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Public | | Entries: 1419 (Private: 50) | Comments: 3200 | | Start Date: Jul 02, 2005 | Last Update:
Nov 11, 2009
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| | Description: Just letting off some steam....
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| Veteran's Day | | I was supposed to have this day off from both jobs, but yesterday, the father of the little boy I've been working with called and asked if I could possibly come in for just 3 hours and he'd pay me for 4 as holiday comp. I said I'd do it. Then last night I got a call that the person who was supposed to do the first edit on a project we're working together on couldn't do it and needed to switch. I said I'd do that, so now, I ended up working both jobs. I will take time off tomorrow or Friday as comp, though. I had already promised Nick we'd go to a pizza place he really likes today, so that has to be worked in, too. It is 20 miles away, but the opposite direction from my autism consultant job. Of course! Why would it be anywhere close? And the toilet in the back bathroom is broken. I woke up last night to what sounded like a sprinkler gone awry, except I could tell the sound was coming from the house. The assembly inside the tank needs to be replaced, so it won't be an expensive repair, just another pain in the neck! Sigh...
Thank you for your comments yesterday. As Nick approaches adulthood, my own priorities are changing. One of the reasons I took on the second job is to get all my bills paid down, primarily because of job security concerns, but also because I realize I am about to have more freedom than parents of school aged kids have. It is time to get a little selfish and do what I want to do for a change. That part I'm looking forward to, some of the uprooting that's going to be necessary, not so much. | | Trouble on the homefront | | | Dh said something to me last night about "in a few years" and all I could think was that hey, our son is about to turn 18; I really don't think this marriage will last much past then. And I wish I felt sadder about that, but in reality, it just feels like a matter of fact thing. We tried, but this just isn't working. I don't feel respected or cherished and I deserve to feel both. And believe me, I am well aware of where he feels our marital shortcomings lie. Something tells me that this next year is going to be full of change for me... | | Senior portraits | | So...
We got a notice in the mail early in the summer that we should schedule a photo session for Nick at Keane Studio. This notice said the sitting was free. Because I am very disorganized and scattered, it took me until a few weeks ago to schedule the appointment. When I called, I got their machine and left a message. It so happened dh was home when they called back and I wasn't, so he scheduled an appointment, giving them a credit card # for the $42 sitting fee. "Say what?", said I, because it was my understanding that the session was free. It turns out that there is no fee if you are just going to use the picture for the yearbook, but if you plan on buying a package, then the fee applies. Seems to me that given the price of the packages, the sitting could be thrown in for "free", but I digress...
Just my luck that they sent the proofs to choose a shot for the yearbook and they were terrific. This guy does awesome work. Especially given that dh hadn't told them our son has autism, so the photographer had no idea why Nick was so stiff and needed extra coaxing to get some nice shots. I was so grateful that he gave no indication that the session was anything but a typical sitting with a 17 year old, even though I knew there's no way he couldn't have been thinking, "hmmm, something's different about this kid". So, I went from just choosing a single pose for the yearbook, which wasn't supposed to cost anything and the fee for which I probably to going in this morning to order photos and discovering that the package which offers the best value is $695! I had gone in there expecting to spend around $300, because their website says that packages start at $195 and just figured I'd probably want to add a bit to the most basic choice. So, damn, I'm hit with another huge expense I haven't budgeted for, but you know what? If I can give the city of Carlsbad $300 for some bogus traffic violation, I can certainly justify spending $700 on pictures that my family and I will cherish for a lifetime! As I was driving home, thinking about how to break this down to dh, I decided that we can forgo the prix fixe dinner we'd planned to indulge on this month at our favorite steakhouse (savings=$100), the balance pod shoes I'd planned to buy for myself ($200) and lunches out for the rest of the month (around $100) and I've got the additional expense covered. Dh may be just fine with it, or he could carry on about it, I'm not sure. It doesn't matter, this is the package I'm getting and I'm happy about it- just a bit in shock is all! | | Calf reduction surgery | | | Back in September, I had a muscle tear in my right calf and went to see a doctor. Since it was an urgent visit, I saw the doctor on call, who isn't my PCP. I know this guy didn't mean it the way it sounded, but when he went to examine the injury, he said to me "your calves are enormous." His next question was "are you an athlete?", so I know he was remarking on the fact that I do have very muscular calves, as opposed to making a crack about my weight, which is what it sounds like taken out of context. I grew up in the mountains and have walked, biked and hiked my entire life, so it isn't the first time someone has made a variation of that remark. Still, it is kind of an ongoing joke in my family now. Every time someone annoys me, I say I'm going to kick their butt with my enormous calves, or some such nonsense. Tonight, I said maybe I need calf reduction surgery and my son decided to google it and see if there's any such procedure. It turns out there is. Supposedly, Asian women in particular are often unhappy with their short, muscular calves and so this surgery was developed in Korea. What I don't understand is why. I am actually rather happy with my distinctive calves. I'm certainly not going to go under the knife to have part of them removed! | | Speaking of curiosity | | | Earlier this year, records for a family with whom I worked in 2007 were subpoenaed. Since our legal department handles all that, I wasn't told much about it at all, just asked to walk the attorney through what some of my notes meant. We're not being sued and there is no problem with my records; the lawyer told me that the subpoena was issued on behalf of the defendant in a lawsuit and that was all I knew. I suspected. based on the child's diagnosis, that an OB was being sued for malpractice and that was partially confirmed today when the defendant's counsel sent us a letter asking to see our billing records. We just sent the letter over to legal, but without a subpoena for that, too, there's no way they'll get them and no way they'll be of any assistance, anyway, but I digress. Since the physican's name was mentioned in this letter, which should've been addressed to our legal department but instead came to our office, I was able to look up the name and specialty. It turns out its a neonatologist, not an OB, that is being sued. I just hope to God I don't get a witness subpoena. | | Stalking or curiosity? | | I have a habit of looking people from my past up on the Internet. Not just old boyfriends, but old friends in general. I have 2 friends who insist looking up your ex on the Internet is stalking. How could it be, if you make no effort to get in touch and in fact, aren't even interested in getting in touch? Is it really so odd to wonder about the paths the lives of your old flames have taken?
One thing that does make me feel almost happy is that one of my old boyfriends married a woman that looks a lot like me. So, whatever other problems we had- and we had plenty- at least it wasn't that he didn't find me attractive. He ended up divorcing her, though (I'm not stalking her, too; I already knew her, but didn't know they'd gotten married until I looked him up online). As a matter of fact, both of the really serious boyfriends I had and 2 of the less serious ones are all divorced. So, to the extent I may have ever wondered "what if", I know that chances are it never would've worked out (which I guess I should've already figured out, seeing as how IT ALREADY DIDN'T WORK OUT, lol!) | | November already! | | Things at work have been very hectic this year. We were so threatened by the state budget crisis and did have a couple of layoffs. I feel like I literally hung on by the skin of my teeth and don't know what next year will bring. Therefore, I decided I needed to earn some extra cash and took on a part time job as an autism consultant. I work with a 7 year old who is quite involved, and the family dynamic is challenging, to say the least. It is interesting, to be sure, but between packing up the slack at my main job due to a reduced workforce with no corresponding reduced workload and taking on the extra position, I am overwhelmed.
It has been a rough year. I had some banking issues in the summer and they set up a chain of robbing Peter to pay Paul. Just as I had that sorted out, I got a traffic ticket and then hit with all the senior year expenses from my son's high school. I honestly don't know how I'd have paid for everything without the additional income. I don't understand how families that I know for a fact make much less than ours seem to manage their finances so much better. It isn't as if I buy loads of clothes or drive some big fancy car. We do live in an expensive area, but on the other hand, that contributes to wealth building for the future, or so I hope. The area where we do need to cut down is on groceries. Both my son and my husband eat a lot, which wouldn't be bad if they'd stick with what I buy at the store. Any time I'm not home by what they think should be dinnertime, though, my husband goes down to the gourmet market that has wonderful (and expensive) food at the deli or orders out for them. I'm really unhappy with that. To tell the truth, I have some real concerns about how much longer this marriage is going to sputter along. It isn't just that we totally disagree on how to spend our money. Over the years, I have asked my husband at least 100 times to not take laundry out of the dryer if he doesn't have time to fold it and put it away. What happens is that he throws it in a basket without telling me "oh, there's some laundry that needs to be put away" and then dirty clothes get thrown in on top of it. Or, he'll leave them on the sofa, thinking that I'll see them and because I have so much spare time of myself, will fold them and put them away since he is just too God awful busy to do it himself. Nick comes home from school and is completely oblivious, sits on the clothes and they end wrinkled up in a ball.
It makes me crazy. I know it sounds like a petty thing to end a marriage over, but in reality, that's not what the issue is. Its that I live with a man who is so disinterested in my feelings that he can't be bothered to do a simple thing like living the effin laundry in the dryer if he doesn't have time to deal with it! At least that way, I know what needs to be done with it! And the laundry is just an example. I've told the story about the garbage in the sink; he also leaves beer cans and water bottles anywhere they land, including on the floor, etc. I am so tired of knocking myself out for the betterment of this family and my husband behaves as if he is one of my children. Even to the point of insisting on calling me "Mom", which I also hate. It is so identity robbing, as though my only purpose in life is maternal in nature. I HATE IT!
Funny thing is, I didn't intend this entry to take this direction. I spend some time on facebook, but always have to be careful what I post there, since my son is my fb friend and since some of the people I work with are there, too. I think I just needed to post all of this. I am doing so while Supernanny is on in the background and the family profiled has a husband and father who is quite clueless. The day Supernanny was there to observe the family, the Mom never did get to sit down and eat dinner because she was so busy fixing food for the family and answering the phone for her husband's plumbing business. At 11 pm, he actually said to her, "why don't you take a break?" At 11 freaking pm, it isn't time to take a break, it's time to GO TO BED, for the love of Mike! And of course, why this makes me so emotional is that it all hits close to home. | | Prematurity Summit | | Even though it isn't my field, I went to a Prematurity Summit in Sacramento yesterday. It was very interesting to hear about the directions some of the research is taking. One of the presenters brought 2 pathology slides; 1 was from the placenta of a Mom of a preemie and was shown side by side with that of a baby born at term. Really interesting.
I am having the worst hassle with my bank. I'll be lucky if my credit rating isn't shot by the time this is all sorted out. Suffice to say that if you have Chase Bank (which I do by default, since they bought Wamu), I warn you to walk, not run, to the nearest exit with all your assets. I don't have that luxury, since they've been bouncing my checks all over town (the funds were supposed to be withdrawn from the new account) and I can't leave until I recoup all my merchant fees from them.
Nick seems to finally be over his cold. It kept coming and going. I'd send him to school and he'd come home, saying that teacher or an aide told him he should be staying home. And yet, when you keep your kids home more than the school thinks you should be, they send you most unfriendly letters. I understand why they want kids in school, especially since they don't get any $ from the state on days kids are out (which doesn't make as much sense as it might seem to on the face of things. Teachers and overhead still have to be paid, whether kids are there or not.) I don't understand why they think a few sniffles and a cough warrant an approved absence, especially since it was school where he got the virus in the first place. During cold seasons, I think the best you can do is practice good hygiene and figure that if you get one, it's because your immune system needs a boost of antibodies that will be built up. Not that they care what I think, of course! | | Half-Ton Teen | | This is a TV program that I am watching for the first time. It is alarming to see young people in such a state.
I haven't journaled much lately. I'm not really sure why; I just can't seem to collect enough thoughts to string together a few coherent sentences. I guess that's why fb works so well for me; just a few words is all it takes!
Still worried about losing my job; ironically, the election results guaranteed the funding for my program, but as a result, funding for 3 others could be cut. I don't know what's going to happen. It is scary. | | This, that and the other | | Am just recovering from a very nasty cold. Not swine flu, not even regular flu. Am I the only one who finds it really rude when people automatically jump to the conclusion that if you're out from work for a couple of days, you must be carrying all kinds of deadly germs into the office when you return. Give me a break.
The one good thing about the media driven hysteria over swine flu is that we've finally stopped hearing so much about Carrie Prejean. What I want to know is how she can get a book deal based on an answer to a question asked during a beauty pageant. That should be a fascinating story; "I don't believe in gay marriage. The end." She just isn't that interesting, IMHO. |
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