Failed nclex first attempt with h4 visa...pls.help me bout retake/license issue in ca

Hello Everyone!
I'm a newbie here..please bear with me.
I took the NCLEX-RN exam for the first time,but unfortunately I failed.I expected it though.

Its a long drama story bout my case.
Chapter 1- I'm a BSN grad from a foreign country, just before our Local Board Exam, I went here in US with my mom holding an H4 Visa(dependent of my Dad with H-1B). I'm not really prepared to come here in US and my mind is still in my home country because I wanted to take my Local Board. When I arrived here I had no idea about NCLEX-process,requirements. But a known frend advised me to file my application in CA BON.So she took care of all the forms needed. I applied and rec'd my eligibility last 2008. I started to review "SELF-REVIEW" because i don't have any idea of review centers here. I used kaplan/saunders.
It's not easy to start a new life here in states esp if you don't have relatives around. My dad's first company filed there bankrupcy thus he was trasnferred into another company. A Lot of Stress is unfolding. We don't have a car and we manage to walk when we go to the grocery not minding the hot,cold temps. Just before he start to work for his new company, the economy of US is slowly declining, his salary was decreased and its not even enough to pay our bills,rent and needs. We are all anxious then, my mom and I couldn't work due to our H4 Visa unless someone will sponsor us for H 1B. We were planning to file our AOS but due to financial constraints we couldn't afford. But after sometime we were thinking to start it just for us to have work permit. Months later I registered to pearson vue and got my ATT as well. I planned to review few more months. During those months news all over the world- are broadcasting GLOBAL RECESSION eps here in USA. I'm really horrified with what is happening because we are only holding Non-Immigrant Visas and worst might happen anytime.
Month later I heard a bad news from my home country that my Ninang/Close friend of my Mom is in critical condition,and later on died due to cardiac arrest. My heart was torned into pieces when i heard she just passed away. It was emotionally devastating.
Then few weeks later my dad has successfully passed his driving and got his drivers license. But since we are new here its hard to find someone to lend autoloan right away. But luckily we got a brand new car. We were all happy because we will not be paralyzed anymore and it has been a year.

Chapter 2- The economy is not yet improving and unemployment rate is rising. The new company of my dad has laid-off 2 batches of their employees in any division. Unfortunately my dad was laid -off for the third batch. We all felt the burden of the bad news. We are unprepared,clueless of what will happen to us next...It's really painful. But thinking of my sched Nclex exam the month after i need to still focus and not be pressured.But I cried a lot,began asking,thinking,..but I realized that everything happens for a reason. We pray pray and pray and hoping for the best.

Chapter 3- Day of my Exam- I took my exam with all the experiences i have gone through back in my mind. but i remained strong for my family. I stopped at 75 questions and I asked myself did I pass?I don't think so, Did I gave my very best?

Chapter 4- this is the answer in my queries at chapter 3- I received an envelope from CA BON- indicating we regret to inform you that you did not pass.'HAS NOT PASSED. I stopped for a while and I smiled, y?because i already accepted it. I prayed to God that this times of difficulties, I leave it all to HIM that whatever the result that is His will.

Chapter 5- Retake policy-45 days...As I look on the reapply forms,they are asking SSN thus it mean PASS or FAIL you need an SSN to reapply and for your license to be issued once you passed NCLEX?.

MY QUESTION IS: Since I'm H4 Visa ,didn't pass my NCLEX, state board is CALIFORNIA whose asking for SSN if you passed
What options should I do?
retake in CA?
change and apply other state who doesn't require SSN after passing?
or its better to GO HOME TO MY HOME COUNTRY AND BE AN RN THERE?

Thank you everyone