These comments are SOOOOO on target!!! I've been LTC for the last 25+ years , and like you all, I am stunned by family behaviours. But I am no longer surprised by anything anymore.
I'm amazed by families who SPY for one another and have their own little cliques, like it's their responsibility to run the place (and the industry). And they are the authorities on everything! I attribute their behaviours to their own "guilties", when their care of their sig. others was less than stellar and now they have the "guilties". So by exercising their self-importance, and being the guard for others, they assuage their 'guilties'.
In my experiences, I find it ironic when their family member returns to us and there is a such a sense of relief and gratitude to 'be home'. They truly see the difference when their Mom doesn't get OOB for the whole hospitalization, and Dad hasn't been shaved fo 5 days, and nobody takes the time to help with meals trays... I've seen major attitude adjustments with readmissions.
Not having seen that Dr Phil show, I will concede that nsg home problems DO exist out there. Crazy regulations, decreasing reimbursements, poor staffing, liimited equip/supplies etc etc etc all impact the industry. And in some extreme cases, abuse will exist.
I want to say to those folk out there (incl members of AN here) who think they can do better than nsg homes can, then do it yourself.
Of course, the media does foster the sensationalism of nsg home abuse with the "1-800-dial LAWYER"commercials. And I betcha those chronic, habitual complainers have the State DOH/Ombudsman Office on their speed-dial, also.