I talked to my friend in Hawaii last night, but she couldn't talk much about her divorce because her DD was in the room with her. But from a previous conversation I learned that her soon to be "ex" isn't going after her retirement funds (that's good news). But he didn't sign the divorce papers as my friend presented them to him. He had a friend who was a lawyer (or maybe a paralegal, I forget) look them over and add some verbage to them. Then she sent them back to my friend; who incorporated the language and signed them and sent them back. The language that he wanted added was essentially that he is poor and will not contribute to any of her debts; any of the DD's medical bills; or any of the DD's college expenses (she'll be starting college next fall; maybe in nursing). My friend already knew he wouldn't contribute financially (he hadn't contributed to the family financially in 15 years) but to see it in writing was still disappointing to her. It was also very disappointing to the DD to hear her dad essentially say, "You're on your own, kid. I'm not going to lift a finger to help you."
I also learned that the new man in my friend's life is having trouble finding someone to rent his house in N.C. He's still planning on coming out for the Holidays, but they were hoping that he would be moving out there permanently by the end of the year. Their plan is for him to stay with her in Hawaii until she can take an early retirement and then move back to N.C. He's not a prude, but it sounds like he's uncomfortable staying with her while she is still technically married. I suggested that the best Christmas present she could give him would be to continue to pester her "soon to be ex" to sign the papers and get them back to her so the divorce would be final. I'm such a nag........ it's a wonder I have any friends at all.  |