Late Nurses and people who don't have kids Late Nurses and people who don't have kids | allnurses

Late Nurses and people who don't have kids

  1. 2 I need to vent.

    I work in home care for a medically fragile child. I love it. I love the family and the staff. We do not clock in and out. We simply write our times on our notes and they must line up with the other nurses since they won't pay two of us at once.

    The main day shift nurse and I have bonded and I really like her as a person. She is an excellent nurse. We are in the same RN program and I gave her all my study material and videos I bought for $300. I truly like her and I want her to succeed.

    However, she chronically shows up 15-60 min late day after day. The family has asked me more than once to "cut her some slack." She's a single mom. The previous night nurse even went as far as to not document her proper times and didn't get paid for the extra time she was here covering. I refused to do that.

    Ok, I'm not a heartless person. I get it, she's trying to get her kids to school. And if it's once in a while, fine. Anytime I bring it up that I am not ok with constantly staying over *everyone* says, "yeah but she has kids."

    Why is my time less valuable than someone with kids? She can come and go as she pleases? She can't be the first nurse in history to have to get her kids on the bus before work.

    Also, I am working 14 hour shifts for the next two months because she has to leave 2 hours early to get her kids from daycare.

    I complained to my job and they talked to her about making her shift start later so that she could get to work on time. I am fine with that if it's scheduled. She didn't want that. But yesterday she showed up 70 MIN LATE. She didn't even text me until she was 40 min late to say she's be there soon.

    So, I came in at 5pm stayed until 9am because of her tardiness, then had to come back in at 5pm to do it all over again!

    I really like her, and I don't want to ruin a nursing friendship especially with someone I see so often. Im not a fan of awkward shift reports.

    I don't know what to do. If I report her, I look like a child hating jerk. If I don't I have to accept that I'm getting walked all over because my life is somewhat less because I'm not a Mother. She's putting me in such an awkward position! I feel like I can't win!

    Any advice is welcome!
    Last edit by AbigailJo on Nov 2, '16
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  2. 10 Comments

  3. Visit  JustBeachyNurse profile page
    #1 3
    Falsified time sheets is not "covering" but Medicaid fraud. It's a huge compliance issue and you don't want to be caugt. I've changed cases for that reason. If she's to selfish to change shift start to a time she can actually be there...Id ask to change cases.

    I'm a single mom. I have no car right now. I switched to nights so I don't have to worry about school issues at work. I needed by shifts adjusted so I can get my kid to school and my mom have her car. Some shifts are moved by a half hour or a colleague does me a favor and starts 15 minutes early so I can miss the school bus parade.

    Your coworker is NOT going to change. She's careless, selfish and chronically late with a million excuses. In my agency she would receive progrsssibe discipline and refusing to alter shifts to one she can actually work would not be tolerated. The fact that everyone else tolerates this insensitive behavior and condones time sheet fraud (it's not a favor its fraud. There was a nurse I refuse to work if she's following me as she's minimum 15-75 minutes late and insists she is not late! Others were tired and just wrote out scheduled not actual hours. When I complained as it affected my ability to get someplace on time and prevented me from taking an extra shift as a favor. They took notice quick and the other nurses were counseled about time sheets.

    ask to move to another case at least part of the time. To preserve your sanity and reduce the risk for when the parents or a coworker gets fed up and reports the fraud
  4. Visit  nursel56 profile page
    #2 5
    I've worked with many responsible mothers who keep their agreements, so the "she has kids" excuse is a total crock.

    Having been fed-up by similar situations in the past, I can say that there is a mindset among most well-meaning and caring nurses that creeps up gradually. You start feeling guilty about things that were never your responsibility in the first place. You become easy prey for the selfish users and manipulators.

    I know. I've been there, too. It (usually) gets worse. The more you give, the more they'll take.

    For the rest, I agree with JustBeachyNurse. Don't allow anyone to tell you doing something illegal or unethical is OK. When you leave a job like that, knowing you never compromised your values could be the only thing you still have.

    Wishing you the best!
    Last edit by nursel56 on Nov 2, '16
  5. Visit  Libby1987 profile page
    #3 6
    First, it's better to deal with somethings g like this directly before you become resentful. Resentment will come out in your approach and attitude and then you've put yourself in the light of being disgruntled rather than completely reasonable and justified.

    Here's what I would do, since you have an established relationship with her.. I would speak with the nurse first and tell her, without any sense of misplaced guilt or resentment, "I don't want to chronically stay over, I'm flexible and can go with go with your preference? Would you rather relieve me at 7am or adjust the shifts to a time that you can realistically make?"

    Keep it simple, then be quiet, strong and soft while you wait for her to respond. Don't jump in with explanations. When she gives you a response it's either going to be absurd which you will receive as the ridiculousness it is and tell her that you both will meet with your manager or she will choose one which then you will notify your manager of your mutually agreed upon plan that she chose as working best for her, and then you will stand strong and not allow your expectations to waiver.

    I can guarantee that there are people for whom she is not late, she knows where there is flexibility and where there is not. It may have little to do with lack of respect and more to do with the path of least resistance for a mom who is a little over faced and juggling more than what she possess the backbone. If her kid is more challenging to work with in the morning than you then child wins the time monopolization. If you are the strong one, she'll get that kid to school on time. (Or whatever is the underlying causing of her chronic lateness).

    ETA Be sure not to frame your reason as you "can't stay" or "lack of fairness". It is absolutely reasonable to not want to stay over on an planned consistent basis when there is a solution. You will come across as weak and whining if you try to justify, when you don't need to. You want to come across as the reasonable one and the less you say or try to rationalize, the better.
  6. Visit  Libby1987 profile page
    #4 0
    Quote from Libby1987
    First, it's better to deal with things like this directly before you become resentful. Resentment will come out in your approach and attitude and then you've put yourself in the light of being disgruntled rather than completely reasonable and justified.

    Here's what I would do, since you have an established relationship with her.. I would speak with this nurse first and tell her, without any sense of misplaced guilt or resentment, "I don't want to chronically stay over, I'm flexible and can go with your preference. Would you rather relieve me at 7am or adjust the shifts to a time that you can realistically make?"

    Keep it simple, then be quiet, strong and soft while you wait for her to respond. Don't jump in with explanations. When she gives you a response it's either going to be absurd which you will receive as the ridiculousness it is and tell her that the both of you will meet with your manager or she will choose one of the options which then you will notify your manager of your mutually agreed upon plan that she chose as working best for her, and then you will stand strong and not allow your expectations to waiver.

    I can guarantee that there are people for whom she is not late, she knows where there is flexibility and where there is not. It may have little to do with lack of respect and more to do with the path of least resistance for a mom who is a little over faced and juggling more than what she possesses the backbone for. If her kid is more challenging to work with in the morning than you then the child wins the time monopolization. If you are the strong one, she'll get that kid to school on time. (Or whatever is the underlying cause of her chronic lateness).

    ETA Be sure not to frame your reason as you "can't stay" or "lack of fairness". It is absolutely reasonable to not want to stay over on an unplanned basis when there is a solution. You will come across as weak and whining if you try to justify when you don't need to. You want to come across as the reasonable one and the less you say or try to rationalize, the better.
    Fixed the numerous errors.
  7. Visit  AbigailJo profile page
    #5 1
    Libby, this is amazing advice. Thank you so much for your help!
  8. Visit  caliotter3 profile page
    #6 3
    You chart the time you arrive and the time you leave, period. If it does not coincide with the other nurse's "concierge" hours, well, too bad. When your agency gives you grief, tell them that you expect to be properly paid. If they refuse to do so, then make a visit or phone call to the Labor Board and file a wage complaint. You are within your rights. Expect that the agency will start to respect you or that you will need to find a new employer. Stand your ground and do not argue the issue with the clients. They can not force you to go against the labor laws of your state or the laws regarding insurance fraud. End of story.
  9. Visit  Elektra6 profile page
    #7 4
    I see this ALL THE TIME. It is rampant in my cases too. I know how frustrating this can be. The clients tell me so and so comes in a half hour late every day or the night nurse came in 45 min late. I am sorry but it is inexcusable to be chronically late. Everyone understands bad weather or an occasional emergency, but some nurses become lazy and have a lack of respect for not only the job but for their coworkers as well. What Libby said is true, there are probably clients/nurses she does not do this to. They know who they can manipulate. The clients either don't know it's a crime, want to be nice, or just don't want to deal with the problem. My agency never does anything unless the clients complain. Luckily, I now work cases where I relieve another nurse and am the last nurse on duty before family relieves me.

    I think these agencies need to take a stand. I came into work last week and my clinical manager was there visiting the night nurse. She saw me arrive at 6:50. Maybe they could come out and do spot checks?
  10. Visit  WKShadowRN profile page
    #8 3
    I worked at an agency once who had to be thoroughly investigated because one nurse falsified visit records (multiple times). The only reason it was caught is because a home visit was charged when a patient was hospitalized. Medicare knew that was nearly impossible.

    It is not fun to be under the microscope at any rate, much less for someone else's failure to abide by ethical standards and common decency.
  11. Visit  luvmyc profile page
    #9 1
    I can speak from both sides as a nurse and one who received home health for my son. Agencies are very clear with the parents also-you cannot sign incorrect time. The parents are very much in the wrong also.
  12. Visit  AbigailJo profile page
    #10 2
    Thank you very much everyone for your advice! I have left this case and told my nursing manager exactly why. Thanks again!

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