Unexpected Pregnancy!

  1. Hi, I hope to get some advice. I have never posted on here before, only visit the site daily for information. I am a 22 year old who is on a two year waiting list to get into nursing school in BC, Canada. I just found out 2 days ago that I am pregnant-approx.1-2 weeks along. I will be going to the doctor today to get a check-up but I have no idea what I am going to do! My education is very important to me but I don't think I could go through an abortion. I eventually want to specialize in L&D and having an abortion would be going against what I believe in. I have been in a long term 3 year relationship with my boyfriend and we both work full-time. Neither have ever gone through anything like this before. If anyone has had an abortion or unexpected pregnancy while going through school, any advice would be appreciated. Thank you so much. I need all the advice I can get right now.
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  2. 20 Comments

  3. by   ksfrn66
    Cutecat,

    All things good happen for a reason. You are on a 2 yr waiting list for nursing school - last time I checked, gestation periods were 9 months. This is a very personal decision for both you and your boyfriend. Children are blessings and nursing school will always be there. Besides, you're only 22!
  4. by   BRANDY LPN
    You may want to ask your doctor for counseling/support groups that will be able to help you with whatever decision you make. He/She should be able to give you information to help you through this non-judgementely which ever decision you make. No one on this board can make this decision for you and most will probally not even give you recommendations because it is a VERY personal decision which will change your life. My thoughts are with you, I hope you make the best choice for yourself!
  5. by   KaroSnowQueen
    My vote is this - keep the baby. Boyfriends/husbands may come and go. Nursing school is two years off. The baby will be fifteen months old by then.
    You can go then or put it off a few more years until it goes to school, or go to school part time beforehand and get in your pre-reqs.
    When I started nursing school, I had a 3 yr old, a 4 yr old and gave birth at the end of my first semester. I had to go back and make up some clinical days at the end, but I still managed to sneak through and graduate with my class. If I can do it with two preschoolers and a breast-fed newborn, (and a worthless drunk for a husband), you can do it with a toddler!!! AND I was only 23 at the time.
    If you have an abortion and then work L&D, I am afraid it will bring up bad memories and not be able to enjoy your work there. Just my opinion.
    I will hope and pray you make the right choice for you and that you will be able to do the thing that will make you happiest in the long run.


    edited for spelling. oops!
    Last edit by KaroSnowQueen on May 16, '04
  6. by   Saved_by_Grace
    Quote from brandy lpn
    you may want to ask your doctor for counseling/support groups that will be able to help you with whatever decision you make. he/she should be able to give you information to help you through this non-judgementely which ever decision you make. no one on this board can make this decision for you and most will probally not even give you recommendations because it is a very personal decision which will change your life. my thoughts are with you, i hope you make the best choice for yourself!
    [font=lucida sans unicode]cutecat,
    [font=lucida sans unicode]i hope the best comes from your situation. i am a mother of 3, ages 8,5, and 2 and i am just now going to be able to start my nursing classes this coming fall. i had to put school off for a while so that i could work and take care of my children. it's not going to be easy, no matter what you decide. but if you are on a waiting list now it might actually work out better for you to have your child now before you start your classes. i have a classmate that is due this september and classes start in august. she is going to have the baby and come back to class the next day if she has to. it's all a matter of dedication and what is right for you hon. my thoughts and prayers are with you!
  7. by   traumaRUs
    I wish you luck whatever you decide. Do you have a good friend you could confide in? Or perhaps a family member that you trust?
  8. by   fourblessings
    Congrats on your pg!! Every child is a gift from God...

    I will be starting my nursing school this Fall...I have 4 children, ages 8 yrs old, 6 yrs old, 4 yrs old, and 12 months old! So if I can do it, anyone can do it! LOL....you can take your little baby with you to the college childcare, like I will be doing with my 2 youngest children (the other 2 are in school).....good luck to you, and God bless! xxx
  9. by   cutecat
    Thank-you to all who send some kind words my way, it was greatly appreciated. We are now leaning towards having the baby but I am so terrifed.....this is all new territory for me and my fear is not getting support from family and friends. I have told my boyfriend's sister about the pregnancy and she told me I should have an abortion because I am only 22 and the father is only 25. She did not give me the support I needed which really shocked me-I think families should stand united and be there for one another, especially in times of need! I am definitely in need of love right now. She is 30 years old and said she's not ready to have kids so I guess she thinks we can't handle it either. Any advice on her reaction?
  10. by   manna
    Unplanned pregnancies... when my youngest son was born, my husband was 20 and I was 21. Neither of us had a job. Prior to finding out I was pregnant, we'd both used street drugs and alcohol heavily. It's a wonder my son turned out perfectly healthy and happy - but it turns out that he was the best thing that ever happened to either of us. We have since had a second (also unplanned) son, and our boys are now ages 5 and 2. I'll be starting nursing school this summer.

    Don't let your sisters opinion sway your decision. There are plenty of non-profit groups and organizations that would be willing to offer advice and help if you're interesting in going that route.
    My advice to you is to follow your heart - you know what is best for you and your situation. Don't make rash decisions, or do something in opposition to your own personal belief system, you'll regret it later.

    Good luck making your decision. Feel free to PM me if you ever need someone to listen.
  11. by   Boe
    People are different, it takes all types to populate the world. My aunt did not want children until her 40's, I wanted them in my 20's. Is one of us better? I would say no. Just because she is not ready/ willing for children doesn't mean anything to you. It has nothing to do with you. I am sorry that she could not give you the support and Unconditional love you needed. I am sure that you are running through every emotion possible and I hope that you find peace in the decision you make.
  12. by   a_clay
    Quote from Boe
    People are different, it takes all types to populate the world. My aunt did not want children until her 40's, I wanted them in my 20's. Is one of us better? I would say no. Just because she is not ready/ willing for children doesn't mean anything to you. It has nothing to do with you. I am sorry that she could not give you the support and Unconditional love you needed. I am sure that you are running through every emotion possible and I hope that you find peace in the decision you make.
    I agree with this post. I am 26, will be 27 in a few days and I don't have any kids..I don't feel like I am ready. But that is my decision for MYSELF - it has NOTHING to do with anyone else. Only YOU can know what you can handle and only YOU can decide what's best for you. Good luck with whatever you decide to do. God will NOT give you more than you can handle, no matter what you think.

    Amy
  13. by   Energizer Bunny
    None of our children were planned, but they are the greatest blessings of our lives. We had absolutely NO support either for the first one (actually not really for any of them until our families realized we had made up our minds) but now no one could imagine their lives without them! Good luck. I will say a prayer for you to know what is right in your situation.
  14. by   mimi190
    Hi ...I have a grown child that I adopted when she was 5 days old....She has always known that she is adopted and we are very close...I am proud to be her mother and if she were right here she would tell you that she is glad that I am her mother. She grew up in 4 H and she learned to ride horses...Today she is a prfessional horse trainer. She has been raised she is able to do anything that she can put her mind to...Now If education is important to you maybe you would think of puttig the child up for adoption if abortion is not something that you elieve in...Churches can help place children...I did a private adoption thru a physician and I feel blessed by God...I made a pact with God If I could adopt this child I would name the child after Him and raise her accordingly. I always thought and still do think of the biological mother on holidays and birthdays. After all if she had not made that decision to give her child up I would not be the Mother I am today...God Bless you.

    Last edit by mimi190 on May 22, '04

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