Do your dying patient's have company?

  1. It has been my experience that the dying are not alone. Unscientifically speaking, about 90% of the people I take care of tell me, near the end of their lives, that they've been visited by deceased loved ones, and sometimes by kindly strangers. This didn't matter if they were on opiods, didn't matter what they were dying from. Does any one have some experiences of unseen visitors that they'll never forget?

    One I will remember fondly is M. She asked me, "Can I have a drink? Don't give any more to my dad, he's had enough already."
    I asked her, "M., where are you?"
    She said, "I'm at a party, at the Smiths'"

    Good for her!!!
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  2. 51 Comments

  3. by   baseline
    Oh yes. It's a sure sign the end is near when the person is having conversations with their mother, father, deceased spouse....someone has come to help them into the next place. My experience has been that these people are very much at peace.
  4. by   CANRN
    Yes, I agree. My father passed away at home, he told my Mom one day to open the door and "let them in." She did, he was waving them in and suddenly said "CLOSE THE DOOR! Don't let that one in!"

    I believe in our deceased family and friends come to guide us.
  5. by   Hellllllo Nurse
    I was a nurse at a free-standing inpt hospice unit for four years. Yes, many of my pts had "company" during their last days and hours.

    One even got a phone call from the "other side."

    I posted about "the Phone Call From Beyond" on another site and won a prize for it. I will copy and paste it here, if anyone wants to read it.

    I do miss hospice nursing, but am excited by my new job in hemodialysis.
  6. by   ThirdWorldGirl
    I've never really told anyone about this because I thought most would think I was crazy but when I worked in a long term care facility I had a hospice patient that the cna's and I were spending alot of time with, his family didn't spend alot of time with him (there was alot of bad past with them from what I understood) and this man was holding the male cna's hand and crying and told us that he was going to "leave" at 4, it was a little after midnight and we didn't know if he meant 0400 or 1600 and on what day but he was convinced of it, told us that "the 3 men in black suits had given him his box, that held the card showing the time he would leave" after talking to him some more, he begged for me to call a priest, at this point I called the hospice RN on call and told her what his wishes were, and she said she would see what she could do but on his chart it showed him to be Methodist not Catholic but she would try, she did manage to get a priest to come visit with him but he couldn't until after breakfast the next morning, well the patient had called his wife from his room and cried and begged for her to forgive him for all the bad he had put her through in their years of marriage. His wife called me at the desk and asked me what was happening to him, and the best I could tell her was that he believed his time was near and he wanted a priest to come visit with him, at this time the wife said to me, "why does he want a priest?, he's not Catholic, he's been Methodist since we married", well to make a long story short, we spent alot of time with him that night and the next day at about 1600 he passed away. So yes I do believe in this.
  7. by   RNonsense
    My grandfather passed away at a little nursing home in Alberta. The night he passed the bed alarm thingy rang at midnight, the nurses went in and he said he was "trying to turn off his light" (the light WAS off...) then about a half hour later his bed alarm rang again and this time he was out out bed trying to dress himself...told the nurses he "had to go... my- Grandmothers -name- here...said I have to go now" they got him back in his PJ's, and shortly after he passed in his sleep. So yes..I'm a believer.
  8. by   tattooednursie
    Once I was with a patient who was near the end. She said to me "Who is that little boy standing behind you?" and I said "There is no one there." and she said "Look, he is coming closer to you now" then I got this really eerie feeling. and I felt the sensation that some one was coming a little too close for my comfort. I almost wet myself!
  9. by   mchospicern
    A hospice chaplain once pointed out to me how people who have have lived through near death experiences seemed to have less fear of dying. Has anyone ever asked a dying person if they've ever come close to dying before?
  10. by   Lucy RN
    I just love this thread!! I have a similar experience....
    my grandma was in a nursing home and she had endstage CHF and was becoming quite forgetful. She was up early one morning around 4 AM and wanted to get dressed. She usually slept until breakfast and never dressed until the aide came to do her care. Anyway, this particular morning she walked out of her room, fully clothed with a beautiful sweater on, and one of the nurses asked her what she was doing up so early and commented on how pretty her sweater was. She told them that she had to go and that she only wore her sweater when she was going somewhere special. The nurses thought she was just confused and escorted her back to her room to wait for breakfast. An hour later they went in to check on her and she had died in her recliner peacefully. The charge nurse was so surprised by this that she actually told me this when I asked her if grandma had been doing anything different that morning. Now I know she was getting ready for her journey!!!!
  11. by   Disablednurse
    My husband almost died this past July r/t having a build up of blood pressure meds in his body. He started counting and really scared me because I have seen some the elderly residents start doing that when they were dying. He had a blood pressure of 60 palpated and a heart rate of less than 12. He told me that he watched them take care of him as he saw himself laying there on the stretcher. Fortunately he made it, but he told me later that it was like watching the tv shows like ER, etc. He said that they really do things like that, throwing things on the floor, etc.
  12. by   mert
    Definitely believe this. A few weeks before my Mom died (Ca), she said that her "Daddy" and her mother came to see her. She said that she was not afraid anymore. Very peaceful after that.
  13. by   deespoohbear
    Originally posted by Hellllllo Nurse
    I was a nurse at a free-standing inpt hospice unit for four years. Yes, many of my pts had "company" during their last days and hours.

    One even got a phone call from the "other side."

    I posted about "the Phone Call From Beyond" on another site and won a prize for it. I will copy and paste it here, if anyone wants to read it.

    I do miss hospice nursing, but am excited by my new job in hemodialysis.
    Oh, please do paste the story. I would love to read it. Thanks.

    Becky
  14. by   deespoohbear
    Oh, yes I do believe dying patients are greeted by loved ones on the other side. I have had too many dying patients tell me "There is my (name of long deceased relative)" and then pass away. I have also had dying patients say they smell flowers (when no flowers are present) and then pass. Like some other posters mentioned, I also believe that the dying can see people from the other side. I have even heard some of my Christian patients who are dying talk about seeing Jesus. That gives my spine a chill but it also gives me comfort as a Christian myself.

    This is a wonderful thread. Thanks for starting it.

    Becky

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