DH dying-need prayers

Specialties Hospice

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I've posted before about my husband being terminally ill and complications that have come up, but this is the worst it has every been. Currently in ICU with ARDS and sepsis, placed on dialysis yesterday. On a vent, paralytic, the whole works.

Miraculously he has been showing signs of improvement. CXR went from a complete white out to having distinguishable upper lobes, heart, ET. That was amazing. Has been running a PEEP of 20. Went in this morning to a stunned looking pulmonologist telling me that the lungs are regaining some elasticity so they got the PEEP down to 8. (PTL!)

I have been glued to his bedside but am home tonight as I had nobody to take care of our 5 year old. Besides she is desperate for some mommy time and vice versa. I was actually sleeping peacefully and his brother called and woke me up. Couldn't go back to sleep and felt God telling me to get on here and get as many prayers as possible going so that dh can get over the hump. My brother in law is an atheist but I continue to witness to him about God in my life and God's ability to heal if it is in his will.

Please, all you that can pray, please help me out on this one. His name is Dan and I love him more than anything. He had not made a decision for the Lord before he was intubated so that is a big reason for wanting him to wake up and have one more chance.

Thanks in advance to all. You guys are wonderful support.

Hi everybody. I'm trying to get back in the swing of things. Still going to school even though I hate it. Was going to resume my hospice volunteer work this week, but somehow the days got away from me. Have to get back to that next week. Scheduled my boards for 2/14. Haven't heard from the one that caused me so much extra grief, which is fine. My friends are being very supportive still. But what's bothering me is that I had two very graphic bad dreams about Dan last night. In one he was standing in the bedroom door looking at us and half of his face was either burned off or rotting off. As if that wasn't bad enough, I dreamed there was a demon in my room and I was praying for protection. It was so real that I'm not positive I was asleep. Very creepy. Obviously, this doesn't go well with the theory that Dan went to Heaven and I'm very disturbed about it. I don't even want to go to sleep tonight. Any thoughts?

aw joey....:o

i certainly do not interpret dreams but i know dan is in heaven-no doubt.

your dreams can merely be telling you that your life has been a nightmare w/o him there....if these noc terrors persist, do see your doctor and maybe s/he can prescribe a sleep aid so you can sleep w/o interruption. how awful for you. but don't doubt for 1 moment that dan isn't in heaven.

perhaps speaking with a grief counsellor would help?

pm me anytime; i'll always listen.

leslie xo

Dearest Joey,

I've had you in my thoughts and prayers. It's good for youto get back to your normal activities, but don't spread your self too thin. You need to rest in the Lord and give your self time to heal. It's not in God's nature to give you a vision like the ones you had, to tell you that your DH was in hell. I think you're right in discerning that it was from the father of all lies. He loves to get people upset and their eyes off the Lord. As a King's kid you have the authority to get rid of him in Christ's name and have your peace. Keep faith and feel free to PM me any time. God bless and keep you.

Marilyn

Specializes in Cardiac/Telemetry.
Dearest Joey,

I've had you in my thoughts and prayers. It's good for youto get back to your normal activities, but don't spread your self too thin. You need to rest in the Lord and give your self time to heal. It's not in God's nature to give you a vision like the ones you had, to tell you that your DH was in hell. I think you're right in discerning that it was from the father of all lies. He loves to get people upset and their eyes off the Lord. As a King's kid you have the authority to get rid of him in Christ's name and have your peace. Keep faith and feel free to PM me any time. God bless and keep you.

Marilyn

Absolutely agree. You know the father of all lies is trying to take away the peace that God has provided you with. Don't let him win. He's trying to take your faith and your peace in God. Know that if God is with you, then who against you? God is there for you. Just do a powerful prayer tonight before you go to sleep and put your dreams and thoughts in God's hands. Those dreams are lies of the devil. Always trust in God. God bless you and I'm there for you, sister if you need to talk.

Mave.

thinking of you ... hugs.............

Specializes in Psych, Med/Surg, Home Health, Oncology.

Dear Joey

I have been thinking about you and your little girl! I'm so glad you wrote.

You must be terrified!! I totally agree with everyone above. I just want to repeat that if this persists, please see you Doctor. you need rest to deal with everything. Your little girl needs you in the best possible shape & to get there you MUST be well-rested!!

I'll continue to keep you & JoEllen in my prayers.

Mary Ann

Specializes in Nursing assistant.

So sorry you are going through this. When my son was sick for a long time, I had a dream very similar to this one. I now believe it was sort of a post tramatic stress thing, we had so many scares, and sometimes it seemed so hopeless. You have not only had an enormous loss, you have also survived tremendous stress, and now you are going through the stress of living without him.

Though you have handled this very very well, there still need to be time and assistance for healing. In addition to medical help, consider a pastor to meet with regularly for a while to voice you emotions, and to pray with.

Don't "just" go to bed at night, but take some time meditating on verses that are comforting to you. Some sleep medication could really help, because if you get sleep deprived, your coping abilities will suffer.

God Bless!

Joey, so good to hear from you. I know you were worrying at one point that Dan might not get to heaven because he had not articulated to you that he had accepted Jesus as his personal savior. So your dreams could be the subconscious worry that you still have about all of that. Are you keeping up with Scripture reading and fellowship? Now more than ever you need to rely on these things to help you get from day to day.

Honey, I believe that God loves us so much that He will give us every opportunity to be with Him when we die. You may not have heard Dan speak the words, but it sounds like his life was on the right path and he was good and loving. Jesus must have taken him by the hand when he died, and Dan being the good man that he was said to Jesus "I believe in you." God is a God of love. Dan is in heaven; I believe that. :icon_hug:

I agree with Tencat. Remember how you said Dan passed peacefully and that you sensed no evil in the room. I know that Dan, in his heart, accepted the Lord's gift of eternal life. God is full of mercy. And many prayers were said on his behalf. God answers prayer and is faithful to those that love Him. You will see Dan again, whole and in Heaven waiting for you. Keep faith, Sister, and don't let the evil one rob you of your peace in Christ by putting doubts in your mind.

Marilyn

You guys are so great. I wish I could meet every one of you in person! I called my pastor and had him pray with me on the phone. He said that many people have told him of similar experiences and basically all of the things that you all have said. I know I'm at a weak point now. The crises are over and I have every night to sit here and think. Sometimes thinking is just not good! I have so much homework to catch up on, boards to study for, and ewww you should see my house! So I have plenty of stuff to do at night. Just lacking enthusiasm now. It is kind of hard to adjust to mellow after chaos for so long. I did sleep fairly well last night-no dreams. My pastor and my best friend both told me that if I get wigged out, they have a spare bedroom ready and waiting for me and little Jo. I tried sleep aids when my dad died. They either make me sleep for days or give me worse nightmares. I think I just need to focus on God...He got me this far. I doubt He plans to let me go this road alone. (certainly evidenced by you guys that refuse to forget me!) Thanks so much.

Specializes in Cardiac/Telemetry.
You guys are so great. I wish I could meet every one of you in person! I called my pastor and had him pray with me on the phone. He said that many people have told him of similar experiences and basically all of the things that you all have said. I know I'm at a weak point now. The crises are over and I have every night to sit here and think. Sometimes thinking is just not good! I have so much homework to catch up on, boards to study for, and ewww you should see my house! So I have plenty of stuff to do at night. Just lacking enthusiasm now. It is kind of hard to adjust to mellow after chaos for so long. I did sleep fairly well last night-no dreams. My pastor and my best friend both told me that if I get wigged out, they have a spare bedroom ready and waiting for me and little Jo. I tried sleep aids when my dad died. They either make me sleep for days or give me worse nightmares. I think I just need to focus on God...He got me this far. I doubt He plans to let me go this road alone. (certainly evidenced by you guys that refuse to forget me!) Thanks so much.

He did get you this far, Joey. You are an angel who has been through a tough battle and He doesn't let His warrior angels fall. You are not alone, for you have Him and us to count on. God bless you and keep praying and keep that watery smile in place. It'll soon become less difficult and God will heal all your wounds.

Mave.

sweet joey,

keep your focus on God, knowing that dan is right there next to Him.

the nightmares and all these horrible feelings will pass.

you need to just give time a chance....and keep on looking forward and up.

God will never, ever let you down. i'm sure you know that.

keep coming to us sweetie.

leslie xo

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