Sexual health and the elderly

Well...had a bit of a shocker today.

I have a elderly couple I have worked with for 2 years. The wife just went through a stroke and lost her memory of her husband for a while. It was very very sad, he would be helping her and she didn't know who he was and screamed that there was a man in her room..the whole bit. But bless the husband...he stood true, left if she asked, and just continued to show her so much love and compassion that she got some memory back...but otherwise fell in love with him all over again!

So, last night they decided to make love so they asked very polietly if the caregivers did not interupt them for an hour or two. The caregiver certainly agreed and worked out a code knock system for when she could come in and give them their evening meds so as not to disturb them...awesome!

But alas...a nurse put a stop to this! Her reasoning is that the woman is volunerable, unable to make that choice, must...at her age...have an atophied uterus/vaginia, and can not achieve lubrication. Then she proceeded to say..get this..a man of 93 can NOT get an erection!

I was friggen floored! I told her that this was a very healthy responce, it is a dignity issue, and that you can have sexual intercourse at that age and that is was a natural healthy way for a man and wife to show their love for one another...she thought I was off my rocker!

I arranged a private dinner in their room tonight, caregivers are NOT to go in until the call light is pulled at 2200 to signal they may come in, and even took the wife aside and asked about any lubrication needs she may have and I could have those ordered. She did take me up on that offer because "I want him to love me again, and being that close is so wonderful!~".

90's don't mean you are sexually dead, and I can't believe someone would tell a man and wife NO! Makes me sick!

I also found that some of my widowed female residents have personal massage aids as well...and three women had them taken away once the management found out. I said..well if that is the case, then we better mitten the hands of some of the gents?!?!? My goodness...you have a sexual loving healthy relationship till your mate dies..and you have to give it all up (even if it is self???).

What are your thoughts on sexual health of the elderly??? I think it is an important part of being a human being, and a great way to relieve stress and feel good about yourself no matter what your age (age of consent of course)....