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Public | | Entries: 4 (Private: 0) | Comments: 16 | | Start Date: Oct 16, 2009 | Last Update:
Nov 20, 2009
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| Hateful, hateful people....... | | Well TGIF!!!!! happy to say that I got the result of my third exam and I passed, got a 85.5  , I know its only a B but boy did I work hard for it.
For every positive there's gotta be a negative. I was called to the office by my boss today, according to him people at work are saying that I am not pulling my weight. Which is not true because I go above and beyond to ensure that things are being done according to guidelines. I never told my boss or anyone else at work that I am going to school for fear that this would happen.
I leave early one day a week for Lecture, but never told anyone what I was in school for. Well, one of my co-workers saw a careplan I was doing and has been giving me the cold shoulders since, she jokes around calling me nursey, and says "she thought about nursing but washing ass is not for her". Never, did I think she would make this an issue because I completely supported her when she was trying to go to school. My boss basically said I can no longer leave early to attend school, as I was hired to work from 9-5. So I am now stuck between a rock and a hard place I can't quit because , I wont receive unemployement and I can't quit school because this is what I want to do with my life and I fought tooth and nails to get into this program, so I will not quit. Why must people be so hateful  . | | Failed first test...... | | Well, I failed my first Fundamentals exam, I got 72%, the passing grade is 78%. I am sooo disappointed, I dont know what to do know. I have 2 NCLEX books, I study from all the recommended books and websites, yet I got a 72%. The first test I got a 88% now this. The first lecture was taught by a professor that is both fair and straight foward. This second test the lecturer is the kind of teacher that will do whatever he can to make nursing school "challenging". He said we should not go by what the book say, sometimes the book can be wrong. His word is God. Why have us buy a zillion books if your word is going to be God? Why is your Godly words completely contradictory to what the book, videos and other Clinical Instructors words.
The worst thing about this school is the fact that student are not allowed to view their graded exam. We can meet with the lecturer, who will go over questions within the same context, but you will never know which answers you got wrong !! I am so upset right now !!!!
I have alot counting on this, I cannot fail again...... | | Completely blown away....... | | Took my second fundamentals exam today, boy were the questions tricky. As usual I completely over study, half of the subject matter I thought were most "important" were not even mention. I definately have to find a new way of studying. On a brighter note, I actually pass the math midterm with 87.5%. I cannot believe I actually pass, God is soo good  .
I really wish things were different for me. It is so hard to go through nursing school without any emotional support. When I told my husband I got accepted into nursing school again he seemed somewhat supportive, But he is now acting like an ass. It's like he wants me to fail. To top it off, my daughter who just entered HS is having issues adapting and grasping the workload. I don't know what to do, she is really a good kid and I used to spent alot of time helping her with her HW, but now between a fulltime job and school, I can barely stay awake long enough to ask her how her day is. My husband worries only about his stupid overseas business which takes him away from us every couple of months; when he is home, he is too ocuppied in his own things to really help me out. As far as he's concern, nursing school is a breeze, because so many people he knows who are dummer than a door knob succeeded...... why can't I? As far as he's concern.I am just exagerrating, making this more than it is ughhhhhhh . | | When failure is all you know...... | | Where do I begin.....After flunking out of nursing school two years ago, I finally got accepted into the nursing school of my dreams. Not only is this school close to home, but the faculy seems to really care about the students. It's been 7 weeks now, I've taken my first nurse fundamentals exam in which I only scored an 85, it may sound ok, but I studied for atleast 2 hours per day and that is all I scored . I took the math midterm Wednsday and completely flunked it. I know the material and was even showing other students in the class how easy d/h*Q is, but when I got in front of the exam, I couldn't comprehend one question  ....I even blanked when was ask what OD and OU mean.
This is the same thing that happend to me at the other school. But this time it is worse, beacuse I have so much more to loose. If I fail this school it will be close to impossible to find another school that will accept someone that has flunked out nursing school twice.
I dont know what to do, I study and think I understand the material, but I just cant retain the information long enough to apply it on the exam. Not to mention the fact that I am soo afraid of failing all the time. People see me and think that I have this great life because I have a stable job, but no one knows what is really going on inside of me.
I am such a failure, I can never complete anything I start, I am easily distracted and have major fear of success. I know I can make it but something inside of me keeps telling me I wont, that I can't. How do I get pass that feeling? I try to convince myself that I can succeed at nursing school. I have so much riding on this. I will be quitting my job next semester (providing I pass) because the school schedule will conflict with my work schedule. I thought about getting a job as a PCA to offset the wage lost, but I fear that if I fail again leaving my job to take on a job that pays alot less than what I am getting paid now, will kill me financially and emotionally.
I really dont know what to do at this point....... |
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