Changing harmful nursing culture - page 2

I would like to share with you my difficulties with dealing with gossip in the workplace. I live and work in a rural hospital. The hospital has about 100 beds or so. Most of the nursing staff know... Read More

  1. by   talaxandra
    It's Thursday - hope all went well today, and better tomorrow
  2. by   Sonn
    The meeting was totally disasterous. Devastating. No other words for it. A work week from hell. Couldn't have got much worse.
  3. by   joannep
    That doesn't sound good at all. I don't know what to say to help you deal with this. You are going to feel as if you are being run out of town. Are you able to take some leave from work to allow you to get away from the situation? Are you able to make an appointment with your general practitioner and discuss the situation, you may be able to go on stress leave with work care cover.
    Last edit by joannep on Nov 17, '06
  4. by   augigi
    Just wanted to say, if you are being bullied and gossiped about, then you presenting info about team building may be counterproductive. The employer should take control of this, not you. It's not fair to you to take on that role and additional stress.

    If I were you, I'd be putting my complaints IN WRITING to the DON, and copying it to my union or nursing board. Tell your manager you are going to end up on stress leave if they don't do something about it.

    Good luck, hope this gets better soon. The good news for you is that bullies generally get bored with no reaction and move on to the next victim. I would document every incident in writing, and if necessary, make a formal complaint to the nursing board about the nurse in question regarding unprofessional behaviour.
  5. by   Sonn
    To Mulan: Thanks I am taking it further
    To Gwenith: You always give fabulous advise. I am documenting and approaching the issue of code of conduct. Thanks for caring and constructive help.
    To Penny4urthoughts: Love your Hermione quote LOL
    To Talaxandra and Augigi: Yes. Very unpleasant and I need courage as well as luck
    To Grace Oz: Thanks for your kind words and advise. I am a crusader without malice (I am not that kind of person) and truth and justice will revail in the long run.
    To Joannep: thanks for thinking of me, you have a good heart.
    _________________________________

    I'll be okay from here. Thanks so much for caring and your empathy to my situation. You have no idea how much it has meant to me. It has been difficult.
    xxx
  6. by   Sonn
    Oh...I forgot Ceridwyn......Thanking you too.
  7. by   gentle
    I am responding to your post in the other forum. when I noticed that you no longer wanted to receive posts there, I hoped this would be an appropriate place for me to respond to you.



    Originally Posted by ceecel.dee
    Hey! Talk to administrator first thing in the morning! No more practice until she/he knows what's going on in her/his institution! Immediate leave-of-absence!
    Self-care now! There is bigger and better out there for you! Leave the "petty's" in your dust.



    :yeahthat:

    Agreed. Please get out of there immediately. You don't need this at all. Please speak with your doctor immediately, obtain a medical release (we were told that no one needed to know why an individual went on Family Leave) with this you can leave to regroup and use your pto or elb for a while. Meanwhile find a counselor. When I saw nothing but your crying face . . . You are in a seriously toxic situation. It has already taken you past level 1, of the mobbing issue, and on into level 2.

    While you are out please take time for healing. Use your credit cards or whatever is necessary to get you through. First take time to rest, grieve, and re-eval.

    Sonn, I am truly sorry you are going though this. This is wrong. I wish you all the best.
  8. by   Sonn
    this organisation is not dealing with this well. but i take inspiration from graceoz quote
    tamed women are safe. they don't challenge the prevailing order. but untamed women roar when injustice is done.they yell when they're stepped on. they get up and leave when things aren't right. and they bring change when change is needed.
    ..........karen alexander.
    the hardest thing is actually not leaving and challenging the whole system.
  9. by   gentle
    Quote from Sonn
    This organisation is not dealing with this well. But I take inspiration from GraceOz quote
    Tamed women are safe. They don't challenge the prevailing order. But untamed women roar when injustice is done.They yell when they're stepped on. They get up and leave when things aren't right. And they bring change when change is needed.
    ..........Karen Alexander.
    The hardest thing is actually not leaving and challenging the whole system.

    For me, the hardest thing has been both. I have difficulty discerning when I am to challenge the system versus when I should leave.

    I believe that you know what is best for yourself. Stay if you believe that this is the correct thing to do at this time; however, please leave when you know that it is time to go. and for goodness sake, please do not hesitate.

    BTW, your response to the poster in the other forum was a natural stress response. I understand to some extent where you were. I wish you well, Sonn. And I will be praying. Please keep us posted on how you and your family are doing. :heartbeat :icon_hug:
  10. by   Hellllllo Nurse
    Quote from ceridwyn
    I think your wonderful trying to channel your anger this way into an education program...but don't let this as well make you ill.

    If your friends are not stopping this gossip, ask them why?

    How about confronting her with your husband in tow...or solicitor or the Doctor, or his wife. That would make real good gossip for a few days, and hopefully put an end to it.
    Good advice.
    Let us know how it turns out, Sonn. I admire you for how you are addressing this.
  11. by   Sonn
    The current situation:
    1. I have had a meeting with the director of nursing (DON). The meeting was supportive and she was very empathetic. She didn't have much advice on what I should do, so therefore I told her what I thought best for me (which is the following)
    2. A meeeting was arranged to I could talk to "Shirley"(not her real name) in the DONs office. Shirley sat there and looked myself and DON in the face and denied everything she has ever done to me. Additionally, she went on to accuse me of being a liar, sick, and then said I must of brought her here because I had a guilty conscious. The DON didn't seem to know how to handle it, and I felt really let down.
    I approached one of my colleagues and said this crap about me and the doc has to stop. and she pulled me aside and said I had to think about what I might of done to place myself in this situation! What? Having intense conversations intraoperatively....He says goodbye to me at the end of my shift (says goodbye to everyone else too! But that doesn't count). So this is now my fault, according to her.
    3. The day after this meeting (last friday) I instigated a meeting and stood up and spoke to my team. As an artist a presented a canvas which had all my colleagues in the artwork. Everyone was linked together forming a building and the artwork was titled "we are a team building". I spoke about what "building" means, I spoke about what makes strong teams, I spoke passionately about the concepts of bullying and harrassment. It was emotional speach. Some of the audience cried so I must have reached a few with my ideals.
    4. I have a confrontation with 2 employees from another ward next friday.
    Depending how I feel after that I am considering taking on managment because they has no real idea with how to deal with these types of issues.

    The limits of tryants are prescribed by the endurance of those whom they opress (Frederick Douglass).
    There may be a time for me to leave..but I will follow through what I think is the right thing not just for myself but for others who have, are and may experience this harmful nursing culture.
    Thank you all so much for your support. Because this community is not offering me much.....yet...one can always hope the tide will change.
  12. by   Sonn
    The tide is changing..
    Have taken on a nursing supervisor, nurse in-charge, and another RN. Have also challenged the Director of Nursing on managing the issue.
    Currently winning the battle in style, without malice, by exposing others for just who they are.
    I have written a draft resource folder "Nurses Against Mobbing" if you want it send me a PM and I will send it to you.
  13. by   gwenith
    Quote from Sonn
    The tide is changing..
    Have taken on a nursing supervisor, nurse in-charge, and another RN. Have also challenged the Director of Nursing on managing the issue.
    Currently winning the battle in style, without malice, by exposing others for just who they are.
    I have written a draft resource folder "Nurses Against Mobbing" if you want it send me a PM and I will send it to you.
    Good for you!! Keep that moral high ground and now go quiet about it - she will not expect that. (ALWAYS do the unexpected) The danger if you keep pushing is that she can start using THAT against you.

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