I cry all the time.......what next??????

UM Review RN, ASN, RN · Sep 10, 2008

First, please accept this, because you sure do need it: :icon_hug:

Second, please see if in or near your town, you can get hooked up with counseling that is affordable for you. You are grieving the loss of your job, you're in a transitional state, and you need good solid resources to help you through it.

Is there no program there that might be based on sliding scale or ability to pay?

Is there a hospital or facility that might be willing to train you to a different area?

My personal advice: I have learned to look at my life differently since watching the movie, Fired! In that movie, different famous people relate a time in their lives when they were fired. While all grieved the loss, nothing is perfect, nothing is forever. And I found myself thinking about my failures and how eventually I used them as a springboard that got me where I am today. Ultimately I was being forced to change, and began embrace to it, and set new goals for myself. Fear of taking risks held me to the past, but I when push came to shove, I realized that had I been able to stay where I was, I would not have the nice life that I have now.

You can do it!

But seriously, you need to see a counselor, if only to get linked to resources that can help you cope emotionally and financially.

Please keep us updated. We cannot be your sole support, but we certainly can understand and support you on your journey.

Best wishes to you.

willy2 · Sep 10, 2008

I agree with everything Angie had to say. Really good advice. From personal experience i would suggest trying to find a counselor or group who specializes in CBT aka cognitive therapy.

Hang in there:heartbeat

SuesquatchRN, BSN, RN · Sep 10, 2008

Sounds like clinical depression to me.

Get thyself to your PCP and see if you can get some relief with an a/d and look into some counseling.

I've been there. Big hugs to you.

Liddle Noodnik · Sep 11, 2008

What happens when a nurse needs someone to take care of them and they have no one?

I guess what you do is "treat yourself like a sick friend". What is the first thing you would suggest to this friend? The second thing?

for example, does your spouse know what you are experiencing? and if you can't speak w/ him, is there someone else to whom you can spill EVERYthing?

What would you tell a friend who said she had "no one" or "couldn't" get help?

It might be good to call an anonymous help line and talk it over w/ them - they aren't obligated to act on your behalf UNLESS you are suicidal or homicidal so you can speak w/ them w/ impunity.

I do feel for you as I have been in those pits many times in the past, and although it does feel like it will last forever, it doesn't.

God bless you and hey - there is another avenue. I don't know your relationship w/ God but that is the best place to start - and if you don't have one, get one. It really has been essential for me.

Take good care, and I mean it. Don't worry about everyone else first, at this point; YOU are the one "bleeding to death" so take care of it, k? Or another analogy: If you are in an aircraft that is going down, you are instructed to give the 02 to yourself FIRST - so you don't pass out getting the 02 on the others. Same principle.

xo

Nursebarebari · Sep 12, 2008

Wow, you surely need help, and I think you take Angie O' Plasty RN advise. And also, please discuss this with your husband. If things don't improve, then maybe you should consider moving to a different town and start afresh. Try and make friends or join a support. You never know until you seek help, there are thousands of people feeling the same way you do. BIG HUGS FROM ME TO YOU AND I WISH YOU ALL THE BEST. :heartbeat:heartbeat:heartbeat

k777 · Sep 12, 2008

I agree with Zoeboboey!!!! Please allow the Lord to be your strength in this situation. I know how you feel, even though I'm 17, I still understand. I've had the feeling where you just don't know what to do. These situations are all being thrown at you and you feel like you have no control over any of them. You just want to throw your hands up and say "I give up!" Trust me, I know. But you know what? You'll get through this, I promise. I know it may not seem like it right now, but you will. My dad's a pastor, and I'll never forget something He said during a sermon:

God never allows you to be in situations you can't overcome with His strength!

In another words, God knows each one of our strengths and weaknesses, so He knows how much you can handle. He won't allow something to happen to you that you won't be able to get through. If you allow Him to be your source of strenght, you'll get through it!

My advice to you: try to stay close to your husband and kids. God gave you your family for support. They are those people that will comfort you when everything seems to be flying at you, ones who will love you unconditionally and you can love them back just the same way. Family is something that is deeply treasured, so stay close to them and just show them how much you love them! Which I'm sure you do. Please keep me updated on your situations. I'm really concerned/interested in how things are going for you. I'm so glad I came across your message, because my heart went out to you when I read that and I felt that I should reply. So please feel free to contact me with any updates you might have...

PS. I'm sorry if anything was repeated...I typed a long message and I accidently pushed something and it all got deleted, so I apologize. I honestly didn't mean to do that. But please have a great night and remember that I'm thinking about you! :wink2:

Guest717236 · Sep 17, 2008

Hugs to you, thank you for sharing your story with us.

I can not improve on all of the important steps for you to

take in the posts above.

Find the affordable counseling in a town/city outside of your

own and be consistent with the appointments.

Difficult as it is, get back to your routine. ADLs, the makeup,

eat your meals, small frequent to start. You can do this

for yourself. Being consistent will help you not lose yourself in

all the sudden changes.

You have identified in one post several life stress events that

people may have over several years. You have a situation

where they have all arrived at once.

Be the kind and caring nurse you are-----now with yourself.

In the meantime, get to a clergy/pastor if it is too difficult

to get the mhc.

Find a clinic with affordable medical care and start there.

Realize that the DOC did you a favor to release you from

the stress, pressure and chaos that involves caring for

this unique (dysfunctional) population.

Forgive yourself-many would not have stayed a day in that

atmosphere. Recognize that to be in that environment,

you have been subjected to verbal abuse from staff and patients.

Give yourself permission to put self care first, return to health

and pursue new opportunities.

God will guide you through to the right opportunity. Have faith.

Do not practice nursing until you are well. Do not risk losing

your license. This is a temporary life circumstance and

take the time you need to get well. Find other non nursing

work if need be for now. With your years of experience

you can jump right back into nursing when ready.

Nurses are people too...

Hugs, please update us

Jahra

Guest717236 · Sep 21, 2008

Hi docpsychrn42,

Its been 10 days since your first post. Thinking of you.

Please update us when you can.

Jahra

PS ..You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

softstorms · Sep 25, 2008

will just say this "BEEN THERE....DONE THAT!!!! chat when you can

docpsychrn42, ASN, RN · Sep 26, 2008

Jahra and all my nursing family,

Things are no better than they were I am sorry to say. I have spent countless hours on the computer, filling out applications, sending resumes and going to interviews. Because my speciality is in psych, I can't find a job in other areas. They aren't willing to train a 44 yr old! The bills are piling up, we are getting ready to lose our vehicles, the landlord is close to evicting us and I don't know what else to do. I would work anywhere right now but unemployment pays more than a minimum wage job plus gas! It saves us money for me to not drive anywhere unless I have to and that adds to the depression! I am so sick of this house I could scream. There are days like I said before that I can't even get out of bed to get dressed because there is nothing for me to do and I am not going anywhere. I have a daughter that plays softball for high school and that is the ONLY thing that I have been involved with that gets me out of the house. And then the interviews that I am able to get. I am tired. I am severely depressed and I know it. But I am hoping that it's situational only. Please keep me in your prayers because you nurses are all that I have right now. Thank you! Have a great week and weekend. :scrying:

Liddle Noodnik · Sep 26, 2008

Jahra and all my nursing family,
Things are no better than they were I am sorry to say. I have spent countless hours on the computer, filling out applications, sending resumes and going to interviews. Because my speciality is in psych, I can't find a job in other areas. They aren't willing to train a 44 yr old! The bills are piling up, we are getting ready to lose our vehicles, the landlord is close to evicting us and I don't know what else to do. I would work anywhere right now but unemployment pays more than a minimum wage job plus gas! It saves us money for me to not drive anywhere unless I have to and that adds to the depression! I am so sick of this house I could scream. There are days like I said before that I can't even get out of bed to get dressed because there is nothing for me to do and I am not going anywhere. I have a daughter that plays softball for high school and that is the ONLY thing that I have been involved with that gets me out of the house. And then the interviews that I am able to get. I am tired. I am severely depressed and I know it. But I am hoping that it's situational only. Please keep me in your prayers because you nurses are all that I have right now. Thank you! Have a great week and weekend.

I am glad you posted! It's hard when people write and they are in dire straits, and then we never hear back, and we wonder!

Have you tried calling the local anonymous hotline?

I do know that hospitals have programs where their charges are based on income (and if there's no income, they don't charge). You are in a tenuous position right now, they could not turn you down. There are hospital affiliated outpatient services I'm sure = call the hotline and they will have numbers for you.

Hang in there, just tackle one day at a time -