How do I deal with this patient's family members? - page 4

I am a CNA in FL and would like you nurses opinion on this matter, if you will. I have been with this Home Health Agency since December, and have had this particular patient for 5 months now. She... Read More

  1. by   muffin7
    You could always tell the daughter what your plans are (to quit). Maybe she will get after her brother and he will straighten up. The thing they don't realize is that they could get someone who is rude right back to them. They could be going from the fire into the frying pan, so to speak (I think that is how it is said).

    You are so nice I would think that they would really appreciate you. I know the mom does, but not her ungrateful children.

    Try asserting yourself, if you have to go back.
  2. by   morango576
    I just called the agency, talked to the office manager.... I told her I don't feel comfortable going back there anymore. I explained the situation, she knew about the issue with the daughter and the son, but didn't know it got so bad like it is now. I told her I'm so stressed out and I feel bad for leaving my patient who I really like, but I can't handle those family members anymore. Anyway, she called the daughter and put me on hold for like 10 min. I'm sure the daughter is extremely upset that the agency called her. She had told me if I would call my agency to complain about these issues (that she said "SHE" can handle better), she would talk to her mom's care manager and drop the agency altogether. I told this to my office manager just now, she didn't like that... she said "oh well, that's her problem if she is upset and wants to drop our agency." So, she told me to go back tomorrow until Friday so that they can find a replacement, I said "I am sorry but I do not want to go back tomorow because I don't want to get into a BIG argument". Knowing the daughter well, she WILL be there early in the morning ready to argue and who knows what else. I don't want to go through that. I told my office manager all this. It already created a hard situation by her (my office manager) calling the daughter, and I'm sure if I show up tomorrow she will eat me up. I told her "I don't want to go back, please". She said she will call me in the morning before I leave (I told her I'm out of the door at 7:45am). What good will that do anyway? I still don't want to go. Should I call in sick? There is a 24-7 line that you can call in sick at least 8 hr before the start of your shift. I don't want to do that, neither do I want to go back into that house. WHAT NOW????
  3. by   morango576
    Hi Muffin, thanks so much for your kind words!
    I hate to say that... but I DO hope they get a mean CNA. Those who don't put up with crap. I mean, good to the patient, but don't take crap home from family members, you know.
    I don't want to quit my job!!! I also have another wonderful patient, and the family members are really really really nice to me. They have called the agency just to tell them how much they appreciate me.
    But about talking to the daughter and her straightening Bozo up... I doubt that would happen. She winds up taking his side... she said he's handicapped, hasn't had a woman in a while, etc. Like really.... what have I got to do with all this???
    To me, they have the sick abuse pattern in the house, and they don't understand why I don't fit in. Clearly, I'm different from them. I don't tolerate abuse and mistreatment and lack of respect.
    I just want to disappear right now. I'm fed up with them 2.
  4. by   morango576
    Can the agency fire me for refusing to go there when I have clearly stated my reasons why?? I have been telling them the environment isn't good... I don't feel safe.
    I want to stay in good terms with the agency, but at the same time I don't want to take any more crap!! I know if show up there tomorrow I will only hear crap. I don't want it!!!
  5. by   caliotter3
    The agency may not formally fire you, but they may stop calling you for work, thus "constructively terminating" you, in the jargon of the employment department. They will hope that you don't catch on quick enough to think to apply for unemployment benefits. Do not go back to that house after what has now transpired. You have done all you can do. Call the number right now and say that you can not work at that house and state you will be seeing your doctor today for "job related" stress. That will shut up the agency, because they don't want to be paying for your short term disability. That is what I would do. If your manager had any thought for your well being, she would have not pushed you to finish the week. They knew this was coming. They aren't dumb. Good luck.
  6. by   morango576
    I don't have a doctor and can't afford one right now. I don't have health insurance. If I say something about seeing a doctor, they will want to see doctor's paperwork confirming that. I can't afford it.
    Then I also have another patient in the afternoon, I did not want to miss going there. It would be weird to call them right now saying I don't feel good for the morning, but I will be better for the afternoon. Or that I won't be feeling good until Friday evening when I'm done with my week for that particular patient.
    I don't think they would be paying for my short term disability... based on what ? My 6-month anniversary is coming up in 2 weeks or so anyway. I'm sorry, I don't know how these things really work.
    I agree that she should have thought about me, in the situation I'm in now. She probably had a taste of "poison" and rage over the phone with the daughter a while back.... does she think that tomorrow she will be hugging me good morning??
    I'm scared of going there. I know she'll be there waiting for me. She's that type that waits for you sitting on the couch and makes you sit and have a talk. I hate that. I'm not there to argue or talk to her. I'm there for her mom. Since this is no longer possible, I don't think I belong there.
  7. by   caliotter3
    If a doctor says you are too stressed to work then you are too stressed to work. You can't claim you are sick for just part of the day. You have to call in and just state straight up that you will not be going back to that case. Stand your ground. If the agency holds this against you, you are not dealing with a good agency. The only time an agency gets upset with an employee is when they are so picky that every other client is a 'no go'. Then, they stop bothering with that employee. Call in, reiterate that you won't be seeing the problematic case, but you will be seeing your afternoon client. Continue to look for a new case with another agency.
  8. by   morango576
    I know I can't claim that I'm sick just for half a day. The thing is, I can't say I'm going to see a doctor because 1-I'll be lying and 2-I really don't have the money; therefore, they would require me to present a doctor's note that I'm too stressed to work.
    well... The agency is closed. I mean, the office I report to work every week. The 24-7 line takes emergency calls and call-in-sick, etc. I don't know if they would accept "I am no longer going back to this case". They will tell me to call the office after 9am next morning and tell them that. Thing is, I would have to be at this patient's house at 8am, 1 hr before the office opens. If I just don't show, I'll be fired for not calling in. You know what I'm talking about? I'm just so confused, I don't know what to do right now... i just know I definitely won't be going back there. Either I call in sick... which really I am getting so nervously sick my stomach is turning. If I just call in sick with this patient, I know the office manager will be ringing my house at 9am after getting the message from the 24-7 line, and will be asking me how I'm doing.
    It's just all so confusing. All I want to do is be a good help to my patients. Why do things get so complicated like that??
  9. by   muffin7
    This is ridiculous. I feel so bad for all of this unnecessary stress that not only the family has put you under, but your manager. She does care if they cancel her agancy. Who is she fooling, by telling you to go back for the rest of the week.

    At this point it is really not safe for you and you should call APS. Every APS has an after hours line.

    Cali-Isn't there something Morango can do with re: to the safety issues and the fact that she has been telling her manager for a couple of weeks. Seems like there should be some sort of labor law against putting an employee into a dangerous environment.

    You sould say that you are sick to your stomach over the your physical well-being and that you are sure it is from the stress of this family and the fact that you are not being backed up by your employee.
  10. by   muffin7
    I meant you are not being backed up by your employer. Also, if you let them know that you are not feeling well about going back to the bad environment (due to safety reasons) then that keeps the door open for your afternoon job.
  11. by   caliotter3
    Just by reading your posts I can pick up that you are stressed. I don't know what a doctor would say about this. If you don't want to go to a doctor, fine. Just quit the case. Call the after hours number and state that you won't be going to the case. Do that now. Nobody will be suprised. Deal with the agency later. Chances are high that there might be one and only one more conversation about it, and that is it. Call first thing in the morning and remind that staffing coordinator that you are off this case and you need more work. Meanwhile, continue to look for work with another agency. That is how home health employees stay working. Good luck to you.
  12. by   morango576
    Calling them right now... on hold
  13. by   morango576
    I just called the 24-7 line of my agency, saying, because of safety reasons due to family disagreements, I won't be going to that case. She took note of everything. I am SURE my office manager will be calling me first thing when she gets there in the morning. Do you think she can fire me??