for the empathy... you are absolutely welcome.
i moved here because my husband was offered a job on maui. the universe pretty much dropped a job in his lap & said, "you're going!" i could have veto-ed it. said, "no, we're not moving!" but... long story short... i couldn't do that to my husband. it would have been completely selfish of me & unfair to him. he is working only 40 hours/week here (i was doing 70 back home) and has half the stress here. again, i did it for him. said goodbye to everything and everyone important to me, moved to an island, isolated, no friends, no family, no chance for work. (i'm an lpn and can't even find a place to volunteer!) more importantly, i firmly believe it's spirit's (my higher power's) will to move us here, and i wan't about to say no to him/her.
so yeah, i completely understand how hard it is! been there, done that, still doing it! we moved here in january. just last month, i was talking to a friend, crying, (bawling!) and i said, "i never asked for this." and then, after getting all the tears out... a week later, something changed, and i now feel less sad, more comfortable, more welcome here.
i re-read slobgob & mcubed. i didn't see anything negative. they see it through the eyes of the college.
slobgob wrote: "kick off your slippers, apply everywhere, hit the beach, and i promise that 1 year will fly by." you might not see it, but that's his (her?) way of helping you... telling you to relax and enjoy what the island has to offer.
i read augiebear. he/she wrote, "get over it." joliedame: if you focus on what you have in your life, you'll probably create happiness for yourself. if you focus on what you lack, you'll probably create frustration inside of you. if you focus on augiebear, you'll probably create anger in your life. if you focus on frow, me, and other posters, you'll probably create peace in your life.
if i was you, i would send a great big thank you to frow. send her a private email and get her phone # !!! do you realize... that her email and the info she shared might save you 1 to 2 years of effort??? do you have any idea how valueable that one post might end up being to you?
jolie wrote: "you have helped me to see that i will not get the type of response i so desire if i do not give it out." i'm sincerely thrilled to see you write that! i wish more people understood that they create their own lives, they create their own reality. they get what they give.
1. focus on yourself, writing about "tagging alongside your spouse and at every tour you attempt to go to school and then on the next tour its a whole different set of rules...it gets a little bit more frustrating" and
2. you don't talk about how other people are messed up / screwed up / dysfunctional... then
3. you're more likely to get the understanding & support you need.
you might not get it from augiebear, but you might get it from frow, myself, and other people on this forum. today, you might not see that slobgob & mcubed are helpful. six months from now, you might see they helped you a lot by helping you understand the culture, and understand why people are doing what they're doing. and helping you understand it's not about you. anyone in your situation would be going through the same thing.
a suggestion... read these forums!!! not just for the last month. read questions and answers people have posted for the last two years! i've been here 7 months. this forum has been a wonderful resource for me. has helped me learn a lot. has helped me adjust to life here.
joliedame: aloha & e komo mai ! -- lisa ;-)