Ripped into a million pieces

Specialties Hospice

Published

  • by Vtachy1
    Specializes in BNAT instructor, ICU, Hospice,triage.

Have you ever been ripped into a million pieces by a patient's husband or family? All I did was ask if they would like a CNA to start coming to the home, and I get chewed on and chewed on and chewed on. He says that we are pushing too much stuff too quickly. And yes, patient is declining very fast. He's overwhelmed and angry. But when we give up so much and give and give and give and that's what I get? I know I know he's just taking his anger out on me, but it still hurts. I am sensitive which makes me a very good hospice nurse but it also causes night after night of sleeplessness and anxiety and hurt.

Anyone else had this happen to them?

Esme12, ASN, BSN, RN

1 Article; 20,908 Posts

Specializes in Critical Care, ED, Cath lab, CTPAC,Trauma.

Yes I have....positively shredded....and yes it hurts. I know that they are overwhelmed and angry and they have to blame someone....and it can't be GOD or the DOC because they are still hoping for a miracle. You need to find a place to take those harsh words and pout them away. It isn't personal.....it truly isn't....they are just trying to make other people hurt like they are hurting...

((HUGS)) I know how you feel.

Specializes in Hospice, Geriatrics, Wounds.

Please don't let this get you down!!!!

Remember, you have entered a person's life at the most vulnerable, emotional, and depressing time.... I can promise you....they meant absolutely nothing by it....you were just a channel at that moment for their frustration.

As hospice professionals, we can't take comments\actions to heart. We MUST brush it off, and continue to provide the compassionate care we are known for.

I have learned, sometimes families feel as if WE FEEL they aren't doing a good enough job of providing care when we offer aide services. We see it as a way of reducing caregiver burden.......they don't. Each family and situation is different. You did the right thing, and meant well...don't beat yourself up about it!!!!! Trust me when I say, we have all BEEN THERE!

Stella1688

23 Posts

YES! It has taken a long time to learn not to take it personally. Like the others said we are entering someone's life at the most vulnerable time, but also the families most overwhelming time. It is a lot harder to be the caregiver watching your loved one die than to be the person dying. This person will probably end up apologizing to you. In a way we are sometimes the only punching bag for the caregiver...which is okay as long as it doesn't get out of control. Keep your chin up :)

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