I have been nursing for about 12 years as an LPN in homecare, and to be honest, I have hated it most of that time. The only things that have kept me from walking away a hundred times are the (mostly) wonderful people who are my patients and the need for a steady paycheck.
Two years ago I took a four month medical leave due to depression and anxiety. It made things crystal clear to me - that I needed to get out of this job but needed to be realistic and practical about it. I dropped to part time in order to cope with the stress, and amped up my side business in foot care that I have had for almost nine years (There is another story there, lol). This has been effective until recently.
In twelve years I have seen many managers, CEO's etc. come and go and have watched each of them tear down existing, working policies/programs in order to make their mark. The most recent plan has seen the hiring of 5 new managers and the disposing of 14 lower level employees. We had a nurses meeting this week to tell us of all the additional responsibilities we will have to take on as a result. There is NO time in our day for any added work. We already get attitude when we insist on a lunch break (nurses shouldn't expect breaks you know). Many nurses, some there for over 20 years, flat-out told management they would be leaving. They were met with blank stares and silence.
I try to support my fellow nurses when I can but we have many new nurses, both new grads and experienced, and I am getting very tired of cleaning up "messes", finishing others' paperwork, placing urgent supply orders because others neglected to do it, calming irate case managers over situations not of my making, etc. I have had clients tell me that other nurses have told them they "don't order supplies, etc", which IS all of our jobs. I am sick of getting no support from management. The list of my complaints go on and on
My anxiety and panic attacks are slowly returning and I refuse to fall back into a depression over this job.
Today I decided to call a local service agency that showed interest in having me do foot care for them on contract, and will quit dabbling in my business and make a go of it. A month from now I plan to be GONE from this agency, and the thought is so gratifying!
Sad that we nurses so often put ourselves last, when life is so darn short!
