To all of the Adult children of the residents I care for every day in LTC... Thank you for coming to visit your mother on Mother's Day.
Perhaps if you visited more frequently you would not be so shocked at her decline from the dementia that has had her in it's grip for years. Maybe then you would not have lashed out at the staff in your moment of anger.
Is it too much for me to to hope that you could bring yourself to visit a little more frequently? How about next Sunday? Or Friday? You can make any day feel special if you just come in and sit quietly by your mother, hold her hand, feed her a snack, roll her through the garden, rub scented lotion on her hands, put cream on her lips. Walk beside her for a few laps of the unit-she covers miles of ground a day.
Listen to us when we tell you how you can make your visits enjoyable. Don't stand over her and scream "Who am I, mother?" Don't descend on her with 10 people and an armload of gifts and then get upset yourself when she becomes agitated from the noise and commotion. She is way past the point of the gift or even knowing how to unwrap it (and then you had the nerve to leave the recipts for the accounting dept so you can be reimbursed from her account - you really should be ashamed).
And how dare you LAUGH as your confused, combative mother attempts to beat the stuffing out of the nurse who is trying to keep her from standing up and falling over to get away from all of you.
Lastly, I want to THANK the only family member who thanked me for caring for her mother. She said "this is for you guys, thanks for taking such good care of my mother now that I am unable to do it" - she brought a whopping big cake for the staff to share. And I cried-I'm so tired....