Today's Dr. Phil shocker: Nursing home abuse

[GLORIAmunchkin72]

Or more specifically elder abuse.

A woman states this particular nursing home has been abusing her mother for 2 years. Would you wait that long to remove your mother if you believed she was?

Something not quite right here.

[redhead_NURSE98!, ADN, BSN]

Then there are those family members that show up only on Easter and Christmas and complain about absolutely everything at those times. If they'd been in to visit their family member at some point before that, we may have been able to resolve these issues long ago...the valid ones anyway.

They do this at the hospital too, show up on day 5 of an admission and tell us EVERYTHING we've done wrong, and how "his sheets haven't been changed for 5 days." And how long have you been here to get all this info? Oh, 2 hours. Okay, I'll get right on that.

[VivaLasViejas, ASN, RN]

This topic makes my blood boil!! I'm a DON in assisted living and I deal with these prima-donna families all. the. time. They are the bane of long-term care, and in AL especially, these people expect concierge service and have the gall to be upset when we have to remind them that we really aren't a luxury hotel.

I am sick of co-signing their B.S. during care plan meetings, just because Corporate doesn't want to lose a high-acuity resident who's private pay: "Oh, of course your Dad doesn't need to go to a nursing home" when "Dad" can't even feed himself anymore; three staff members have been injured in the past month because he needs to be moved with a mechanical lift and we don't have them in AL; and he has to be transferred onto the toilet by 2-3 aides literally every 20-30 minutes while awake because he has severe urinary retention and his daughter won't even hear of using a catheter. )

Yes, there are also good families, and they are treasured for their helpfulness and their resources for handling Mom or Dad's needs. They often know something is amiss with their loved ones before we do, and their promptness in notifying us of the changes have undoubtedly saved lives. It's the ones like the daughter described above that stick in my craw, and unfortunately all it takes is a few people like that to make life miserable for all concerned.

[amoLucia]

To Viva - doesn't inappropriate level of care requirements affect you somehow in your regs??? I mean you must be being surveyed by someone? And just have something go drastically south and those families will screaming holy heck!

Please know that I'm not telling YOU anything you probably haven't tried bringing up to your powers-that-be. But WOW!! I see so many issues --- but I guess the almighty dollar is corporate's golden idol. And for the family who isn't facing the need for higher level of care needs because of that golden idol also.

Talk about abuse (in a different definition)...

[BrandonLPN, LPN]

Oh, shows like Dr Phil are just trashy and melodramatic. I'm sure they'll play the "evil music" when they show the resident with bruises on his arm so the audience gets their cue to think "bad nurses". Cause we all know the only *possible* way a 90 year old on coumadin therapy could bruise is by staff abusing them....

[txspadequeenRN, BSN, RN]

ooppppssssss

[txspadequeenRN, BSN, RN]

i cant say A-MEN loud enough......

Absolutely not! I work in LTC and A LOT family members act like the floor staff are incompetent and are mistreating or abusing their loved one yet they NEVER remove them! I don't get it! You are always rude and condescending to the staff, always threating to sue the facility, but as soon as the patient has to be transferred to the ER for further evaluation (not necessarily because of distress) and remains out of the facility for almost a week, the POA/RP NEVER OBJECTS to the hospital sending them back to the same big bad nursing home that they swear is negligent. I can't stand how they always have issues EVERY TIME THEY COME BUT THEY NEVER COME TO CAREPLAN! And the families that do have legitimate concerns and do come to all careplan meeting yet remain CHRONICALLY UNSATISFIED for whatever reason, will not remove the patient! These are also the same people who are always calling the state on the facility. What I also don't understand is WHY the facilities continue to kiss these people's behind when THEY KNOW the family is NEVER SATISFIED; when they should be saying to them in their kindest, most professional but stern tone is: We have done all that you have asked and corrected our mistakes, yet you remain unsatisfied with the care we are providing. So, since you remain unhappy, we are going to assist you in finding placement in another facility of your choosing or from this prepared list of long term care providers within in a 50 mile radius from your current address. It makes no sense in trying to "satisfy" the customer who is never satisfied. More often than not in healthcare, the customer IS NOT ALWAYS RIGHT.

[brown eyed girl]

I am a DON in LTC and I just want you to know I agree with you 1000%. Unfortunately it's not my call to make either. Some of these families are absolutely insane in their demands. I've got one family member that begins every single conversation with "Good afternoon. This is Jane Doe's son the lawyer. I want you to fix ____. Call me in an hour and tell me what you did". Yea...kiss my ___sir because there is someone a lot sicker down the hall than your dear sweet (manipulative) mother. Tried to talk the administrator into assisting with alternative placement but no such luck.

What's with administration pandering to these people? It's really not worth it. Why don't these Administrators get it through their heads that there will always be sick, elderly, demented people with or without money. I also don't understand WHY when the patient has had a stroke and has paralysis, the family INSISTS on feeding them solid food when they know they are on a mechanical soft or pureed diet and has issues with swallowing; then, when they turn up with aspiration pneumonia and you call them with the resident's condition change, EVERYONE IN THE FAMILY IS CLUELESS and begins to suspect the facility abusing their mother! They have been told over and over again, yet they continue to do it never once thinking that THEY ARE ABUSING THEIR MOTHER! Or, what about the little man who weighs 110 lbs, has poor meal intake, has Alzheimer's and completely demented and has every chronic condition known to man, and the family has him as a FULL CODE! THAT'S ABUSE!

[GLORIAmunchkin72]

I wouldn't underestimate Dr. Phil too much. He reaches a lot of people and carries a lot of weight (figuratively speaking and otherwise?), however I was surprised that he got on the bandwagon with this grown woman who seems to be in her right mind, documented every sign of 'abuse' for TWO YEARS and when asked why she waited two years to remove her mother from such an abusive place she meekly replied: "I didn't know I could". Now, give me a break!!!

Oh, shows like Dr Phil are just trashy and melodramatic. I'm sure they'll play the "evil music" when they show the resident with bruises on his arm so the audience gets their cue to think "bad nurses". Cause we all know the only *possible* way a 90 year old on coumadin therapy could bruise is by staff abusing them....

[brown eyed girl]

I wouldn't underestimate Dr. Phil too much. He reaches a lot of people and carries a lot of weight (figuratively speaking and otherwise?), however I was surprised that he got on the bandwagon with this grown woman who seems to be in her right mind, documented every sign of 'abuse' for TWO YEARS and when asked why she waited two years to remove her mother from such an abusive place she meekly replied: "I didn't know I could". Now, give me a break!!!

She didn't know she could????!!!! ™Are you serious?? Wow! Has anyone had a family member take the resident out on a loa, they drop them on the floor or they accidentally fall while walking, and instead of them calling 911, they bring them back to the facility then proceeds to say "I want him/her to go to the hospital." Seriously? We actually had that happen about 3 months ago at our facility, the patient fell and hit his head. Instead of calling ems, she brought him back to the facility, he refused to go to the hospital for evaluation, and he was DEAD in less than a week. Its shameful.

[Lame]

I have a resident whose son refuses to let him wear Depends. His solution is to let his dad wear underwear with a pad. The poor guy is always urinating in his pants because sometimes he can't control his bladder. There have been days when this poor old man has had to change his pants 4 times during my shift. What does his son have to say about this? "You guys aren't checking on my dad enough and you aren't asking him if he needs to go to the bathroom." The son always lectures me about how much money he's spending on the "minimal" care that we provide. Sometimes I want to tell him to move his dad out if he hates it here so much. It's irritating how my ALD gives into his demands especially when the resident does go in his pants and I can't check on him until 30+ min later because he's not my only resident. When his dad gets a UTI, I'm sure the son will blame us.

The best part is when the son ridicules my resident for not being able to control his bladder. The guy is over 90. The fact that he can walk to and from the bathroom is an amazing feat for someone his age. If he's incontinent sometimes, so what? I think sometimes families can be the biggest abusers.

[amoLucia]

To Lame - ridicule is absolutely considered abuse. If the staff were doing it, they'd be on the front page of the local newspaper. That son needs to be put on notice that he is guilty of abuse. Your facility should do so immediately.

To Brown eyed girl - I worked at a facility that had absolutely the same scenario incident with a pt falling at home, and the family bringing pt back to NH. I recall there were also some injuries noted when he went out to the hospital.

[cienurse]

These comments are SOOOOO on target!!! I've been LTC for the last 25+ years , and like you all, I am stunned by family behaviours. But I am no longer surprised by anything anymore.

I'm amazed by families who SPY for one another and have their own little cliques, like it's their responsibility to run the place (and the industry). And they are the authorities on everything! I attribute their behaviours to their own "guilties", when their care of their sig. others was less than stellar and now they have the "guilties". So by exercising their self-importance, and being the guard for others, they assuage their 'guilties'.

In my experiences, I find it ironic when their family member returns to us and there is a such a sense of relief and gratitude to 'be home'. They truly see the difference when their Mom doesn't get OOB for the whole hospitalization, and Dad hasn't been shaved fo 5 days, and nobody takes the time to help with meals trays... I've seen major attitude adjustments with readmissions.

Not having seen that Dr Phil show, I will concede that nsg home problems DO exist out there. Crazy regulations, decreasing reimbursements, poor staffing, liimited equip/supplies etc etc etc all impact the industry. And in some extreme cases, abuse will exist.

I want to say to those folk out there (incl members of AN here) who think they can do better than nsg homes can, then do it yourself.

Of course, the media does foster the sensationalism of nsg home abuse with the "1-800-dial LAWYER"commercials. And I betcha those chronic, habitual complainers have the State DOH/Ombudsman Office on their speed-dial, also.

Bravo! Couldn't have said it better myself!!