Mom ill; nurse vs daughter

  1. My mother recently had a radical chole. with wedge removal of her liver and part of her colon removed for gallbladder cancer. She had her surgery October 10th and we still have not been able to bring her home! She has had several biliary leaks, a PICC infection, and uncontrolled pain. She is unable to eat and has horrible nausea.She had many stents placed without adequate pain control and despite getting a PCA of dilaudid and now methadone she is still complaining of pain. Her surgeon is at a loss. He's now acting like a jerk, being short with her and rude. He told us there's nothing more for him to do and that her pain is all in her head. I am at my wits end. I fear she is addicted somewhat to the pain meds. I'm a nurse in Oregon and have come to California to care for her. I've been here two months. I've left my job, my boyfriend and my home. I've probably been one of those horrible family members. As a nurse and a daughter I have found it very hard to seperate the two. I have gone to anyone I can for answers. I have begged for them to help her. They finally got palliative care involved to manager her pain. We can't even get her started on chemo and radiation and we have no idea what her prognosis is. I don't know what to do at this point. She's in the Kaiser health system and we can't go for a second opinion unless Kaiser states they can't help her. Anyone with any advice? I don't know if I want to be a nurse anymore after this. She's had some amazing nurses and some who were just awful. She was left to lie alone for hours in agony and not one nurse advocated for her. If I thought I'd ever treated one of my patients this way I'd be mortified. Thanks everyone.
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  2. 2 Comments

  3. by   Silverdragon102
    Sorry you are in this situation and unfortunately can't give medical advice as part of TOS but suggest you talk to primary care doctor with mum's consent
  4. by   Tweety
    What a sad introduction. Good luck.

    I hope you find some support here.

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