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  1. This may get moved from the OZ forum to humor but I thought I'd give you all first crack at it.

    You're not Australian until you've:

    1) You've caught a blowfly buzzing around your head with your bare hands.
    2) You've mimicked Alf Stewart from 'Home and Away' - "Push off, ya flamin' drongo"
    3) You have argued whether Fords are better than Holden's
    4) You've done the Hot Sand run from the beach to your towel
    5) You know who Ray Martin is
    6) You call your home "My Joint"
    7) You start using words like 'Bloody, grouse and champ'
    8) You stop greeting people with 'Hello' and go straight into 'how're you doin'?
    9) You've seriously considered running down to the shops in a pair of ugh boots
    10) You own ugh boots
    11) You've been to a one day cricket match and screamed incomprehensibly until your throat went raw
    12) You've had to decide between putting up with mosquitoes and moving the BBQ inside
    13) You've changed your ring tone on your mobile phone to something much more annoying than the one it came with
    14) You kind of know the first verse of the national anthem, but buggered if you know what 'girt' means
    15) You have a story that some how revolves around excess consumption of alcohol and a mate named 'Dave'
    16) You're secretly annoyed with Russell Crowe
    17) You own a Bonds t-shirt and wear it with pride
    18) You've risked attending a music festival on the hottest day of the year
    19) You've tried to hang off a Hills Hoist while pretending you could fly

    20) You've had to visit the emergency room after hanging off Hills Hoist and pretending you could fly
    21) You own pair of thongs for every day use, and another pair of dress thongs for special occasions
    22) You don't know what's in a meat pie and you don't care
    23) You pronounce Australia 'Straya'
    24) You call soccer 'soccer', not football
    25) You know a dog named Bluey
    26) You've squeezed Vegemite between Vita Wheat to make Vegemite worms
    27) You suck coffee though a Tim Tam
    28) You've become deeply cynical of politicians
    29) You realise that lifeguards are the only ones who can wear Speedo's and look good
    30) You've been in a Ute with a blue heeler in the back
    31) You pledge allegiance to Vegemite over Promite
    32) In your CD collection you have at least one: Kylie Minogue, Cold Chisel or Paul Kelly
    33) You understand the value of Public Holidays
    34) You order a "Hamburger with the lot, thanks love"
    35) You believe that the flavour of any meal is improved by adding tomato sauce
    36) You have been invited to a B&S Ball
    37) Your weekends are spent barracking for your favourite sports team
    38) You have a toilet dolly
    39) You've played beach cricket with a tennis ball and a bat fashioned out of a fence post
    40) You still go on about how great the Sydney Olympics were
    41) You firmly believe that in the end, everything will be ok, and have told a mate in tough times that 'She'll be right, mate'
    42) You use the phrase 'no worries' at least once a day
    43) You've been on a beach holiday and probably stayed in a caravan
    44) You constantly shorten words. For example, breakfast becomes
    'brekkie' and afternoon becomes 'arvo', barbeque becomes 'barbie'
    45) You order a $5 steak the size of your head at your local RSL
    46) You've adopted a local bar as one of your own
    47) You know all the words to 'Holy Grail' and sing it at the top of your lungs.
    48) Your idea of a holiday is driving hundreds of kilometres to sit on the banks of the Murray and drink copious amounts of alcohol while you pretend to be fishing
    49) You can't understand why John Farnham never became an international success
    50) You know that the oath of mateship can never be limited by geographical distance

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  2. 2 Comments

  3. by   gwenith
    Thanks for postin' these Mate!!

    1) You've caught a blowfly buzzing around your head with your bare hands.
    You also have swallowed at least two flies in the course of a conversation and didn't even stop to cough!!

    You know what an "Australian wave" is!!

    2) You've mimicked Alf Stewart from 'Home and Away' - "Push off, ya flamin' drongo"
    You have also mimicked Kylie Mole, Con the Fruiterer and you know where the phrase "He's gotta be Dreamin'" comes from.

    4) You've done the Hot Sand run from the beach to your towel
    Also known as the "Toasted Toe Tango"

    9) You've seriously considered running down to the shops in a pair of ugh boots
    :chuckle Actually they are Ugg Boots

    but I do agree if you wear them too long the pong does turn them more into an Ugh boot!

    11) You've been to a one day cricket match and screamed incomprehensibly until your throat went raw
    Ah! Now we actually have to share that pastime with the Poms - mind you you gotta be an Aussie to know exactly what a Pommie is..............

    12) You've had to decide between putting up with mosquitoes and moving the BBQ inside
    And if you live in "The Territory" you have actually watched the Mossies cart the ruddy Barbie back outside again then sit around it beckoning you to come out!!!

    14) You kind of know the first verse of the national anthem, but buggered if you know what 'girt' means
    Isn't "Gert" that shiela that owns a beach house???



    16) You're secretly annoyed with Russell Crowe
    Actually - he is a Kiwi but they are not sure they want him either:chuckle

    19) You've tried to hang off a Hills Hoist while pretending you could fly
    20) You've had to visit the emergency room after hanging off Hills Hoist and pretending you could fly
    You haven't lived as a kid unless you have tried this.

    21) You own pair of thongs for every day use, and another pair of dress thongs for special occasions
    Q How do you who is the bride at a wedding in Woop Woop??
    A She is the one in thongs

    Now here we are talking of the type that go on the feet

    (Ps Real Aussies also know where Woop Woop is!!)

    22) You don't know what's in a meat pie and you don't care
    That's because they are always made from genuine animal products

    25) You know a dog named Bluey
    Or a mate named "Bluey" because of his red hair

    27) You suck coffee though a Tim Tam
    A connoisseur's delight - Ya don't know what ya missin'

    28) You've become deeply cynical of politicians
    Keep tellin' ya - all Polies are a bunch of raving ratbags that couldnt lie straight in bed!!!

    38) You have a toilet dolly
    Goes with the crocheted coathangers and the placky(plastic) bag bag.

    43) You've been on a beach holiday and probably stayed in a caravan
    Been there done that bought the T-shirt and the hat!! 'Bout to do it again soon!!
  4. by   joannep
    And I have to tell you, only an american would have married that crocodile fella from QLD, no self respecting aussie gal would have!!

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