Listen, before anyone's feathers get ruffled. Understand that I know we are ALL nurses and would never consider myself 'better' then another human being just because I have 2 letters after my name instead of 3.
However...Why does it feel as though I am being castrated for having the RN after my name instead of LPN. Today, I worked a midnight and the day light LPN came in in a fowl mood as she always does. She points out every mistake, every error, every little tiny detail that dosn't specifically meet her dramatized standards. Shes gone as far as to report me to the DON and ADON for not filling humidifiers which is EVERYONES job not just mine. So my boast? Why didn't she do it? As it is not just the responsability of midnight but of all shifts?
Anyway, she always has an attitude, everyday without fail. She has mulitple times said in front of me 'I used to work midnight, I'll just go back and put SOMEONE out of a job' and 'Well, looks like I will have to do A. B. C. and D. because no one can seem to do it right.'. Its degrading and she dosn't care at ALL whom she says this in front of.
Being that I am new, I don't know what to do. I've gone to my ADON and was met with 'well, thats just how she is.'. I'm affraid to stand up to the LPN because she has black balled many RN's before I walked through the doors. Actually she was souly responsible for terminating 2 RN's since I have been there and I have only been there 5 months.
A part of me really wants to throw in the towel and quit. I feel stupid every day and it dosn't help that now my ADON is making comments to me about the census and not being done the way she wants it and small nit pick comments such as 'Well, IDK about YOU but when I went to RN school I was taught times matter!'. EVERY PERSON IN THAT FACILITY WRITES '9p' over and over and over if giving the 9pm dose! No ones writes '9:12' or '9:24' we all just write 9!
I can't tell if my skin needs to get thicker, or if I really do have a problem. It seems every morning I am in trouble and my stomach just flips the moment I see the LPN walking down the hall. Even worse when I see the ADON. As a new nurse, I barely have any confidence as is and today really just wanted to toss my hands in the air and say 'Screw it! Here is my two weeks! I'll call off for the next 10 days and we can just be done! Thats what you all want is'nt it?!?!' Unfortunately I am pregnant and this facility has promised to work around my pragnancy.
I guess I just need sme advice, keep my head down? Start fighting back (which I am telling you won't work), go higher? To administration? To the company? Plus today didn't help as I made my first mediciation error and gave Xanax instead of Ativan! I am so distraught about it I want to just cry. Of course, Mrs.HappyI'maJerk LPN caught it and HAD to make sure everyone knew. I was completely mortified. I sat at the front desk calling family and doctors near tears the whole time only to have a doctor tell me 'its not that big of a deal, just watch her' and I asked 'But its a narcotic??' he said 'Yes, but from the same family. It happeneds, its ok'. I felt as if this resident was going to DIE the way she acted.
I'm very scared to go to my administrater. I know she will back me, but how can she? They wrote me up over and IV mistake that I didn't do because the ADON and superjerk LPN told me to do it a certain way! Then reliquished when they realized they were wrong and hung ME for it. Now the narcotic error? How can the Administrater defend me even if she wanted to?
I don't want to be them, bitter nurses who complain about the smallest mistake. I don't want to become them and I feel it. Its making me so bitter toward LPN's and I never want to be that way. IDK what to do.
