any male nurses to share experiences - page 3

I am a 32 year old male thinking about going into nursing from the teaching field. I have heard stories about men who face discrimination. I would like to hear from male nurses or students and their... Read More

  1. by   RN34TX
    [font=Arial Black][/QUOTE] What I think is interesting is that a male is actually worried about being discriminated against. I honestly didn't think that you guys worried so much about these things. Maybe if you were of a different color, gay, etc...but not "just" because you are male, KWIM?[/QUOTE]

    I don't think it's so much "worry" about discrimination in the way that you may be thinking of it, as in getting passed up for a promotion, fair wages, etc. things that women struggled with in male dominated fields. At least that's what I'm getting from the other men posting.
    I just find some of it annnoying at most, like the heavy lifting thing. But the other common one I see is the female who just had a fight and/or breakup with her husband/boyfriend talking about it at the nurse's station and suddenly it's a male bashing session with the other females. I'll walk by and they'll look at me waiting for me to get upset and defend myself after hearing their "All men are dogs" discussions. Like I haven't heard that same old crap before in 7 years of nursing.
    I never join in or get upset because the scenario is always the same. I figure that if she feels better about herself and is better able to cope by taking responsibility and blame off of herself and her mistakes (like perhaps moving in or getting married to soon to a man she hardly knew) and throwing the blame of her misfortunes on men, so be it. Nothing I could say to change her mind or help her through it.
    The majority of women I've worked with do not engage in this type of behavior, but there is just enough of a small minority to make it annoying at times. I know that even some of the women get annoyed about it as well when they hear it.
    Last edit by RN34TX on Jul 2, '04
  2. by   Tweety
    Quote from CNM2B
    You know that I agree with you there, Tweety. I was just trying to make a point that women were always told to suck it up by most men when we were being discriminated against in the past. I am absolutely not saying it is right or that I would want anyone to have to deal with it. Just making a valid point.

    What I think is interesting is that a male is actually worried about being discriminated against. I honestly didn't think that you guys worried so much about these things. Maybe if you were of a different color, gay, etc...but not "just" because you are male, KWIM?
    Sorry Kim, I know you weren't condoning discrimination. It is irritating to talk of discrimination and have a female say "you deserve it after all that we've been through" which isn't what you were saying. But I've heard it before.
  3. by   Tweety
    Quote from CNM2B
    I want to ask a question without offending anyone, so if this offends you, just ignore it...do those of you men that are gay find that women are more overtly sexual and open with you about all of their exploits and personal problems, etc? I think there is a certain comfort level that women feel with a gay man vs. a straight man where we may feel like we have to be this "perfect" version of the femal species. With a gay man, it's more like having a girlfriend. Do you see this? Do you resent it? Do you have many women friends? What do you like/dislike about them?

    Sorry, this has gone off on a tangent, but I really am curious. I would have started another thread but I don't want my gay friends here to be attacked by every tom, dick and harry here on the boards.

    With me that's not necessarily true, but I think I put on the vibes that I'm not interested in anyone's sexual exploits. LOL I know as a white male that I have one of the best relationships with my African American female coworkers than anyone. Sometimes there's a special bond between black females and gay men. I noticed that in Atlanta when I worked in an office that was equally mixed by race. The black girls flocked to me and we got on fabulously, while they stayed away from the str8 white males. Same with my roommate who worked in a hotel. All his friends were black female. Not to generalize about any sexuality or race, but that's just what I've seen happen occasionally.

    But keep your sex life to yourself, and I'll keep mine to myself.
  4. by   Energizer Bunny
    No worries Tweets.
  5. by   RNPATL
    Quote from LaughingDog72
    I am a 32 year old male thinking about going into nursing from the teaching field. I have heard stories about men who face discrimination. I would like to hear from male nurses or students and their experiences in this line of work and what area of nursing you work in. Thanks.
    Been a nurse for 21 years and have never had or seen any discrimination regarding men in nursing, and this includes nursing school. I agree that many times I am mistaken for a physician, and the 80 year old ladies really do love me. Welcome to nursing .... it is a great choice for men today!
  6. by   TraumaInTheSlot
    how long have you been a nurse? 6 years, i went to nursing school because i wanted to meet girls!
    how many people have asked you if you're gay? a few, mostly from friends who like to tease with the bedpan jokes and stuff. people do assume you are gay and once they get to know me, its totally 100% obvious that im not.
    how many people refer to you as a male nurse, but do not call her a female doctor? a few times, doesnt bother me though.
    how often is your brain called on, as opposed to your muscles?working in a real teaching hospital, we all call on each others brains constantly. there is always something to learn from each other. if i do see a patient swing at a female nurse, i will jump in and help, chivalry is not dead from the male nursing point of view.
    how does it feel to work with women who welcome you on the surface, but reject your nursing skills for not having enough estrogen to be nurturing and caring?it doesnt happen at all in my experience, nurses are happy to have anyone of any race, sex, religion etc.. to help healthcare is so messed up right now. all of its problems are related to short staffing and having anyone, even a robot, to help is good. males can be just as nurturing, especially if the patient has a hot grandaughter at the bedside lol j/k
    how do your female co workers treat you when they figure out if you are gay or married, since most women find this out asap? dont seem to treat you and differently. most of them are more buddy buddy with the gay men, from what ive seen, and you cant blame them, they have a lot in common!
    how many women show you much more of them than necessary because you are a "professional?"nursing is a great way to meet women!!!! ( i might be reading into this question)

    hope this helps!
  7. by   Stitchie
    I work in the ED w/ probably men making up about 25% of the nursing and nursing assistant staff, and I have to say I have not seen any discrimination nor felt that men on staff were treated any differently.

    ED nursing is different; it's true that sometimes we value men's ability to lift/set limit/wrestle into restraints the appropriate patient. I have had my male coworkers tell me that if a particular drunk/high patient got out of line, they were my backup, and I appreciate that, still being fairly new to the ER. At the same time I've never hesitated to help or do for my male collegues anything that they weren't comfortable with or unable to perform: vag exams (female must be present in room) or doing personal care (Foley's) for female patients, if the patient expressed an interest. Since many of our patients are 75+, this does come up from time to time.

    I love working with the the men on staff, RN's and techs, because their outlook and approach is differnet; not better, just different. I don't know if any of my male coworkers are gay and I don't care if they are. I know that every one of them is a great team player and I hope we continue to bring more males into the field; our salaries will go up!

    Welcome to nursing, OP, and I hope that you find it everything you want it to be.
  8. by   zenman
    Originally Posted by Ari RN
    ........
    Many times patient's and family have mistaken me of being a Doctor.
    I just tell them not to insult me anymore! :chuckle
  9. by   TraumaInTheSlot
    Quote from zenman
    I just tell them not to insult me anymore! :chuckle
    i do the same thing, i say "NURSE Im a NURSE, dont insult me like that!"

    or, you can say "DOCTOR? WHERE? and spin around."

    im sorry if i insulted anyone about my female comments before. i forget sometimes that i live in new york city and everyones nuts here. sorry
  10. by   AAHZ
    When someone mistakes me for a doc I just say; "Excuse me, I'm a Nurse...I work for a living."
  11. by   DavidFR
    Quote from traumaintheslot
    if i do see a patient swing at a female nurse, i will jump in and help, chivalry is not dead from the male nursing point of view.
    surely you'd jump in to help a male colleague too?
  12. by   PaulMedik
    Quote from Owney
    Paul,

    Congratulations!!! Being able to sign RN after my name was the proudest moment of my life.

    ...........

    Owney:


    My first 'RN' after my signature occured July 12, 2004 and I will, most definately, never forget it. That was an awesome feeling!

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