Family pushing antidepressants...why won't I agree?? - Page 2

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  1. Feb 26, '12 by
    OP, my heart goes out to you. I have been in your shoes and it's a terrible way to live. I tried pretty much everything you mentioned and those things helped, briefly, but nothing made the depression go away for long. I felt suicidal pretty much all the time. And STILL i wouldn't take the meds--how messed up is that??

    Then one day I hit my wall--I couldn't go on one more day without treatment. I went to work, all the while making my final plans. Thankfully, my emotions got the best of me at work and I ended up breaking down right there. Best thing that ever happened to me, btw(although it didn't feel so good at the time.) My DH took me to a local psych facility for evaluation and I ended up admitting myself. During the admission I was put on meds and I had no choice but to take them or be kicked out. I realized that I really was more desperate to live than to die, so I complied with treatment. That is not to say that it has been an easy thing--it's not. I have a long, long history of noncompliance so I had to learn a new way of living. But I have to admit, putting myself in that situation and being required to take the meds and getting therapy, together resulted in getting some stability for the first time in my life.

    That was 3 years ago. There have been a couple bumps in the road, but for the most part I have been able to continue compliance. I have accomplished more personally in the last 3 years and been happier & more satisfied with my life than I ever have been. I no longer entertain suicidal thoughts. It wasn't until I got UNdepressed that I realized just how bad it was. I thank GOD that there is medication & therapy for people like me. I dont' even have to wonder where i would be without this experience. I can tell you--I would be dead. I would be dead. But instead, I live a fulfilled life with my family, I have a great job, I have been able to develop some much needed hobbies and at the age of 55 I am finally getting to know myself.

    I wish you all the best in your trials. You've tried everything else, now try the meds. Give it at least 3 months. It won't be easy, but your life right now isn't easy.
    Sarah G, KaroSnowQueen, and VivaLasViejas like this.
  2. Feb 26, '12 by
    It won't hurt to try the meds. Hopefully they will lift you far enough out of your depression that you can make good decisions, which at this point it doesn't sound like you can. As for side effects? I take an anti-depressant. It gives me vivid dreams (I look at it as a free movie every night when I go to bed), and dry mouth - so I drink a lot of water and use hard candy. I can not believe how taking my medication changed my life. I would beg on the streets if I had to for money to buy it, because I know what hell life was without it. If you try them and don't see a difference, or don't like them, you can always go off - but you won't know if they help till you give it an honest try!
    Sarah G likes this.
  3. Feb 26, '12 by
    Perhaps its the stigma of being on one, because this entire society is on one. My dog died, im depressed, i got stuck in traffic, im depressed ect ect so society has pushed these meds for things often times that dont need but meds, but for people to be self accountable to make changes for themselves.
    Im the same as you, I would be very resistant unless I have tried absolutely everything. I was on one my first year of college, lots a lot of weight, slept alllll the time, moody, depressed, I took the meds for about 9 months and I was good, weaned off them and ive been good since and that was 10 years ago. Not everyone needs to be on it forever. But some do. I dont advocate for medicating all the time, but for some it really is necessary.

    Clearly you have already tried everything, and you would probably benefit of at least trying it. Imagine your self feeling better and starting to enjoy life again? You have more to gain by trying it, then staying in this current state.
  4. Feb 26, '12 by
    Sometimes no matter how awful the familiar is, it is more comfortable than and preferable to the unknown.

    I hope you can find some peace with this. Chronic depression can do such a number on a person that they lose the ability to step back and think clearly about things. And I'm saying this as someone who suffered from terrible depression in the past.

    I've long since moved on, thankfully, and medication did play a role in that.

    Sometimes you have to take a leap of faith, suspend your fears for a while, and allow yourself to embrace the unknown. It sounds like you have a strong support system, I don't think that they will let you fall.

    I hope you can find your way out of this dark time in your life. There is a lot of wonder to see in the world once that dark cloud has lifted.
  5. Feb 26, '12 by
    If you're not ready to try antidepressants, consider dietary changes (a la "Food Matters" movie, or others) and perhaps going to see a reiki practitioner. These other modalities may take you to the point where you will give yourself permission to take the meds. Don't knock 'em til you've tried 'em.
  6. Feb 26, '12 by
    Quote from Lucky724
    My family is pushing me to take an antidepressant that was prescribed for me some weeks ago. There is no denying I suffer from depression and anxiety and everything those illnesses bring...a lot has happened in my life, a lot of loss, over the past 10 yrs..I know, everyone has problems/losses etc...so I know it's not just me that has troubles...I have been suffering for a long, long time and there is no denying the depression and anxiety are getting worse, almost daily and absolutely impacting every aspect of my life...I rarely leave home now unless absolutely necessary, don't go anywhere for fun, haven't seen my family in 3 yrs because I'm afraid to leave home..sleep too much or not enough..cry..rage..you name it...I have a fabulous job offer that is to start ina few weeks, it's an answer to many prayer for stablility for us and yet, I'm not really excited and all I can do is think about what can go wrong...this is not normal and I know it..so...why don't I take the meds? To be honest, I'm not 100% sure..even when those around me, including the doctors ask me why...I keep thinking there is another answer or way to handle the depression/anxiety - I've tried praying, exercise, journaling, therapy, eating, not eating, supplements, you name it..this is NOT "the blues" or a few days of feeling "off" - I've had the physical and lab tests..no problems with defienciences.. 2 different doctors (one a psycharist) and a therapist have all said I need medication to help me lift out of the "major depressive disorder" or it' going to get worse..my thoughts will turn more negative (true!). I know people who have been on medications or are on them now and overall them seem to help them..then I read about medications not working, causing more side effects than anything (hair loss, fatigue, etc) else...etc...etc...I am NOT seeking medical advice...just trying to understand why, as a healthcare professional, I know medications can help but also why, as a person, I am extremely resistant to starting on meds. I genuinely don't know why..I try to keep to myself and my struggles to myself so it's not an attention seeking thing...the meds are pricey - $60/mon. out of pocket for me but we can afford it so it's not that. What is wrong with me that I can't - I don't know - give myself permission to feel better? I've made mistakes in life, some I can't undo, but I have years left ahead of me if life goes as it usually does and I can NOT imagine another year, another month actually of living like this..and yet, I resist the very thing that can offer me some hope for any semblance of future and decent life.
    I've been where you are, oh,Yes their are a lot of us around. I will not go into specifics but with me it got so bad that if I committed suicide or put on a new pair of socks it was all the same. I felt that I was ten feet underwater and the rest of the world was above me. Nothing in life phase me. People would die people would live So? Take the bloody meds. What in the name of heaven are you afraid of. You are ready to end it all anyway. All medications have side effects. You can't go on thinking "There was one person in Ohio that took this med and grew another foot. Taking meds is not a show of weakness, it's a sign that you know that you have a problem and your dealing with it. You can either take a couple of pills a day or a whole bottle all at once. If you don't want to think of yourself think of the countless people that may died because you won't be there to help them. There is a way out of that long, black tunnel that you are in. Take it now, Kid.
  7. Feb 26, '12 by
    Give them a try. If they don't work out for you, then stop as advised (taper if required). Have a family member observe when you start, for any severe side effect, just in case. If you try and not a good idea, at least you tried. Best wishes.
    Merlyn likes this.
  8. Mar 9, '12 by
    I want to thank everyone for replying and let you know..that after reading the posts, thinking about my family and their concerns...I took a hard look at what this depression/anxiety was doing to my life and how it was effecting those around me - not just family but over the past year coworkers, job hopping, the finanical stress from working-not working... Depression is not the same as "the blues" - this is a different monster altogether..Making the decision to go on medication is not one I took lightly - my family and doctor have been trying to get me to take medication for a little over a year...I have exhausted all other options and I started one medication last week and another was added a few days ago. The side effects are not too bad, the medications are SNRI's and I figure the side effects are far less damaging then the side effects of the depression and anxiety. I have, for now, made the decision to remain out of the hospital setting as far as work. There are some positives to the hospital and I'm not saying I won't go back but for now I have been offered a position at a wellness clinic - it will be stable, pay well and though it's a 5/day/wk position I think not having so much time on my hands will also be a plus. I won't have to get up way early or get home way late. I will start in a few weeks and that will give the medication time - I hope - to calm some of the anxiety and lift some of the depression. I don't know how long I will need to be on medication - maybe a year, maybe a few years, maybe a lifetime, but right now, it's one day at a time.
    Please know, I am not being "dramatic" when I write this - but truly, each of you who responded made a difference for me - helped me see things differently and I am grateful. Thank you.
    Merlyn, Sarah G, tiredbeatupRN, and 2 others like this.
  9. Mar 9, '12 by
    Quote from Lucky724
    I want to thank everyone for replying and let you know..that after reading the posts, thinking about my family and their concerns...I took a hard look at what this depression/anxiety was doing to my life and how it was effecting those around me - not just family but over the past year coworkers, job hopping, the finanical stress from working-not working... Depression is not the same as "the blues" - this is a different monster altogether..Making the decision to go on medication is not one I took lightly - my family and doctor have been trying to get me to take medication for a little over a year...I have exhausted all other options and I started one medication last week and another was added a few days ago. The side effects are not too bad, the medications are SNRI's and I figure the side effects are far less damaging then the side effects of the depression and anxiety. I have, for now, made the decision to remain out of the hospital setting as far as work. There are some positives to the hospital and I'm not saying I won't go back but for now I have been offered a position at a wellness clinic - it will be stable, pay well and though it's a 5/day/wk position I think not having so much time on my hands will also be a plus. I won't have to get up way early or get home way late. I will start in a few weeks and that will give the medication time - I hope - to calm some of the anxiety and lift some of the depression. I don't know how long I will need to be on medication - maybe a year, maybe a few years, maybe a lifetime, but right now, it's one day at a time.
    Please know, I am not being "dramatic" when I write this - but truly, each of you who responded made a difference for me - helped me see things differently and I am grateful. Thank you.
    I'm really glad you're going to give meds a try. You're right--side effects from depression can be far greater than the side effects of the meds. It sounds like you have a good plan. I think getting out of the pressure cooker of the hospital setting will be a good thing. I know it makes a huge difference in my stability. And having the structure of the job will probably help you feel more stable, too. I find that keeping to a schedule is a very good thing for me. And once I became med-compliant I have felt sooooo much better. I was worried that it would make me feel dull and lifeless, but it has been the opposite. Now that I am no longer dull and lifeless due to depression, I have actually found joy is some new hobbies. I am actuallly *more* creative now on meds than I have been in the last 15 years!

    Let us know how you are doing.
    VivaLasViejas likes this.
  10. Apr 16, '12 by
    Good for you, OP.

    I took antidepressants for a very short time, during a time when I was just struggling, no apparent reason. I resisted and then bowed to peer pressure. I told myself that I wasn't going to take them forever, but that I was going to use them short-term, to give me the strength to develop other coping strategies. For me, I didn't want to be dependent on an expensive med with unpleasant side effect forever.

    That actually worked for me. I made myself a check list of what I felt a healthy, happy person would do daily. Stupid little things like take a vitamin, exercise for 30 minutes, eat one piece of fruit, eat two servings of veggies, do one load of laundry, clean one room of the house, walk the dog every day, etc. Basically all the things I felt like I should do, but was unmotivated to to. Also, obviously, the list included several activities that have been shown to decrease depression.

    After about three months, I was completing the list nearly every day, and so I tapered off the antidepressants. I honestly don't know if the antidepressants helped or if it was a placebo effect: I don't care. I developed some healthy habits that, years later, continue to benefit me. Whenever I feel that fog starting to descend, I make my list again, and after a few days, I'm great again.

    Like you, I was initially so resistant, but I really used my time on antidepressants to develop life-long coping skills. I hope you are able to feel better, and can do the same.
    dyamondaine and VivaLasViejas like this.