For extroverts...please don't ask me - page 3
by hazyblue 6,070 Views | 37 Comments
"Why?" "Why am I quiet?" "Why am I alone?" Stop. Please just stop. Stop asking what's wrong. Stop asking for my problem. Stop making me feel inhuman. Stop making me feel inadequate. Stop acting like I do not belong here.... Read More
- 2Feb 12, '13 by man-nurse2bQuote from hazyblueWoooo thanks you so much for this.... I am an introvert nurse student and it really ticks me of that sometimes my instructors think I'm too shy to be a nurse, when that is not the case. I'm actually not shy at all, I'm just totally misundetstood! I too can make a great nurse manager someday, just because I don't blab everything thing I smell touch and see does not mean I am a poor communicator!"Why?"
"Why am I quiet?"
"Why am I alone?"
Stop. Please just stop.
Stop asking what's wrong.
Stop asking for my problem.
Stop making me feel inhuman.
Stop making me feel inadequate.
Stop acting like I do not belong here.
It makes me start to think that I'm bad.
I don't even see the need to bother me.
I do care for people as much as you do.
I also do work like the rest of you all.
You say that I do not laugh enough.
But dear, you are not even funny.
You say that I rarely talk much.
You don't talk to me neither.
Do you understand?
So please, please,
- an introvert nurse
It's so sad that even amongst nurses, introverts are some kind of "abomination." Please you're making some of us miserable...
Anyways thank you for standing up for us
- 0Feb 12, '13 by AnonRNCI just saw this image this week, but it seemed like a great summation: A simple explanation of how to interact with introverts - 22 Words
- 0Feb 13, '13 by CloudySueQuote from GrnTeaYou are SOOO going to love this! I know nobody's gonna believe me when I say this, but... this is me.
Wait, I'm confused... this is you? You're Susan Cain? I pictured you a bit older, aka "Crusty Old Bat Society"? Plus I thought you were a nurse, not a lawyer.
Or... do you mean you can relate to what she's saying?
- 0Feb 13, '13 by flexisealI'm an introvert too. We are good listeners, most of the time. And thinkers. Introspective. These all are important and wonderful qualities. Though sometimes I wish I didn't internalize and over anaylze everything.
I've found at work though I have to at times force myself to interact with some of my coworkers. Smile. Make conversation with them, act interested even if I'm not. God, I sound like I hate people. I really don't. I don't like the idea of changing who you are to make others comfortable, but it's about making things better for yourself at work.
- 0Feb 13, '13 by GrnTeaQuote from GrnTeaYou are SOOO going to love this! I know nobody's gonna believe me when I say this, but... this is me.
Quote from Jean Marie46514WOW, impressive GrnTea!! WOW!!
but, great video!! LOVED IT!!!! You are amazing!! I so so loved your suggestion that more people spend time in nature! Ah, love that one, wish more people DID seek out nature.
OMG, no, I didn't mean LITERALLY me. Susan Cain is not my name and she is not me! I meant that she was describing me. I was the kid who took books to camp, and I do love to spend time outdoors. I prefer to work in my own office, not out there. I have, over long practice, learned to speak in public and teach (and have enjoyed some modest success at it). I just loved how she described us, is all.
- 3Feb 13, '13 by Hygiene Queen GuideQuote from man-nurse2bI know, right?I'm actually not shy at all, I'm just totally misundetstood... just because I don't blab everything thing I smell touch and see does not mean I am a poor communicator!
I also don't think everything that crosses my mind should be a verbal statement!
(Facebook reinforces this to me and that this is actually a good way to be .
I have seen some statuses that have burned my retinas and made my brain bleed).
Some extroverts have no clue how obnoxious they can be... especially when they think they're being charming.
On the other hand, some extroverts I really admire and envy their ease.
I think it's been said many times, but some extroverts have problems with introverts because we freak 'em out.
They often don't know how to handle silence and they equate it with a bad things: rudeness, unfriendliness, dislike and even hate...
And that's just not always true .
- 2Feb 14, '13 by PRICHARILLAisMISSEDQuote from Jean Marie46514I couldn't have said it better myself. To add to this post from the PP, I'd like to suggest that you try to focus on the fact that they likely do have good intentions. I personally believe that a persons intent is more important (in social matters, anyway) than their execution. Kind of like when you get a gift you really don't like, but the gift giver got it for you because they really thought you would. It's their intentions that are important.Aw, i do feel bad for the OP, it's obvious she is tired of something at her job.
//"You say that I rarely talk much.
You don't talk to me neither."//
You do not wish for them to talk to you, or you do wish they would talk to you?
At any rate, imo, there is a difference, between being a quiet person, and like, someone who can't occasionally smile now and then, til everyone figures out who they are.(a quiet person)
All creatures have body language, and an immobile face, accompanied by zero verbal participation could indicate, or could be mistaken for signs that one is upset, annoyed, etc.
that is why they are all asking you.
So, if that is NOT the case, then no harm in throwing out an occasional smile, every once in a while, just to help your coworkers sort out you are quiet, but, not unhappy. Otherwise, it might be, they have zero feedback from you at all, to allay their worry you are upset. but, probably, overtime, they will learn who you are, and stop asking you how you are.
Maybe no words even req'd, but, an occasional smile could help. If they saw an occasional smile (even if remark was not hilarious) they might stop worrying something is wrong/you are sad/you are upset, maybe if you smile now and then, they'd stop asking you questions which you find annoying. then maybe you could get the 'room' you seem to desire.
I'm only guessing, but, i imagine the people asking you if you are okay, had good intentions, even if the result was you felt annoyed by the questions, i bet their intent was good or kind. I bet the last thing they wanted was to annoy you, i bet they genuinely meant well by asking. They were probably trying to make you feel "included" or cared about, even if it landed wrong in your ear.
Also, just a thought but if it's co-workers of the opposite sex that constantly bombard you with this, maybe they just are attracted to you, but being that you are quiet and don't talk to them for your own reasons, they're unsure on how to approach you since they may see you as an "Ice Queen" (not that you necessarily are one, but it's easy to mistake a beautiful woman who doesn't take the time to speak to you as one).
I'll shut up now.
Last edit by PRICHARILLAisMISSED on Feb 14, '13