For extroverts...please don't ask me - page 2

"Why?" "Why am I quiet?" "Why am I alone?" Stop. Please just stop. Stop asking what's wrong. Stop asking for my problem. Stop making me feel inhuman. Stop making me feel inadequate. Stop... Read More

  1. Visit  kht124 profile page
    2
    Quote from hazyblue
    "Why?"
    "Why am I quiet?"
    "Why am I alone?"
    Stop. Please just stop.
    Stop asking what's wrong.
    Stop asking for my problem.
    Stop making me feel inhuman.
    Stop making me feel inadequate.
    Stop acting like I do not belong here.
    It makes me start to think that I'm bad.
    I don't even see the need to bother me.
    I do care for people as much as you do.
    I also do work like the rest of you all.
    You say that I do not laugh enough.
    But dear, you are not even funny.
    You say that I rarely talk much.
    You don't talk to me neither.
    Do you understand?
    So please, please,
    ****.

    - an introvert nurse

    It's so sad that even amongst nurses, introverts are some kind of "abomination." Please you're making some of us miserable...

    I can relate to this. I have always been an introvert. However, at work, I try really hard to input my opinions and talk to my co-workers, just so I am not seen as the "weird one". At school, sometimes, I lapse and revert to my introverted nature and can sense how uneasy that makes some people around me feel (no body likes the awkward silence). Now, I go out of my nature to be "part of the group". It makes life much easier, it's not entirely fair, but that's how it is.


    p.s. it doesn't help, either, that mass murderers and serial killers usually get described as shy, quiet, a lone, odd and such...gives such a bad connotation to introverts.
    Altra and anotherone like this.
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  3. Visit  DoeRN profile page
    1
    With Myers-Briggs I'm an INTJ and it's crazy that I'm a nurse. But I have stop fighting it (convincing myself that I should stick with nursing) and I'm going back to school so I can get a job where I don't have to talk to and interact with a bunch of people. OP people ask me all the time why are you so quiet? I'm a little older and I respond saying I talk when I have something to say. I don't like a lot of small talk. People that know me just leave me alone. I'm not an outcast it's just most people get on my nerves and like someone said a lot of social interaction is exhausting. That's why I only work 1 or 2 days a week. I can't take much more than that now. If my job offered 8 hour shifts trust me I would work just one or 2 of those a week.

    I'm sure I do make people uncomfortable but I'm not going to change to make them like me more. And the ironic thing I get a lot if compliments from patients. I tell them what they need to know, listen to their concerns, make sure they are comfortable and let them rest if possible. I speak to the family but I cut out all that small talk. I focus on the patient.

    Sent from my iPhone using allnurses.com
    anotherone likes this.
  4. Visit  DoeRN profile page
    0
    Quote from GrnTea
    You are SOOO going to love this! I know nobody's gonna believe me when I say this, but... this is me.

    Video Link: http://www.ted.com/talks/susan_cain_the_power_of_introverts.html
    I REALLY enjoyed this video! I wish everyone could see it.

    Sent from my iPhone using allnurses.com
  5. Visit  kcicc profile page
    0
    I would just tell anyone who asked that you are more of a thinker than a talker. God knows, we would all benefit if more people thought before they spoke! Rock on sister, keep doing what YOU do best!
  6. Visit  Hygiene Queen profile page
    3
    INFJ here.

    Even my friends (who are life-long... everyone else is merely an "acquaintance") know I can only tolerate socializing for so long before I will shut down.
    If I have a friend or two over (I prefer 1:1 or very small groups) then I must recouperate (by withdrawing from others) for a good day or two.
    Too many people and I can't focus and it's like the stimulus is way way too much... it's almost painful.
    I can't think nor verbalize... I can't translate the thought to spoken words.

    I am viewed as eccentric... oh, and a nursing school classmate told me I talked like a "retard". Nice.
    I do try to be polite and friendly, but how friendly I get depends on the vibes I get from you.
    I can smell insincerity a mile away and it shuts me down.

    Oh, introverts are marvelous observers and pick up subtleties far better than others... we're kinda... spooky.

    One thing that will shut me down really fast: tell me to smile.
    It almost makes me angry when someone tells me to smile.

    I function at work, but it can be a challenge and it's a challenge I brave because I am afraid of what I would be like if I did not force myself to interact more.
    Nursing requires communication with many folks so it's like therapy for me, I guess .

    Just saying, I get it, OP.
    I get it.
    Last edit by Hygiene Queen on Feb 12, '13
    NYC68, ArrowRN, and imintrouble like this.
  7. Visit  CheesePotato profile page
    1
    Introvert here. Although my writings and ramblings are long, I speak when I must, when the need outweighs my own desire for silence.

    I am a ninja--comfortable moving among the masses, ducking and weaving away and through, able to throw up the smoke screen of perfect extrovert imitation, capable of fading away into the background to watch. I use your echoing calls of "Are you okay?" as a form of radar....when they stop, I know I have vanished--the pings of your words no longer reverberating off my hull.

    Or, as I like to think of myself in my more sinister moments, a Cobra coiled in a basket.

    Please, by all means, continue poking the woven reed covering. Better yet, rip the lid off and root around inside with your fingers prodding my scaled hide.

    I may nuzzle harmlessly at your hand--a reminder that I am aware, watching, and have dubbed you harmless.

    Or I may rear up and spit venom in your eye.

    In my moments of repose, such as when I have a mouthful of chicken flavored Ramen AmAzInG coiled around my fangs, a ripple of hood and eye contact will serve as warning.

    And at the end of my day, I slip home to the sanctity of my basket.



    Quote from VivaLasViejas
    Can't seem to celebrate anything without 76 trombones in the big parade, can't seem to fail without a spectacular display of fireworks.
    Snorted my damn A&W slap-bang into my left frontal sinus.

    Love it. Love your brain.
    Last edit by CheesePotato on Feb 12, '13
    VivaLasViejas likes this.
  8. Visit  Clementia profile page
    0
    Great post, CheesePotato. I'm an introvert as well -- I thrive on silence and solitude. I think a snake is the perfect metaphor for most of us quiet types -- an observant, silent creature, sufficient to itself.
  9. Visit  mizfradd profile page
    0
    To GRNTEA:

    What a great video, thanks for posting it!!

    Love her statement, "No wilderness...no revelation."

    Soooo totally deep!
  10. Visit  ArrowRN profile page
    2
    Quote from hazyblue
    "Why?"
    "Why am I quiet?"
    "Why am I alone?"
    Stop. Please just stop.
    Stop asking what's wrong.
    Stop asking for my problem.
    Stop making me feel inhuman.
    Stop making me feel inadequate.
    Stop acting like I do not belong here.
    It makes me start to think that I'm bad.
    I don't even see the need to bother me.
    I do care for people as much as you do.
    I also do work like the rest of you all.
    You say that I do not laugh enough.
    But dear, you are not even funny.
    You say that I rarely talk much.
    You don't talk to me neither.
    Do you understand?
    So please, please,
    ****.

    - an introvert nurse

    It's so sad that even amongst nurses, introverts are some kind of "abomination." Please you're making some of us miserable...
    Woooo thanks you so much for this.... I am an introvert nurse student and it really ticks me of that sometimes my instructors think I'm too shy to be a nurse, when that is not the case. I'm actually not shy at all, I'm just totally misundetstood! I too can make a great nurse manager someday, just because I don't blab everything thing I smell touch and see does not mean I am a poor communicator!

    Anyways thank you for standing up for us
    anotherone and Hygiene Queen like this.
  11. Visit  AnonRNC profile page
    0
    I just saw this image this week, but it seemed like a great summation: A simple explanation of how to interact with introverts - 22 Words
  12. Visit  VivaLasViejas profile page
    0
    Quote from CheesePotato


    Snorted my damn A&W slap-bang into my left frontal sinus.

    Love it. Love your brain.
    So glad to have provided more ammo for your amusement. Just wish my brain loved me like you love it! LOL
  13. Visit  CloudySue profile page
    0
    Quote from GrnTea
    You are SOOO going to love this! I know nobody's gonna believe me when I say this, but... this is me.


    http://www.ted.com/talks/susan_cain_...ntroverts.html

    Wait, I'm confused... this is you? You're Susan Cain? I pictured you a bit older, aka "Crusty Old Bat Society"? Plus I thought you were a nurse, not a lawyer.

    Or... do you mean you can relate to what she's saying?
  14. Visit  wanderlust99 profile page
    0
    I'm an introvert too. We are good listeners, most of the time. And thinkers. Introspective. These all are important and wonderful qualities. Though sometimes I wish I didn't internalize and over anaylze everything.

    I've found at work though I have to at times force myself to interact with some of my coworkers. Smile. Make conversation with them, act interested even if I'm not. God, I sound like I hate people. I really don't. I don't like the idea of changing who you are to make others comfortable, but it's about making things better for yourself at work.


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