My family member in hospice

Specialties Hospice

Published

Hi all,

Just looking for some advice. My aunt, with whom I am very close, has been battling cancer. She has run out of curative treatment options, and she and my uncle are going to get hospice involved. I think it is going to be a matter of weeks until she passes. My question to all of you...how can I best be supportive? The hospice nurse is coming out twice a week for now, and will visit more frequently as the need arises, but for the in between times, my mother and I and a few other family members will be caring for her.

I am a nurse, so I can handle the physical care portion, but how do you all approach the emotional part? I worked in an ICU for several years, so dying patients is not a new thing for me, but when it's a family member...aunt Mary is a very upbeat person, always has been, so I suspect she will be up until the very end. I am just kind of lost as to how to be a part of the support system she needs at this critical point.

Any advice any of you could give would be much appreciated. Thanks in advance.

Katnip, RN

2,904 Posts

I'm not an expert at hospice, but I think the best thing you can do is just be there. Let her know that you love her, and just kind of follow her lead. Ask her if she wants to talk about her condition.

If she wants to maintain a cheerful attitude, then go right along. If she wants to vent, let her.

My best to you.

aimeee, BSN, RN

932 Posts

Listen with a capital L. Listen to not only what she and other family members are saying, but listen carefully to what they are NOT saying. What they are NOT saying is often what they fear or what they are too uncomfortable to bring up but what they are most torn up about. Create opportunities for intimate exchange...moments when you are alone and performing an intimate activity...like doing a pedicure. Open the door a crack by sharing a feeling or memory. Although cheerful upbeat people are generally that way by nature, sometimes part of it is a front...the way they feel their family expects them to be...sometimes they need permission to express their other side.

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