way for me to fix this? Do you have any mental tricks, emotional blocks? If only I could somehow make myself fall out of love so that I could be able to talk to her more easily without my heart feeling like its going 100 mph. And then only fall in love when I feel we are more closely acquainted or even some mutual feelings exist. Oh who am I kidding. Now I'm really depressed and my impending much dreaded hospital rotation isn't making me feel any better. AND I really don't want to carry this crush for the next 3 years, especially seeing her in my classes all the time, that would make Nursing School into HELL

I think you have to decide which could be more painful: a) avoiding attempting to progress with your crush, or b) Let's say you "get with" (for lack of a better term) your crush, and then you two split 4 months later. You're stuck with her for the next 3 years and you'd probably be ostracized so to speak by the other girls in your class. Someone else on this thread called it "branded" I think; in other words you could probably kiss all attempts at getting with another girl in your class goodbye.

Female opinion here... I'm a nursing student, and at my school we have nursing students, med students, pharmacy students, etc. who all share the same building together, so there's a lot of mingling of the groups. I met and dated a medical student for a few semesters, but it didn't work out and we broke up. But, we still share the same building, so whenever we see each other now, needless to say it's incredibly awkward!!!!

I would recommend staying away from dating your fellow classmates. It's hard to reject your feelings, but what what is really more important? You're there to study and get a degree, leave all the drama out of it. If things turn sour, you also run the risk of turning some of your classmates (her friends) against you. If you want to date that special someone in your class, wait until you graduate or your last semester.

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