relationship advice about joining the guard

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Just seeking some advice here. I really, really want to join the military when I graduate. Probably the guard or army reserves. Not only do I want to serve our country, but it would take care of most of the 80,000 in student loans I will have. My girlfriend of 6 months, however, isn't supportive of the idea. Doesn't think she can handle it. She thinks if I am deployed that she will probably leave the relationship. I don't know what else to tell her and was wondering if anyone had some advice. Part of me wants to respect her wishes but I'm not sure I want to marry her yet and part of me feels like the woman I'm going to be with should be supportive in my dreams and proud that I want to wear the uniform and serve. Any thoughts welcome.

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I like supportive spouses the best.

Your question has 'military' in it but the real question you seem to be asking about is advice on you relationship...

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Specializes in ER, ICU.

I gave up military dreams for my ex, then got divorced, and am now in the Air National Guard. I just barely made the age restriction. You may have to choose between the two. You can always meet another woman, but you can't always join the military. The military will give you unique experiences that you can't get anywhere else, can you say that about her?

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I gave up military dreams for my ex, then got divorced, and am now in the Air National Guard. I just barely made the age restriction. You may have to choose between the two. You can always meet another woman, but you can't always join the military. The military will give you unique experiences that you can't get anywhere else, can you say that about her?

Unfortunately, I can't say she does just that. We talked about it more indepth and she is actually terrified of me going overseas fearing we will grow apart or afraid that I will cheat on her. She said if she leaves me it will be before I go, not after, because she isn't going to take the chance. She feels very strongly about it and her position is not likely to change.

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Specializes in EMS, ED, Trauma, CEN, CPEN, TCRN.

Sounds like she has some trust issues of her own to fix, before anything else. Good luck.

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I had a boyfriend like that once. He told me he wouldn't stay with me if I decided to enter the military. Ironic thing: he was National Guard himself.

Fastforward 4 years: I'm now an active duty RN and 2LT commissioned 27 Jan. Bottom line: if you really feel strongly about what you want, don't let anything--or anyone--stand in your way. The person you're supposed to end up with will be supportive of you. Yes, being apart sucks, but if she really loves you and trusts you, she will let you do what you need to do. Just a couple lessons learned from someone who's been where you are now. Best of luck!

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Sounds like she's already enivisioning a life without you.....if you "really, really" want to join, the decision is already made.

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Specializes in Nephrology, Cardiology, ER, ICU.

People that are in trusting adult relationships are aware that you are not going to be together all the time. Personally I wouldn't put my life on hold for anyone. However my husband and I are supportive of each others goals.

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