I am in my last year of nursing and it's not even a full year. I have been so low throughout this journey. I have wanted to commit suicide several times due to school stress and I feel like my life is always a spiral out of control. I can not figure out if it's nursing, my life, or everything put together. I have been sort of pushed into nursing by my family growing up but never knew if I would like it. I then went to medical assistant school, then went to community college for nursing... got my CNA.. worked in a nrsing home for a while.. then went to a university and now doing full blown clinicals and going for a BSN. I never truly HATED nursing because I love people and I have a huge heart but... I don't handle stress very well. I was never taught very good coping skills and stress makes me down right ill physically and mentally. All nursing is .. is stress. I don't really like the high school attitudes of most of the nurses I have worked with and it just seems so tedious. I don't know what to do and I am always fighting with myself over money, the career being better outside of school (so it is rumored), people saying there are other options (which I don't know if I would like those either), etc. These thoughts become so overwhelming that I feel like there is no reason for me to live because happiness will never be an option for me. I have no real supports like most people have a family of sorts but I don't really. Emotionally I'm bone dry with the exception of my fiance' which he can only help so much. I just don't know what to do and I am so tired of battling with the reasons why I should and should not. Physically I am tired all of the time and the tiredness makes me dizzy and sometimes I feel like I am going to faint. I have lost weight, dieted, exercised, etc and have been on meds at times for depression and it really didn;t help. I was still conflicted and still hurting. I know I am not the only one that feels this way but there never is a real clear answer. I already feel so alone most nights and nursing is all I really have to be proud of... what can I do?