any male nurses to share experiences - page 2

I am a 32 year old male thinking about going into nursing from the teaching field. I have heard stories about men who face discrimination. I would like to hear from male nurses or students and their... Read More

  1. by   DavidFR
    Quote from PaulMedik
    Yeah that happens a lot. It annoys me though....Don't know why but it does. :imbar
    Yes, it annoys me too.
    I think it's that I find it hard to believe that in the 21st century people are still relying on gender sterotypes.
    I work in occy health - people are forever coming in and saying "Bonjour Docteur" and it does hack me off. Some of them are absoutely gobsmacked when I tell them I'm a nurse - and then when they see that the doctor is a woman, well............
  2. by   RN34TX
    [QUOTE=chris_at_lucas]Oink, oink! This isn't Penthouse, buddy, and if you want to survive, you'll get over your testosteronized mentality.QUOTE]


    I knew that somebody was going to comment on that one when I saw the posting!! Just a matter of time.
    But I have had several jobs that had the token "smooth operator" male nurse that constantly compliments and flirts with the females and always wears a ton of cologne which nurses are not supposed to do in the first place because he thinks his workplace is the local pick-up bar.
    Then I enjoy watching the women walk past him rolling their eyes and shaking their heads.
    Am I the only male nurse who sees this from time to time?
    Seriously, the only discrimination as a male that I've ever seen is I've had a couple of job situations of "Oh look, a male nurse. He can take all of the heavy lifting and combative patients."
    But it's up to you to put a stop to that and then it will stop. For me, I would remind them that unless I started getting some "gender specific" shift differential or premium pay for being a male, I am not taking the heaviest patients every time I walk in the door.
    But that type of mentality in 7 years of nursing has been very much in the minority. You will find that most of your female co-workers on any given unit will split the workload equally and are greatful in today's shortage for any quality competent help on their unit and don't have much time to worry about gender differences.
  3. by   Owney
    Here are a couple of questions for us guys:

    How long have you been a nurse?
    How many people have asked you if you're gay?
    How many people refer to you as a male nurse, but do not call HER a female doctor?
    How often is your brain called on, as opposed to your muscles?
    How does it feel to work with women who welcome you on the surface, but reject your nursing skills for not having enough estrogen to be nurturing and caring?
    How do your female co workers treat you when they figure out if you are gay or married, since most women find this out ASAP?
    How many women show you much more of them than necessary because you are a "professional?"

    These are just starters. Come on guys, we've got many lifetimes of issues.

    Owney
  4. by   LaughingDog72
    Didn't mean to tick anyone off. What I said was supposed to have been a compliment. I apologize.
  5. by   PaulMedik
    Quote from Owney
    Here are a couple of questions for us guys:

    How long have you been a nurse?
    How many people have asked you if you're gay?
    How many people refer to you as a male nurse, but do not call HER a female doctor?
    How often is your brain called on, as opposed to your muscles?
    How does it feel to work with women who welcome you on the surface, but reject your nursing skills for not having enough estrogen to be nurturing and caring?
    How do your female co workers treat you when they figure out if you are gay or married, since most women find this out ASAP?
    How many women show you much more of them than necessary because you are a "professional?"

    These are just starters. Come on guys, we've got many lifetimes of issues.

    Owney

    Owney:

    Hopefully for 26 hours now...don't have results back.

    I've never been asked if I'm gay.

    I've never been called a male nurse.

    My brain is picked more than muscle. I am 6' 230lbs, though I owe 20lb of that to nursing school, so a weak appearance isn't the excuse.

    I don't give a second thought to what my coworkers might think of my nurturing ability. I simply do what I feel is best and leave it at that.

    My coworkers, and costudents, treat me just fine.

    I do not mind being shown more than necessary, because it's going to happen, but I'm 100% certain that my female counterparts would agree that they are routinely exposed to more than they care to see as well. Perhaps I could agree with your statement of 'we' as nurses, but not 'we' as nurses who are male.
  6. by   Owney
    Paul,

    Congratulations!!! Being able to sign RN after my name was the proudest moment of my life.

    When I was at the same stage in my career, at age 34, I felt as accepted as you do. I have been a nurse for over 20 years. Instances of discrimination, (sex, race, age, nationality & sexual orientation), I have suffered can be counted on my fingers, (without removing my shoes), but they DO happen.

    I am not complaining about being treated differently. My questions were designed to get more feedback. Come on folks, bring it on!

  7. by   Energizer Bunny
    If you do see discrimination (though I hope you don't) just think of what so many women have had to endure in other professions.
  8. by   LaughingDog72
    What CNM2B said about what women have experienced in other proffesions is why I started this thread. I have seen women in male dominated areas being treated with contempt. I used to work in the parks department where I live and the few women that worked there were run off by the men. It was awfull how they treated these women for simply trying to do their jobs. I just wanted to get some feedback of this issue precisely because I've seen it done to women in the workplace.
  9. by   DavidFR
    Quote from owney
    here are a couple of questions for us guys:

    how long have you been a nurse?
    how many people have asked you if you're gay?
    how many people refer to you as a male nurse, but do not call her a female doctor?
    how often is your brain called on, as opposed to your muscles?
    how does it feel to work with women who welcome you on the surface, but reject your nursing skills for not having enough estrogen to be nurturing and caring?
    how do your female co workers treat you when they figure out if you are gay or married, since most women find this out asap?
    how many women show you much more of them than necessary because you are a "professional?"


    how long have you been a nurse? qualified in 1986
    how many people have asked you if you're gay?rarely
    how many people refer to you as a male nurse, but do not call her a female doctor?less frequently now, but when i trained (early 80's) it was very common
    how often is your brain called on, as opposed to your muscles?when i worked in hospital i was always called upon to help lift the heavies, which i resented as i have a back too. [/color
    how does it feel to work with women who welcome you on the surface, but reject your nursing skills for not having enough estrogen to be nurturing and caring?]i can't say this has really happened to me, but i agree that the assumption exists and is sexist
    how do your female co workers treat you when they figure out if you are gay or married, since most women find this out asap?i am gay which i neither hide nor broadcast at work. i only ever had negative reacions in my training, in the 80's in the south-west of england, a rather backward part of the country, and hopefully in 20 years thigs have changed. since then i've worked in the north of england, london and paris with no negative comeback whatsoever.
    how many women show you much more of them than necessary because you are a "professional?"yes, this happens frequently. i have even had female patients on two occasions be overtly sexual which is a horrible thing to deal with. sexual harassment is sexual harassment no matter where it comes from.
  10. by   Tweety
    Quote from CNM2B
    If you do see discrimination (though I hope you don't) just think of what so many women have had to endure in other professions.

    Two wrongs don't make a right. Discrimination is wrong. Period.
  11. by   Tweety
    How long have you been a nurse? 15 years

    How many people have asked you if you're gay? One patient did, no coworker have. I'm obviously gay though and don't hide it with coworkers. But many patients have presumed I was str8 asking about my "wife" etc. Very irritating.

    How many people refer to you as a male nurse, but do not call HER a female doctor? I agree it doesn't happen as often as it did 15 years ago.

    How often is your brain called on, as opposed to your muscles? I'm the charge nurse and my brain is fried from being called on so much.

    How does it feel to work with women who welcome you on the surface, but reject your nursing skills for not having enough estrogen to be nurturing and caring? Doesn't happen. Remember I'm gay. It's only str8 guys that are presumed to have no nurturing skills.

    How do your female co workers treat you when they figure out if you are gay or married, since most women find this out ASAP? No different really.


    How many women show you much more of them than necessary because you are a "professional?" NONE THANK GOD!


    I'm beginning to wonder if the gay male nurse experience is different that the str8 male experience?
  12. by   Energizer Bunny
    Quote from 3rdShiftGuy
    Two wrongs don't make a right. Discrimination is wrong. Period.
    You know that I agree with you there, Tweety. I was just trying to make a point that women were always told to suck it up by most men when we were being discriminated against in the past. I am absolutely not saying it is right or that I would want anyone to have to deal with it. Just making a valid point.

    What I think is interesting is that a male is actually worried about being discriminated against. I honestly didn't think that you guys worried so much about these things. Maybe if you were of a different color, gay, etc...but not "just" because you are male, KWIM?
  13. by   Energizer Bunny
    I want to ask a question without offending anyone, so if this offends you, just ignore it...do those of you men that are gay find that women are more overtly sexual and open with you about all of their exploits and personal problems, etc? I think there is a certain comfort level that women feel with a gay man vs. a straight man where we may feel like we have to be this "perfect" version of the femal species. With a gay man, it's more like having a girlfriend. Do you see this? Do you resent it? Do you have many women friends? What do you like/dislike about them?

    Sorry, this has gone off on a tangent, but I really am curious. I would have started another thread but I don't want my gay friends here to be attacked by every tom, dick and harry here on the boards.

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