What is normal / typical?

My grandmother is 91 and is in a LTC facility. She has significant physical health issues and limited use of her limbs. She uses an electric wheelchair to get around and can walk a few feet with a walker. Cognitively she does okay although her memory is poor (days run together and she forgets a lot) and she finds it hard to make any decision - it is too stressful. She is very anxious / worrier in general. She is also fiercely independent. She is incontinent and in diapers and does all her own care (not well). The home has reduced her diaper quota to 3 per 24 hr period and recently stopped carrying her size so she is 110 lbs in a size 16 diaper. She is stressed out and upset almost every day over this. There is leakage everywhere. She has started putting towels on her bed and chair and her clothes and room smell. I often come in and find soiled towles and clothes in the room. She also has been getting rashes / blisters in her groin area and I really don't think she is able to do any peri care. She really isn't able to manage it all on her own. She receives no personal care other than bathing. Partly because she is defined as independent care and so no staff time is allotted to her and partly because she her finds the idea of someone changing her diaper and cleaning her up completely humiliating. I have raised these issues with the home director of care and she is pretty much indifferent - basically infers that incontinence and soiling and smelling is part of being in LTC.

I have contacted the next people up in the chain and they kind of make me feel stupid - as in you want to make a complaint about diapers??? I however think that this situation is worth attention from someone and there has to be some discussions around getting the proper size and quantity of diapers and also getting the soiled towels / clothes taken out of her room on a regular basis.

I intend to keep working my up until someone listens - am I taking this too far - is this really typical for LTC?